Demolition University

Demolition University, a movie with very little demolition and five minutes of university. But we get plenty of Corey Haim.

The story is relatively straightforward. An American football player (Corey Haim) fails to catch a ball. Understandably, his angry team mates are enraged and decide to beat him up. However, they are prevented from doing so because they have to go and take a shower. After the lads have freshened up they chase Corey onto a yellow bus where he, the love-interest-girl and chief jock-baddie go on a field trip to a power plant. Unbeknownst to Corey and the gang, this power plant has been taken over by a renegade special forces soldier and a group of over-acting Arab terrorists. This ultimately leads to a game of cat and mouse between the terrorists, police and Corey Haim. At the centre of the chaos is a small glass jar of toxic liquid.

This is not a great film, in fact it could be argued that this is a rubbish film. If you are going to have any hope of enjoying this you will need to look out for the little details. For example, there is one terrorist in a checked shirt who I shall refer to as Shouting Man. Shouting Man appears to be unable to pull the trigger of his assault rifle without shouting very very loudly. Watch him. It's hysterical. He's an idiot.

Robert Forster turns up and sleepwalks through his performance. I guess he needed money for a new shed. Corey Haim tries his best but unfortunately he is Corey Haim. And he is clearly lost without Feldman. Although the relationship between Haim and the bad-jock reminded me of the chemistry between Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer in Top Gun. I was massively disappointed that they didn't use the line 'you can be my quarterback'.

Strictly for die-hard Haimsters.

I am a die hard Corey Haim fan, but this movie was the absolute pits. I found it online for like 4 bucks, so I bought it. If you like corey haim, then watch it. Also Ami Dolenz is quite good looking, but those are the only two factors you should take into consideration when thinking about renting/buying this flick. The dialogue is bad, the acting is bad, the script is horrible. I wonder how much actors like corey haim get paid for this type of garbage.

Demolition University is one of those films that is so close to the facts that you feel like you're being given a counter-terrorism lecture. Here are some of the facts covered in the film:

• Nerve gas that could kill the whole world is protected by a handful of poorly armed men, one of whom is considered to be an extreme megalomaniac psychopath.

• Universities have bright yellow school buses, which they take to Physics field trips.

• Universities have organised dances, and taking the cutest girl in your class is the most important thing.

• That nerve gas multiplies infinitely when put in water. Stuff like this exists, apparently.

• When a building has a self-destruct option, it means "set off cheap explosives and fires outside the building". The director will pan up in an attempt to disguise the fact that the building was not touched.

• Terrorists drive a motor-home, and an old one at that. Let's call it the Terrormobile.

• Six terrorists is about the right number to secure a number of hostages and a water treatment plant.

• When you shoot someone in the head, and they have a hardhat on, the hardhat goes flying about 15 feet, then spins for about 20 seconds.

• Terrorists cannot shoot. At all. They probably couldn't hit the Terrormobile from 50 feet. Then again, the US military can't shoot straight either.

• The temperature of something in the water treatment plant will go from 100 to 300 in two seconds, but will stick at 300 for about 25 minutes. Without going any higher. Then it will magically jump up to 400 in another two second patch.

• When bullets hit the side of a van, they just disintegrate into sparks. Without leaving a mark.

• Armed terrorists following orders to kill someone would rather chase someone than shoot them, even if they're only 15 feet behind them. Then again, judging by how poor they are at shooting, it's not overly surprising they'd rather run after them.

• Psychological profiles contain every single piece of information on the person imaginable, except information that might actually be required/useful.

• The US gives in to terrorist demands.

• A quarterback who can't throw straight gets his hands on a beaker of nerve gas. He'll throw it inside a water treatment plant - despite pipes and machines being everywhere - on the off chance that a guy who can't catch a football will safely catch a delicate glass beaker.

• Telling a girl that she "can make it" means she'll run faster than ever before.

• AK-47s are never used as automatic weapons. Ever.

I bought this on DVD today because it was discounted to 50 cents and it was something I hadn't seen before. Now I know why it was so cheap. Horrible daytime TV acting and plot. Totally unbelievable. I wish I hadn't wasted my 50 cents.

I caught this thing on TV the other night... Some cable channel while I was channel surfing.... it kind of caught my eye.... but then it turned my stomach.... Talk about bad.... and that's not the 'good' kind of bad (like M Jackson used to say "I'm Bad!")....

Starts off with a decent premise of a story - kids going on a school science outing get involved in a terrorist plot against the US and against their fair city.... Kids find way to thwart plan with some minor outside help.

The film even offers a bit of eye candy, with hunky actors and sexy actresses in some of the roles....

However, those are the ONLY good points to this piece of ... bad cheese....

Where they could have REALLY gone someplace with this stinker, they didn't.... Too many technical and continuity issues abound....

one of the most glaring is that these are all supposed to be COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY level students in a PHYSICS class... So, why do they all act like a bunch of high school sophomores? Why are the 2 male leads more interested in dating the female lead at a DANCE?!? Hell, when I was in college - our dances were far less a social event then they were just a gathering of dance kids.... Plus, if this was a junior college (which is what it seems like), there wouldn't really be some organized dance/social event like that.... And, if it was a normal private or state university, there'd be a lot more of the frat/sorority type of life....

The dialog was just horrible and cheesy and cheap... needs a LOT of work... and the acting?!? C'mon! I've seen better acting and cared more about the characters in a PORN, fer cryin' out loud!

As for continuity errors - they abound - with the first (or many) being the supposedly 'secure' water plant/reservoir that the baddies are taking control of.... First off, I doubt that the plant would be smack dab in the middle of a commercial zone like it appears to be.... watch the scene when the school bus shows up.... it looks like any typical commercial zone in just about any decent sized city....

And, is it a reservoir of a city's water supply? or a power plant? It seems to change between one and the other....

Additionally, why would a college have a bright yellow school bus? Um.... most college kids drive, so they'd probably set up some kind of car pool or something where everybody meets at the location.... And, even if they WERE going to have an organized trip like this, I don't know of a single college that uses they typical yellow school bus.... They'd charter one locally....

Then, there is the fact that the security gate the seems to 'move' from one scene to the next.... when the baddies first show up and kill a guard, they pull straight forward in their motor home (which was a rental unit!) and park and then get out to take over the facility.... But, when the school kids arrive, they pull up towards the motor home - from supposedly the same security gate - and we're looking at the SIDE of the motor home, instead of the back....

Oh, and or course, the ONE and ONLY door that everybody comes and goes from is some metal door with a simple push button combo lock on it.... and it just ISN'T locked any time during the film!

Also, most reservoirs that I've ever seen or been to are located OUTSIDE of the metropolitan area of the city... Mind you, I'm not talking about the rain 'catch basins' that you can see in many cities, but the BIG RESERVOIR that supposedly supplies the ENTIRE CITY'S drinking water... And, they're not USUALLY underground in a tank!

Then, when one of the baddies - the semi leader - shoots one of the water plant's employees in the head from 6 inches away, the employee is being held by another of the bad guys... who miraculously does NOT get hit by any stray bullets or FRAGMENTS OF THE GUY'S SKULL, BRAINS or BLOOD! And, for dramatic effect, they show the guy's hardhat - with just a touch of red blood here and there.... Wow.... Talk about a CLEAN kill!!!!

I could go on and on and on and on and on and... but this isn't worth anymore space...

AVOID THIS TURKEY UNLESS YOU LIKE BORING AND STUPID MOVIES!!!!