L'ordre de l'Aigle Noir

Have you ever wanted to see a movie about a cryogenically frozen Hitler held in a South American Nazi base? Or what about a movie featuring a baboon flying a plane and driving a tank? Then 'Order of the Black Eagle' is for you!

Duncan Jax is an international spy who with his group, is set to infiltrate a South American Nazi cult who aim to take over the world.

Order of the Black Eagle is an obvious James Bond rip off, but with a Neo-Nazi twist. It's action scenes are either overdone or just plain lame. It's not a good movie but it's so ridiculous it's worth seeing if you're fascinated by bad movies.

Also you've got to love that melting Hitler puppet! Pure gold!

Imagine that you have a very limited budget and want to make a James Bond-like film. And, because you have no money, you need to get 3rd rate unknown actors, cheap props and a no-name director. And, you'll have "The Order of the Black Eagle"...a terrible film in most every way. One of the most serious problems about the film is that instead of a sexy spy hero, we have a guy with a receding hairline who looks like a tax accountant--and who tries to score with women who aren't particularly attractive. To make up for this, they had the brilliant idea of giving this super-hero (Duncan Jax) a baboon sidekick--one that makes lot of rude gestures to try to distract everyone from how dumb the film is.

Speaking of dumb. The plot of this film is essentially that of "They Saved Hitler's Brain". However, instead of just saving Mr. H's head, these Neo-Nazis have preserved his entire body and plan to rejuvenate him and start the Fourth Reich in South America!! You can't get a sillier plot than this but combining it with bad acting, writing that THOUGHT is was very clever but wasn't and cheese, you get a dumb film that MIGHT be of interest to bad movie fans but to no one else.

Apparently, they made a sequel, but I don't think I'll bother.

What were they thinking when this film was made? My only hope was that tongue was firmly planted in cheek. If not, then this movie is pretty bad. Chock full of cliche's, this James Bond wannabe has got it all and more. You know you have a winner, when Duncan Jax is introduced to his support team and they all have descriptive nicknames (e.g. Blade is the knife expert, Wires - explosive expert, Crusher - the big bruiser, etc...). My favorite scene is during the raid on the neo-Nazi camp (Nazis are important for this kind of film) and one of the Nazis rides an ATV behind a tent, there are sounds of bones breaking and the Nazi flies out in front of the tent and lands of the ground, then one of our heroes rides out from behind the tent on the ATV and for good measure runs over the Nazi's head. How could someone write this with a straight face. I won't even mention some of the other hilarious scenes but if you can find this on late cable or satellite (I don't think this film merits a trip to the video store) consider watching it.

This is a movie so bad it's actually thoroughly entertaining. It's a sub-James Bond movie with all the clichés and none of the brains. You want a suave spy? You have got him in Duncan Jax, though you have to take his baboon sidekick and his receding hairline, too. You want a damsel in distress? You've got her in Tiffany Youngblood, though she's not that attractive. You want grossly underwhelming adversaries? The Order of the Black Eagle gives you neo-Nazis led by the Baron - think overweight Perry Mason with an eye patch - trying to revive Hitler and destroying the world with a laser. Ooooooooh! You want an amusing sidekick? Sorry, all we've got is a supposedly humorous baboon.

The Order of the Black Eagle is perfect for homemade, Mystery Science Theater 3000 style riffing. Invite some funny friends, grab some popcorn, and watch this wonderful mess.

Daniel J. Roos film.ispwn.com

In today's world, there's little you can trust. But this film's cover tells its story perfectly.

You see a balding James Bond wannabe flanked by two women who would be gorgeous under the right light... and by his side is a baboon in a tuxedo.

Okay, so the plot is muddled and poorly thought out. The dialog is incompetent, and at some point, the writers seem to have given up trying to tell a story and invited friends over to make up the rest of the script.

I can ignore all of that in a movie where a baboon actually does wear a tuxedo, where the baboon starts up the hero's airplane (okay, ultralight glider, but close enough) and where a baboon drives his own tank.

Sure, the South American Nazi stuff is poorly tacked on an nonsensical. It doesn't matter. A baboon is driving a tank.

This is not something to watch with an eye for subtext, plot or even basic thrills. It's a movie to watch with a bunch of people willing to laugh at a ridiculous spectacle. I hope that's what the producers had in mind.