Icebreaker

I'm glad this was the only thing on when I was attempting to avoid being responsible...I couldn't stomach much more than five minutes of it (so I got back to work...boo hoo...) though I left it playing just to remind myself of what a real piece of cinematic trash looks like.

I'd like to know who financed this since I could use a loan for a real movie ha! ha! The acting stinks. The plot is retarded and I mean just what is the point? I like Bruce Campbell and Sean Astin and know both of them have done some cheesy work, but I would have to be paid a lot of money to save my shame and embarrassment on this one. It's one thing if a movie is meant to be cheesy, but for some reason, I get the impression that this one was meant to be taken seriously. Yeah, I'd show off my snowboarding skills if I were being chased by someone intent on killing me...I mean I am that good. Of course the thug chasing Sean Astin was doing helicopters too, as if they were choreagraphed by someone in junior high school...

What a waste. I pity the fool who thinks this was a worthy work.

This film is made by the same guy who made the infamous film, Time Chasers which was a great episode of MST3K. It is nice to see he continued to make films and to see that he has significantly improved since his time traveling film. I think he also did a large spider film that also was much better than Time Chasers. That being said, it is still pretty much a bad film, but it was a rather fun bad movie to watch as the film that is being copied in this one is Die Hard and maybe through in a dash of Cliffhanger.

The story has two dudes flying a plane with some sort of stuff on it that is radioactive. For some reason, the pilot decides to auger the plane down into the countryside; however, the other person who likes mango jam is still alive, that is until bald Bruce Campbell kills him! Soon, he and his super group of terrorist take over a ski lodge while Sean Astin finds the package the guy wants and he somehow has to save the day by not doing a very good job. Then again, the FBI guys do an even more terrible job trying to stop the terrorist and Sean is just a guy who finds people on the mountain and they are actual cops.

The film could have been better with more action, but the action scenes with the exception of the last one are short lived. Something you would expect from a movie that probably does not have a very big budget. Then again, who would expect them to be able to procure the talents of Sean Astin, Bruce Campbell and Stacy Keach? They are not just cameo roles either, they are all in this film a significant amount of time.

So, not that great, but still an entertaining film nonetheless. Still not sure what Bruce Campbell's ultimate goal was or if he was really as close to death as they made him out to be or if it was really his birthday. Also, not sure how they got power back on as they blew up one power station, sawed through wires and ripped wires out of a pole. I mean, a tree falls on the lines where I am and the crap can be out for seven or eight hours!

I'm a sucker for a cast of known faces in a b-movie or such, but there's limits. 'Icebreaker' is an awful Die Hard clone that can't even do the formula justice as the main trio of names appear very little and then only to chew on poor dialog. It doesn't have the right pedigree to be a rewarding "bad" movie too.

Matt Foster (Sean Astin) is a Ski Patrol employee with a fiancée who comes from money whom the dad (Stacy Keach) thinks is not worthy of her. So what a break when a plane crash lands nearby the resort with stolen nuclear material onboard. Terrorist Carl Greig (Bruce Campbell) sends in his men to retrieve it before taking over the place as both the fiancée and her dad become hostages allowing Matt to save the day.

In a project I'd be surprised took longer than a week to shoot the story moves like a snail for the first two thirds. We're talking about needless scenes, characters, poor CGI and bad humor. Campbell in particular looks bored throughout. Rocking a bald head the most interesting thing about his character by far. Keach is playing a generic role and Astin is not believable as an action star. Try to suspend your disbelief especially when his stunt doubles take over later.

'Icebreaker' has a finale that is the best part by far, but not enough to salvage this. It made me think of better action flicks that take place in the snow like the opening to 'True Lies' or 'Die Hard 2' to hit the nail on the head. Largely a bore, people fawning over the cast overvalue how much these guys get paid.

The plot in Icebreaker is such a mess that it doesn't merit much discussion. A group of terrorists descend on a Vermont ski resort looking for a downed plane carrying a nuclear device. In the end, however, the nuclear device is all but an afterthought as the head baddie sets his sights on the lesser goal of blowing up a ski gondola with one person on board. Ski patrol member Matt is on the case to stop the terrorists and save his fiancé (who is quite naturally the person on the gondola).

How in the name of all that is Holy did the makers of Icebreakers get a cast that includes Sean Astin, Stacy Keach, and Bruce Campbell? Were these guys that hard-up for work? Do they enjoy skiing so much that a free weekend on the slopes of Killington was enough to entice them? Did the producers have compromising photos? I just don't get it. Astin may be a good actor, but he's not my image of an action hero. When I think of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, and Rob Van Dam - Sean Astin is not the next name that comes to mind. Stacy Keach phones in his performance from the State line. It's obvious he has no interest in Icebreakers. As for Campbell, as much as I love him, not even he can save this thing. Bruce's charm, so evident in the Evil Dead Series or Brisco County or even Burn Notice, is not here. Like Keach, he doesn't look overly interested in the project.

But the acting's not the problem - it's the muddled plot. I watched the whole thing and still have no idea what was motivating the terrorists. They want the nuclear device simply because that's what a terrorist would do. The take-over of the ski resort seemed so unnecessary. Their plan had not gone so off-track that they still couldn't have secretly gotten their weapon and disappeared. Why bring so much attention to their activities? The answer - it's in the script. The whole thing this is a complete mess. Character motivation in Icebreakers makes absolutely no sense.

I'll give Icebreakers a generous 3/10.

Let me start off by saying I am a huge Bruce Campbell fan. Almost everything he does is great entertainment. Things that come to mind are Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness, Brisco County, Xena, and even Jack of All Trades.

So when I saw Icebreaker was playing on Showtime, I thought it might be fun. I was disappointed. I am no movie critic, so let me just describe the movie as bad. Now, some Bruce Campbell movies, like Evil Dead II, are so bad that they are hilarious, and that makes them good. Icebreaker is just plain bad. The plot is silly, the dialog is uninspired, and even the action is tedious, that is, unless you really like skiing and machine guns.

It is a shame, because it looked like Icebreaker had a decent budget. I got the impression that about halfway through, everyone realized it was a dud, but they had no choice but to finish it. Next time, someone needs to read the script before they start shooting.