Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood

I love the Witchcraft series! They have everything a bad horror series needs! Death, sex, nudity, bad acting, bad writing, and bad directing. Oh! And the beautiful Stephanie Beaton! God, this woman is beautiful! I found this movie to be gorier then the others for some reason. But I credit that to Ron Ford(who also played the killer in The Bagman!) One thing that did p*** me off, was that this movie had more sex scenes than any of the others! I definitely think this series has become total soft-core porn! They definitely need to retire this series!

The acting seemed cardboard like, as were the characters. The story seemed unbelievable in almost every fashion. There are many other movies with similar ideas out there more worth your time. "To the lions for this one"!

I rented this movie from Netflix with no high expectations and got what I expected. It's a laughably bad horror film with laughably bad acting and a laughably bad story. But this one leaned a lot towards softcore porn. B-horror movies are known to be rife with female nudity, but this movie has a naked breast in practically every scene. And this is the R-rated version! Assuming there is an unrated version, I can't imagine how much skin there'll be in that flick. As a matter of fact, without the witchcraft plot and a couple of gruesome f/x, this could be passed off as soft porn. Like soft porn, the characters find any excuse to take off their clothes and get it on.

Rather than cringe throughout the film, I just decided to have fun with it. I'm an aspiring actor, so I looked at it is an instructional video for "What Not To Do When You're Acting." I would try to take notice the moments where the actors make a facial expression, which are few and far between. So it's kind of like playing a road game where you're trying to point out every license plate from a certain state. In this case, it was like driving around New Jersey and trying to point out all the Texas license plates. I would try to compile a list of who the worst actors were and the who the best were (or lesser of evils). The laughably bad acting distracted me from the plot. Yes, it has a plot (I didn't say it's a good one, though). But whatever I was missing couldn't have been much.

Besides, when a hot, ample-breasted chick pops up topless in almost every shot, what am I doing complaining? However, the director could've made the lesbian scenes more erotic. The scenes would last pretty long, but all the girls do is kiss. And that sleep-inducing score also distracted me. Rather than having an erotic score that intensifies the eroticism of the sex scenes, we hear this cheesy elevator music which belongs in a Lifetime movie. Though I had fun with the movie, after watching it I felt like I just fried a billion brain cells. I had to watch Alfred Hitchcock's "Frenzy" afterwards to restore my brain power.

My score: 6 (out of 10)

Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood (2000)

** (out of 4)

Three college girls are putting on a production of MacBeth when they decide to become witches and help a demon find a key that will open the gateway to Hell. Lucky for the world that one of the girls has a sister that is dating the one and only Will Spanner (James Servais). This eleventh film in the series gets a higher than normal rating from me but please don't think it's because this is a better made movie or anything like that. No, this here is just as bad as the previous ten entries but this one here is so laughably bad that I couldn't help but have a good time with it. I've seen a great number of movies and I really can't think of a film where rape is funny. The subject is ugly and I'm really ashamed to say this but there's a rape scene here that's actually funny and it's when two of the witches rape a priest who is crying and begging for his virginity. The scene is obviously so wrong but at the same time the priest's performance is so bad that you can't help but laugh. This film also offers up other hilarious performances and just check out the "acting" towards the end when the three girls are walking off and the crowd of heroes are reacting to them. This film also manages to be a tad bit gorier than previous entries and we even get some violent face ripping and stabbing to the eyes. As for nudity, there's quite a bit here but the majority of it comes from people you really don't want to see naked. Stephanie Beaton returns as Detective Lutz and her scene at the end where she's being sexually attacked is something you've got to see to fully believe. Kathleen St. Lawrence plays the main witch here and while her acting wasn't the greatest, I thought she was incredibly cute and I noticed that this was her only film credit, which leads me to believe she found other ways of making money other than taking her clothes off for an eleventh film in a series. Again, WITCHCRAFT XI is a bad movie but thankfully it's bad enough to make you laugh and keep you entertained.

I am one of an increasing aficionados of this series. Having abandoned quality after the first one the series has opted for repeating a formula with usually increasing flesh and hoping that word of mouth and shear deluge of films will make money. The trick has largely worked. I found out about this via an occult and a vampire website where the stage and screen actor Stephen Armourae listed them as minor films with a particular interest, some of the actresses have appeared in sketches by him as well. In this lot thats bare flesh and bad acting. Steve is clearly unimpressed that the word Witchcraft should be attached to this lot: he is an occultism and has written on wicca. OK so here's the deal: Will Spanner returns, continuously since Witchcraft 2, with the delightful if too peroxide Delia Sheppard, here with his fiancé Kelly Jordan who for the sake of the script has not met people she appeared with in previous films. That's not a good sign for a film. The thrust of this one is that Kelly's sister and 3 attractive students can't act better than mahogany and they will murder Macbeth. So they are encouraged to perform a supposed witchcraft ritual to give authenticity to their performances. Gate of Hell inevitably opens and everyone gets their clothes off. This is not rated highly compared to the others in the series by Armourae either. But the sound is better and Anita Page is a bonus: a silent star aged 90 giving this a poignancy it doesn't deserve.