666 moh gwai fuk wut

This weirdo Hong Kong offering is a strange amalgamation of the traditional kung fu movie, the outrageous Chinese horror yarn and the typical 'edgy' dark thriller, so popular in the '90s in the advent of SE7EN and THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. The latter two movies are directly referenced in this mix-up of a movie, which throws in a little bit of all genres to keep things entertaining – the only thing missing is typical Cat III style sex and nudity. Instead, we get a bizarre, barely-makes-sense kind of plot involving an evil cult (or man) named Judas, who's convinced that a female police officer is the daughter of Satan. Lots of chases down rain-washed alleyways and kung-fu action ensue, along with some light gun battles and an over-the-top finale which is worth the wait.

Chingamy Yau is the attractive girl who just might be the daughter of Satan, and tends to get caught up in lots of weird visions and sees herself with horns in the mirror. Stealing his scenes is one Donnie Yen as the ultra-cool bespectacled police officer, an extremely violent man who shows off his martial arts skills in a handful of decent fights. Altogether the pacing of this film is slow and it tends to be a case of style over substance, with not much in the way of drama or action unfolding despite the relative excitement that the plot promises. It actually tends to be a low budget kind of movie, with the only big-style action at the end, complete with chainsaws, crucifixions and explosions. It's worth the wait. Something else worth waiting for are the hilariously incorrect English subtitles, which turn many mundane moments into comedy situations.

Hyped as China's "answer" to Fincher's SEVEN; there's a scene where The Law run down a rain-soaked alley, a killer making use of a Biblical Motive and - well, that's about where the "connection" ends. Occult Scholar (??) seeks series of women with 6/6/69 birthdates in order to remove their hearts - any victim who survives the surgery, proves herself to be The Devil's Daughter. Usual HK buffet: martial arts (snore...), slapstick, noxious women, and, when all else fails, throw in some genital humour. It must be said, that zombie cops cut apart via chainsaw & a nailgun crucifixion are a tad more exciting than Paltrow's head in a box. Plus, a bonus "shock" ending. Basically, a feature length indictment of Chinese Law Enforcement. As one subtitled villain quips "Damn It! Go Eat S***!" Translation: rent a Cat III title instead.

Now Hong Kong action movies are my one true cinematic blind spot, so I approached 'Satan Returns' with trepidation. I thought I would give it a look as it seemed it might be a slightly offbeat mix of Woo/Lam style cops'n'chops with a supernatural thriller theme. While I ended up hating this movie a lot less than I expected I still found it to be silly in the extreme, and pretty tiresome overall. The plot is incoherent nonsense about a religious nut called Judas attempting to find the Devil's daughter, and makes no real sense whatsoever. The only thing that kept me watching this to the very end was the the lovely Chingmy Yau of 'Naked Killer' fame, and some of the unintentionally funny sub-titles. Apart from that there isn't all that much to recommend this movie, and beware, the 'Se7en' comparisons are way off base, and extremely misleading.

Satan Returns ("starring the babe from Naked Killer!" screams the tag-line) is very clearly modelled on Se7en: the dark, jumpy look-and-feel is faithfully reproduced. At one point, a character suggests that the killer has "seen Se7en". But the similarity ends there. Satan Returns is a film that could only ever be produced in Hong Kong: it is a demonic thriller featuring kung-fu, gunfights, sex, zombies, and the kitchen sink. It's all very entertaining (although ludicrous) stuff. At times, it even manages to be scary. See it to believe it.

This Hong Kong film combines horror and cop genres as a killer, going by the name of Judas, is targeting women born on the 6th of June 1969. He believes that the Devil's daughter was born on that day and the only way to identify which woman born on that day is the Antichrist is to cut out their hearts and see which one still lives. Ching, a beautiful officer in the Royal Hong Kong Police Force, was born on that date and has been having recurring nightmares about the crimes... before the first body is found. Judas starts contacting her, telling her that she is Satan's daughter. Officers Nam and Ka-ming are put in charge of the case and quickly realise that the killer is inspired by the Book of Revelations.

I rather enjoyed this film; I particularly liked how it combined horror and cop genres. It is clearly inspired stylistically by 'Seven'... something acknowledged by a character; it may not be as technically good as that film but it is perhaps more enjoyable. This is because there is a fair amount of humour and quite a bit of action; sometimes at the same time. The story is solid enough for the genre. Actress Chingamy Yau, does a fine job as Ching, Donnie Yen impresses as Nam and Francis Ng is good as bad guy Judas. The action scenes are enjoyable and a bit gory at times but not excessively so. Overall I'd say that this is not a film to be taken seriously but it is fun enough; I'd certainly recommend it to fans of horror movies who also enjoy Hong Kong cinema.

These comments are based on watching the film in Cantonese with (poor) English subtitles... strangely the version I saw also had Chinese subtitles which I couldn't turn off!