The Jupiter Menace

If you like watching UNSOLVED MYSTERIES, IN SEARCH OF series with Leonard Nimoy, or these kind of shows seen on TLC, you'll probably like THE JUPITER MENACE. The events they say will occur never happened in real life but that doesn't mean the film doesn't contain some interesting bits of information or ideas, most of which have been widely copied ever since. Because of the overall familiarity of the subject, I'd say that TJM is probably the most ripped-off movies of all time. And yet, few people know about it. It is very obscure.

Best-selling author Graham Hancock and his books about ancient civilizations predicting the end of the world, world wide cataclysmic events, the poles shifting, Antarctica, etc, basically took his ideas from this pseudo-documentary. Seriously, Hancock became a millionaire by little or no research. He just watched THE JUPITER MENACE.

Anyway, I love watching obscure movies and this one is really obscure. I only heard about this 20 year old movie in the past couple of weeks. I always keep an open mind with these kind of pseudo-scientific films. It's always easy for me to overlook the silly stuff and simply keep the really interesting ideas. And THE JUPITER MENACE does have a lot of interesting things about it amidst the goofier stuff. Also, on a sociological level, it's an interesting time capsule. I didn't regret buying the video on eBay.

And it just gets better with age, The Music is so bad it's good, the acting is so bad it's good and the plot....well. it seems that it was put together by a random plot generator, or rather a random conspiracy generator. The start is promising enough, some nice model work, a cool synthesizer re-working of Holst's Mars the bringer of war, a pre-credit sequence where some guy gets his heart cut out. Then George Kennedy pops up in a safari suit and it all goes to pot. The Bible prophecies? Emerging science? Psychics the world over? What does it all mean and what does it have to do with Jupiter and why is it so menacing? I don't think it's a spoiler to say, you never find out. A quasi biblical scene seems to arrive from another movie, not actually an account from any part of the bible but an amalgam of a few with a nameless prophet and a craven idol, it seems to be making a point….but you never find out what that might be. Then George comes back to tell us about more biblical prophecy that probably won't come true…..then oh then….The guy who programmed the bible into this Micro-bee and then the computer told him that the world would end, by an earthquake, so cool. I must say that the planet fly-bys are very good especially for the time. Worth watching if just for the Psychic's moustache and the amazing prediction and simulation of an earthquake in a computer….before that was possible.

One hopes that George Kennedy was either well paid or was unaware of the full intent of those behind "The Jupiter Menace." In his defense, Kennedy appears only a few times throughout this "documentary" and doesn't embarrass himself to any great extent. Among the crop of Bigfoot, Bermuda Triangle, and UFO "documentaries" made in the 1970s and into the '80s, "Jupiter Menace" is a real gem. The film reveals its dire message that an alignment of planets in the, then near future, 1982 will start a period of turmoil on Earth that will reach its peak in 2000 causing a basic end of the world as we know it. The film is a prime example of this silly scare genre and includes goofy re-enactments and interviews with "experts" that are taking facts from Bible prophecy and/or psychic visions. Certainly more amusing today, now that we've passed all the dates foretold in the movies as being doomsday, this movie will entertain those curious. Particularly fun is the near-guarantee given by nearly everyone interviewed in the film that May 5th, 2000 is the certain end of the happy existence we've enjoyed on planet Earth. Also fun and equally frightening are the interviews with survivalists in the Ozarks and Illinois that are preparing to survive the deadly days ahead of us all in the 1980s. One must wonder, where are those folks now??? Sadly, they're likely still packed away in a bunker somewhere! :)

Although the content of the movie itself is a bit on the lame side (though quite amusing), the soundtrack is a real treat for those who have an ear for early electronic music. It is performed by Synergy (Larry Fast), who produced several cutting-edge electronic music albums starting in the mid-70's. You can still find CD's of this soundtrack and Synergy's other works if you search the internet. I recently picked up an autographed copy of this soundtrack CD for the same price as what you'd pay for a regular disc at the local record store. Google "the artist shop" if you're interested (this is not an advertisement, but I personally have been very satisfied with all of my purchases there).

Dear George, why did you star in this … production? What were you on? What did the producers have on you?

I saw JM for sale for $5 at my local discount DVD store weeks ago and avoided purchasing it for fear that it would be utter @&$#. Last week I relented and purchased it instead of a Big Mac ™ and Fries ™. I am so glad I did!

George Kennedy narrates this quazi documentary with a look of perpetual horror on his face. Understandably he would have been terrified of family members and friends viewing him making an idiot out of himself.

JM is an astounding mix of religious rantings and questionable scientific evidence. Strange psychics, gun-tottin' survivalists and neo-christian lunatics are all interviewed about their ‘theories' about the end of the world. Some of these ‘people' are seriously insane.

For lovers of the truly bizarre, I highly recommend JM. It is one of the strangest shows I have ever seen. I'm actually wondering whether the film is actually a serious documentary or a clever and convincing spoof about the lunatic fringe.

JM is a fantastic film to watch with friends. Guaranteed to make you laugh, make you gasp, make you cry: What the?!

6/10