Il giustiziere del Bronx

A new sheriff in town helps a good hearted robot battle other cyborgs who are militant and kill crazy, where as some cyborgs are good and civilized, anyway the new sheriff sorts everything out after training with Woody Strode (The film's most famous cast member) in this crummy action flick which is pretty much what you would expect from the bargain bin. Bronx Executioner is one of the 4 titles you can have for the low price of 5 dollars and of course as the old saying goes, if something is too good to be true, it is. So with 4 movies for 5 bucks (6 with tax) This averages out to be a dollar a movie and when I got done watching this clunker, I started wondering if I hadn't paid too much. Another interesting thing is that the DVD promises a Michael Dudikoff introduction which sadly never materializes and instead we witness in horror as Italian actors run around and shoot at each other with no sense of who's really shooting who or for that matter who we should be rooting for. Still as these things go, there is some schlocky fun but it's not nearly as fun as say ROTOR or Future War which offer more bang (Read laughs) for the buck. Still i'm not complaining, after all I have nobody to blame but myself for buying this. And to think I could've used the five dollars to buy myself a Mad Magazine. A pity.

* out of 4-(Bad)

A whiskey stream of consciousness review.

"Time to get busy" Nothing like a fade out into an android crotch. Not sure where this was filmed, but it looks more like a giant quarry outside an Italian villa more than a post-apocalypse Bronx, NY. Machine pistols, .22s, carbines, and nail guns galore! Never will you see more proficiency with the "spray and pray" MAC-10 than how head cyborg Shark uses it in this film. The amount of perfect technique and accuracy he displays with his machine pistol is another example of why we really need to prevent AI from becoming Skynet. By the way, you know you have genius-level creativity when the main baddie is named "Shark"! Woody Strode is pretty good as the intense sheriff of NY. Sadly, he is sorely misused in the film. Dakar (Alex Vitale) the sympathetic hulk of an android with a heart, is a cross between private Pyle and Lou Ferrigno with maybe a dash of "Raw Deal" Schwarzenegger. "You're only an android which is zero!" And the first credit at the films finish is for continuity! Bwahahaha! Ridiculous, almost like the director put it there to say "blame this one!" Continuity aside, how about the editing?! Looks like the editor may have also worked on Troll 2. Seriously. It shows. Could have used better effects and maybe a few gore shockers. Not the best "so bad it's good" film, but enjoyable enough. Especially with a dram of Wild Turkey Rare Breed! Cheers!

Being some one who likes to catch a movie that features Woody Strode I decided to get this movie out. Well I could be forgiven for thinking that this was a sequel to THE FINAL EXECUTIONER (1984) that featured William Mang and Harrison Muller and also Margit Evelyn Newton. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085540/ The reason for this looking to like a sequel is because this movie , THE BRONX ECCUTIONER seems to start where THE FINAL EXECUTIONER finishes. But thats not the case at all ! What it is , is actually is footage from THE FINAL EXCECUTIONER has been put into this movie. I have to admit that this is pretty clever how they did it. If someone never saw THE FINAL EXCECUTIONER they probably wouldn't notice it. This in part is due to the storyline being pretty basic and confusing at times. Also with the dubbing you lose a bit of the plot too.

When The Final Excecutioner was released when Woody Strode would have been about 69 or 70 years old. The Bronx Excecutioner was released when Woody was 75 years old. But as I mentioned the footage was taken from The Final Excecutioner so Woody Strode didn't actually take part in this movie in actual terms. Never mind !

The scene where Woody Strode takes on some guys is fairly good and I have to say that for a man of his age probably 69 at the time , Woody could do all of the stuff and go through the motions. He also did his own stunts in the film too. I have to mention again that it was pretty clever how they inserted Woody Strode into the film but thats the main reason that this movie has any sort of worth. Other than that well there is some passable action and a story line thats pretty much senseless but with an occasional surprise . But besides that I have to say that I'd be flat out trying to find anything else good about this film.

This is another film I happened upon at my local DVD rental outlet of which I had no prior knowledge; having watched a spate of belated Euro-Cult sci-fi outings over the last couple of years, I suspected I’d be in for a ‘so bad it’s good’ ride – but the end result, though certainly unintentionally hilarious, is a wretched piece of junk.

To begin with the plot doesn’t make a lick of sense: little wonder, since it lifted a good deal of footage – including Woody Strode’s entire performance – from THE FINAL EXECUTIONER (1983), a film directed by Romolo Guerrieri (hence his unofficial credit above)! Anyway, here we get a rookie sheriff in a futuristic New York – replacing Strode (dubbed, what else, “The Black Man”) – who has to quell an ongoing conflict between a colony of androids and one comprised of renegade humanoids (the script even makes some dumb comparisons between the latter’s fate and that endured by Native Americans over the years!); incidentally, don’t ask me to explain the difference between each faction of robots, because I sure as hell couldn’t tell them apart!!

As is usual for this kind of film, we’re treated to a crappy electronic score and characters who could best be described as scum; ironically, the would-be hero doesn’t do much of anything throughout (even if he’s relentlessly undermined by martinet Strode during his period of training). As a matter of fact, the lead is actually...er...the leader of the humanoids – a short-tempered beefcake wearing a ridiculously undersized sleeveless shirt and who’s supposedly fallen in love with a human; when she’s raped and murdered by rival androids, he sets out to infiltrate the latter’s castle base (having by this time befriended the cop). Margie Newton (from Bruno Mattei’s equally lamentable HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD [1980]) is the bimbo leader of the villainous robots – who, amusingly, gets an itch for lovemaking just as the final onslaught is about to begin!

While there are some undeniable howlers throughout – particularly the humanoid leader’s dumb monologues – the film is simply too poorly handled (in all departments) to be easily enjoyed; in fact, even if less than 90 minutes in length, I found it virtually unbearable...

THE BRONX EXECUTIONER begins with lots of electronic / computer stuff going on, letting us know that we're in "the future".

This movie is a conglomeration of elements and particles from other movies that were actual hits, unlike this misbegotten stew of misery. There are bits of ROBOCOP, BLADE RUNNER, and THE TERMINATOR, with a pinch of THE ROAD WARROR tossed in for the hell of it.

How could this not be the most exciting movie ever made?

A woman named Margie (Margie Newton) is head of an army of killer-biker androids. They lead an assault on mankind that is sheer, chunky cheddar ballet! Bullets fly as people flip, flop, and twist about in slow-motion! All while Margie runs around in her red, leatherette mini-dress and dog collar!

The dialogue is poetically pathetic, and constitutes the greatest strength of this cinematic smegma..

Enter Warren (Woody Strode), who's in this movie for reasons unknown. Fights occur. More people fly around. Motorcycles ride through a blasted landscape. There are musclemen. A rape / murder scene exists only to show pointless nudity, and to give the viewer something to be angry about other than the emptiness of this nonsense. A battle takes place. Margie decides to shed her clothes as well. Etc.

A stupendously skull-flattening experience...