Ninja Busters

Came out the same year as Ghostbusters, hence the title. You have to be in the right mood to watch a movie this bad., it makes Chuck Norris' worst film look like Oscar movie of the year, so bad, it's good, but only barely.

Ninja Busters is a super rare ninja movie. It's a buddy movie about two douche bags who can't get laid and then join a martial arts club. Then they uncover a drug deal gone bad and they battle the stupid ninjas..... blah blah blah. Don't expect blood and gore or dismemberment like you normally would in a ninja movie. This is a family film. Well sort of. Though it lacks the bloody violence that makes any normal person complacent, it is a rather entertaining piece of $#!+. The buddy crap works, the fights are fun and it has charm and cute $#!+! The end.

Recently I've been watching a lot of so-bad-they're-good movies with mixed results, however it must be said that Ninja Busters is pure gold. Go online and read about the recent re-discovery of this film as it's a compelling story. I'll skip the plot as you can seek this out for yourself. All I really have to say is this movie really works. It's generally funny when it's supposed to be, it's very funny when it's not supposed to be, and has a plot that doesn't go off the rails leaving you wondering what the heck is happening. BONUS the movie contains an army of ninjas-for-hire who are made out to be badasses by a dragon lady who manages her ninja bodyguard agency. A crime lord somehow gets duped into hiring them but in the first all-out brawl it seems clear that these are the WORST g*ddamned ninjas EVER! These guys obviously have day jobs and then hardcore phone-it-in during ninja practice after work. So crime lord gets scammed, but somehow never realizes that his army of ninjas is getting trampled, at one point, by a lady with a white belt in karate. For those of you unfamiliar to martial arts, that's like your three-year-old beating you in an arm wrestling match. By the end of the movie no heros go down but like 60 ninjas are in ICU or dead. Suffice it to say it's rad, and the most enjoyable example of relatively family friendly WTF-ery i've seen in some time. Get a copy today because this is something you have to see with your buddies over a few beers more than once!

This movie has more of an identity crisis than a teenager in a North American high school. The opening is hilariously bad trying to introduce the actor(s) as if any of them are seriously going to have careers after this... better yet an audience of this shoe string budgeted movie. One moment we think it's going to be a ninja movie, the next minute a comedy... could it be both? Sure it's been done before. However this would mean that either the fights would have to be choreographed way better or the jokes had to make us laugh. I'm wondering if this was just some rich guys vanity project. Usually I go out of my way to find movies like this where they are "so bad they are good" but this one is just bad.

The music is terrible. Chic was absolutely the worst cast of anyone in this "movie", the problem is that he looks like most peoples father in the 80s, not some martial arts expert or action hero. He seemed like he was wearing a wig in it. I find it more easier to believe two students waited 3 years to fight each other than his hairline and I'm too lazy to google the actor. Both Chic and Bernie look about twice all the girls ages that they are flirting with, they are like Beavis And Butthead but unlike those two these guys are just extremely obnoxious and stupid. I wonder how much of the script was written with the aid of Colombian nose candy because I don't think anyone sober (or sane) could write this train wreck. Not a single actor in this is memorable and I'd be embarrassed to say I was a part of this.

Were all the ninjas that allegedly trained since the age of 5 all trained at a Mcdojo and not a real dojo by some shyster. Most just ran up to people waving weapons around and were essentially bullet sponges.

If you're here for ninja fighting action skip to about 50 something minutes in. I don't get it. Was this supposed to be a family comedy where it's fun and clean enough for anyone who didn't know any better to watch? Why a 2 star? Sadly I finished it, it had somewhat of a plot too.

I stumbled upon the 1984 movie "Ninja Busters" here in 2021. And never having seen it or even heard about it, of course I sat down to watch it. Especially since I was a kid during the 1980s, so I watched a bunch of those good, old, cheesy ninja movies from the 1980s. So of course I had to watch "Ninja Busters" as well.

And while "Ninja Busters" is watchable, I must admit that I was expecting it a bit more in the comedy department, since the movie was listed as being an action comedy. There were odd bits and pieces of attempted comedy here and there, but nothing that made me laugh.

The storyline is pretty straight forward, although rather simplistic. But I suppose that writers Sid Campbell and William C. Martell made an appropriate enough movie for 1984.

As for the action in the movie, well it was archetypical 1980s cheese. Of course it was. And that is what made the movie watchable and bearable to sit through.

The acting in the movie was lukewarm, dubious at times, but it was adequate enough for a movie such as this, I suppose. At least it felt consistent with the tone of the movie and the way it was portrayed on the screen.

Then there is the action sequences. Yeah, I am sure that they looked great back in 1984, but in 2021 then it was just a tad too staged and rigidly choreographed, lacking the fluidity of natural movements during fighting. Well, it was watchable and enjoyable enough, but don't go expecting a grand spectacle of martial arts here.

All in all, "Ninja Busters" is enjoyable enough for what it turned out to be, a mediocre mid-1980s cheesy action comedy. My rating of director Paul Kyriazi's 1984 movie lands on a mediocre five out of ten stars.