Alien Outlaw

A group of three aliens comes to Earth to . . . well, I'm not really sure why they're here. They steal some guns - old style revolvers and rifles - and start shooting people. Oh, and they also beat-up a car for some reason. Our heroine, Jesse Jamison (Kari Anderson), seems to be the only person in the small town the aliens have landed who can do anything about them. She's an expert with a gun herself and it's up to her to save the day.

I would say that Alien Outlaw was trying to cash in on the success of Predator, but it actually came out first. I suppose the aliens are on Earth to do a little hunting as in Predator, but they don't seem to have any weapons of their own. So, like I said earlier, I'm not sure why they're here. You'd think that a civilization capable of interstellar travel would have a better plan than these three seem to have.

Beyond the plot's lack of logic, almost everything else is bad. The special effects are poor, the comedy is weak, and the acting is downright atrocious. The film features two old time Western actors, Sunset Carson and Lash La Rue. Neither brings much to the table other than some unintentional humor. In short, Alien Outlaw is pretty much a disaster.

As bad as it is, there are a couple of things to enjoy. There are a few scenes that actually (most likely by accident) work. For example, the scenes where the aliens come out of the water are effective and nicely filmed. But the main reason to see Alien Outlaw is for lead actress Kari Anderson. It's not that she's much of an actress (this is her only acting credit), but those legs! Anderson's legs are the real star of the Alien Outlaw.

You can say a lot about this zero-budgeted amateur trash movie, but certainly not that it suffers from false modesty... The DVD-cover proudly cries out: "The movie that formed the inspiration for Predator!" Right, okay, I can maybe see some vague similarities, but to even try and compare this lame Z-grade nonsense with the sublime Schwarzenegger Sci-Fi/action classic is beyond preposterous. Another thing the DVD proclaims is: "From the creator of The Dark Power". That, on the other hand, should have triggered my brain to put the film safely back where it was. "The Dark Power" is one of the dullest and most imbecilic horror movies of the 80s, and "Alien Outlaw" isn't any better, in fact. The particular creator - Phil Smoot - must have had an epiphany in 1985, because wrote & directed his only two cheesy full-feature movies, and then vanished back into anonymity. In both movies, Smoot foresees crucial roles for his (I assume) personal childhood hero Lash LaRue; - a long retired actor who made a handful of western movies in the 1940s that nobody ever watched. The lead heroine is a travelling gunslinger expert named Jesse Jamison (get it?). She has such beautiful and sexy legs that she refuses to wear pants throughout the entire movie. Her two male employees are too busy sleeping around with local floozies, so Jesse is entirely alone to battle a couple of ugly aliens that land on earth and randomly start killing people. The aliens look like smaller versions of Chewbacca with bad hangovers and sunglasses. You'd also expect that the aliens bring along their hi-tech and far advanced space-armory, like laser guns or something, but nah. They just steal old-fashioned earthly pistols and twirl them around like Sunset Carson and Lash LaRue did in their stupid 40s westerns. This all may sound cheesy and fun enough, but you know very well that, in reality, this is the type of dreadfully tedious amateur flick with overlong and meaningless dialogues, atrocious acting, infantile humor and inept action footage. If you are really, really bored you can perhaps watch "Alien Outlaw" simply to gaze at Kari Anderson's beautiful legs, because it's the only movie she ever appeared in (and, judging by her acting skills, righteously so)

I call this a perfect case movie because that's how much you'd have to drink to make it bearable. That being said, if you're drunk enough this might be watchable, it really is that bad. Plan 9 From Outer Space is a masterpiece compared to this disaster. Hey, toss me another beer.

--along comes this one. Some may feel that it was supposed to be funny, but that's majorly debatable. However, check out two interesting reviews here, written by people who were involved in the making of 'Alien Outlaw'--- they give some unique perspective on it. Bottom line, in spite of any fond memories they have of the filming (the crews do work hard, even on films that have idiotic scripts, plots, dialogue, and acting) it's truly one of the most awful movies ever released. It sadly deserves every riff.

What is up with these faux sci-fi films that mostly focus on thick-tongued yokels? The women in this (including the heroine) are used as props to flash their T&A and service unattractive men they'd never touch in real life. SO MUCH TIME is utterly wasted on nothing but dragging out redundant, boring scenes and forcing us to spend time with annoying, unlikable people we'd dread sitting next to on a Greyhound bus. The talent agency woman/office are laughably pretentious. Oh, they book for some of the biggest, classiest events in the country? The tacky, cheap office that looks like a factory break room says otherwise! The Fauxcahontas outfit the put-upon guntrick chick (Jesse) wears is stupid, as is the movie's insistence she bend over in it. The music is ugly. And apparently the plot is something we have no business being curious about. However, though she wasn't a good actor, I liked Jesse and cared about her getting a better agent (I really wasn't given a choice). Also, Lash had an incoherent charm in his role. However, my favorite character was the black gas station attendant. He was very pleasant and behaved naturally. Finally, I appreciated them cheering Jesse on to fight the aliens, even if she did so in a Party City "Pocahontas" costume she apparently lost the skirt to.