Velvet Smooth

The fun, shorter, rifftrax version is on pluto channel. And the less edited, regular version showing on roku channel. Johnnie hill is velvet smooth... the only role she ever did! When someone starts taking their payoff money, the gang goes to a detective agency to get answers. Which is what you do, when someone steals your gang's money! I guess. And of course, bodies start piling up, and the coppers take about three minutes to investigate, then take off. The run time is listed as ninety three minutes in imdb. The pluto version is only seventy four minutes, but on roku, it's ninety three minutes. Pretty big differences. All kinds of cussing, so it wasn't the swears that were cut out on pluto. Lots of badly choreographed gang fight scenes in parking lots. The actors mostly stand around, and sometimes walk to the center and fake fight someone. You'll see rené van clief , who was also in dolemite! Filmed in brooklyn, according to imdb. The picture quality is pretty rough on pluto. For most of the film, there are tiny residual marks of film decay in most of the screen. But they have been cleaned up on roku! Directed by michael fink. One of the two films he directed. And now we know why. It's so bad. No wonder rifftrax mocked it. Certainly interesting as a blacksploitation film from the 1970s.

Mega-gangster King Lathrop (Owen Watson) is being hit, and hit hard. Somebody's moving in on his action, and roughing up his customers. King calls in VELVET SMOOTH (Johnnie Hill) to make things happen. Ms. Smooth gets her crew together, including Frankie (Rene Van Clief).

Let the throw-down showdown begin!

See! A dozen masked thugs karate kicked to near extinction!

Watch! As their manhood is put into critical condition!

Velvet and Frankie are taking out the trash!

VELVET SMOOTH is another "urban" crime-thriller from the 1970's. While it's not at the bottom of the barrel, it's certainly no COFFY or CLEOPATRA JONES, either. It does have that funky 70's charm going on.

Yes, Ms. Hill speaks as though she's still rehearsing her lines, but hey! She's awesome! Looking good in red! Especially when she's kicking major felonious buttocks! Sure, the fight choreography is a bit south of TNT JACKSON, but hey! Velvet is Smooooth! Even when the microphone is in plain view, like a character in itself!

Right on!

EXTRA POINTS FOR: The theme song! "Outta Sight" doesn't even begin to describe it!...

When people talk about this genre Velvet Smooth is rarely mentioned, however with the recent re-release this may change.

Despite being in full HD the transfer suffers from what looks like a lava eruption on the screen all the way through.

The selling point of this movie is the hysterically funny fight scenes, of which there are many. Everyone in this movie does terrible karate. Its as if everyone in this city has been compelled to take bad karate classes or they ain't allowed out of the house.

The reason for so much fighting is to do with some crime syndicate who basically go around bashing people up in hilarious ways while funny sound effects play.

There is the obvious funk soundtrack of this movie however during fight scenes it breaks down into a complete racket.

This is one of those female led movies so expect to see one woman beating up twenty huge men who all take turns to attack her and only jump in when its their turn.

There is a Kojack look a like in this, Ko-Jim maybe?

If MST3K havent touched this yet I would be surprised, its definitely the same standard as Guy From Harlem.

Recommended if you can find a copy and want a great laugh.

This is one of the weaker Blaxploitation films made in the 70's. Production value? Well, I have seen student films with better attention to detail. The acting is not any better. The music isn't too bad and unfortunately one of the only good things about this film.

If you are dedicated to the Genre, then you have to see it. Otherwise you aren't going to miss anything. They took the formula approach and it shows. You can't take any of these movies too seriously, but you can pass on this one.

See: Three the Hardway, Blackula, Superfly, Shaft or Detroit 9000.

OK, I believe an in-depth analysis is not exactly necessary for this one. Its only value is in the unintentional laughs it has to offer. The martial-arts choreography is a disgrace to the words "martial" and "arts". The girls may be sexy and smooth, but I'm sorry, a weekend's training in combat is just not enough. The stuntmen are a joke. The fights are slow, clunky, and graceless. "T.N.T Jackson" has better fight scenes than "Velvet Smooth". Peter Sellers and Burt Kwouk have better fight scenes in the "Pink Panther" films. "Benny Hill" has better fight scenes - wait, "Benny Hill" has no fight scenes, I just got carried away by all the sped-up action. Well, you get the idea anyway. I think 0.5 out of 4 stars is a fair enough grade.