Vercingétorix, la légende du druide roi

Rather than bash what has already been destroyed by the filmakers, I just recommend anyone who would see Druids solely as a Lambert fan to save their time.

This film has all the look and feel of a college, maybe highschool film project.

I've seen 18 of Lambert's movies; a number of them over again; and this one (which for some odd reason took a month to be available in my local video store because of rentals on it) I fell asleep during at 9 o'clock at night!! There was not one redeeming thing to this film, let alone the cheap wigs and fake moustaches, Klaus Maria Brandauer doing Julius Caeser and sounding like Marlon Brando in the Young Lions as a Nazi officer, and the intro and exit with the view from space that looked like the schlock film "Hercules goes to New York" with Arnold Schwarznegger back in the early 70's.

If you haven't seen it, save your rental fee...they must have burned theaters in Europe when it came out.

Sorry, Christophe...

Since the movie had the title "Druids," I was pleasantly surprised to find that the story was fairly historically accurate. That does not make it a good movie, though. It still pretty much stinks. Almost everyone in the technical credits had names that ended in "...ov." Were they all Russians? I thought this was a French - Canadian production.

Much as I generally enjoy watching good old Mr. Lambert messing about in the usual mindless, middle-of-the-road sci-fi shenanigans that he likes to frequent, I get no satisfaction whatsoever from seeing him jump up and down violently on what's left of his career in a sick-makingly irredeemable cinematic dog such as this.

Like so many reviewers before me, I just don't know where to begin.

Let's see: a shockingly bad soundtrack, editing the likes of which I've never seen, pointless, half-finished subplots, props and costumes that look like they were bought from the joke shop down the road (well, from some comedian in the nearest Bulgarian farming village, anyway), the criminal comparison to Braveheart on the video sleeve, dialogue that makes Hellgate and Slugs sound like they were written by David Mamet, and the most Austrian Austrian they could find to star as the most Roman Roman of all time, Caesar. Worst of all, the "kill me now" plea so obvious in Mr. Lambert's eyes (when you can see them through the hair) from start through to merciful finish.

Easily the worst film I've seen for years. And in the last few years I've seen Octopus, Spiders, Spiders 2, Ripper, Bats, Turbulence 3 and Deathstalker IV. Somebody tell Christopher Lambert that it's not funny any more.

The English title itself is stupid and misleading.

Unfortunately it should have been the story of Vercingetorix, King of the Gauls, but it falls short in its intent. Although the Cast is hard-working and professional the movie is a weak action-adventure nonsense. If you compare it to "Gladiator" it pales and fades away into nothingness.

My supposition being, that it was conceived for a TV audience and probably was intended as a mini-series (a 2x90min. TV movie), in which case some silent and motionless scenes could be explained away as being the remnants of what should have been an interesting plot-twist of the longer version, and instead some battle scenes (some of which we might never know to which battlefield they would belong... must have been a director's afterthought just to bring life to an otherwise boring film) could have been better organized to follow the plot.

"Braveheart" and "Gladiator" it ain't. What remains is oblivion.

Poor Vercingetorix, had he lived to watch this, he would have hunted down the director rather than Julius Caesar. The French didn't honor much their hero this time...

Now I'm a great fan of historical epics, and I am willing to forgive a lot of historical inaccuracies in the name of cinematic expediency, especially with regard to a Celtic hero like Vercingetorix. However, as with all truly bad films, this film really can't decide what it wants to be. It makes a game attempt at historical accuracy (at least history according to Ceasar which is all we have to go on) by portraying Vercingetorix as someone who is willing to deal with the enemy then betray them, and there are some scenes such as the breast-baring women distracting the Romans which have a basis in writings of the time. OK - I'd be willing to forgive the historically inaccurate (and very un-scary) German connection until... ...we see Vercingetorix chatting with busty druidesses and gaining a magic sword and magic powers which he proceeds to twirl around faster than is humanly possible. Err, OK - so it wants to be a fantasy film. In which case why set it in a real historical time period with so many real events to build off - just go all out like Conan and be done with it. I mean - if he has magical power he should win at the end right?

The film proceeds to both destroy history and ruin one's enjoyment of all fantasy films with ruthless efficiency. So thats the screenplay written off, but perhaps it can be saved by some good performances?

Lambert. Never before has there been an actor made entirely of wood. Does this man have more than one facial expression carved on his trunk? Ceasar was passable, but lets face it, if he wants to make a name for himself by playing famous Romans he is in for a long wait for that phone call. The rest of the cast act like, and probably are, extras. Good for them for getting some face time I say.

OK - so the screenplay and acting are garbage. Perhaps the action and/or special effects can save the film. Err. No. Sorry. Joan of Arc and Gladiator-style battle scenes this does not have. I'm willing to even cut it some slack for its obviously low budget, but even taking that into account its a non-starter.

When you truly feel you could have made a better film with claymation figures and a shoebox camera then something is very very wrong indeed. However that is not the end of it. The awful, choppy editing and lack of timing and pacing combined with everything else makes for a truly painful viewing experience, one of the worst in my living memory. It is this which turns a merely bland and boring film into a bottom-100 dweller.

If the real Vercingetorix saw this he'd fall on his sword. Nul points as they say at Eurovision.