Fright House

Fright House isn't a crappy movie. It's two crappy movies in one. The first, called Fright House in a pre-meta meta way, is about devil worshippers covering up suicides. The second, Abaddon, is the worst version of Suspiria ever made. That's not to say that the films aren't without some charm. I just don't want you thinking you're getting Jean Rollin here. Or even Ruggero Deodato.

Let me try and explain what I just watched.

Fright House starts Paul Borghese as Detective Les Morane, a man who just lost his brother to suicide. His brother was a psychic or liked tarot cards or was just weird — it's never really established, but it doesn't matter, because he's dead. However, the longer the film goes on, he more it seems that everyone in town is in on the Satanic cult action, letting family members die to make their lives better. "Grandpa" Al Lewis appears as Captain Levi, pretty much ad-libbing his way through his part. Turns out that he's behind the whole thing, so if you ever wanted to see one of your favorite childhood characters become an evil cult leader, I can point you to this film. There are also a lot of 60's style Satanism scenes, with nude women and pentagrams, if you're into that sort of thing. Yeah, you're into that sort of thing.

Oh — I almost forgot. There's also copious non-Satanic nudity and a scene where frat boys fake a suicide and break into a long acted out sing-a-long of Michael Jackson's "Bad." There are also many digs at psychotherapy and a grave with Jason Vorhees name on it. It's 57 minutes of your life that will feel like 57 hours.

Abaddon was also directed by Len Anthony (Murderous Intent and Vampires). It stars Duane Jones — yes, Ben from Night of the Living Dead and Dr. Hess of Ganga & Hess. He plays either a police detective or a sorcerer. According to an IMDb review, the film was shot at Long Island's SUNY, where Jones taught acting, hence his participation.

Anyways, the film takes place at The Abaddon School (no Tanz Dance Academy, trust me) where people go to learn music. Or sing. Or act. It's never really established. The owner, who no one ever sees, has found the fountain of youth and has to pay a terrible price for it. That price means demonic toilets eat people after they have sex.

Both movies end with a twist so bad that M. Night Shyamalan laughed.

Read more at bandsaboutmovies.com/2017/10/18/fright-house-1989/

It's bad.

Okay so Al Lewis is the best part about this but he isn't in much and while some of the monster effects are nice enough I still can't recommend watching this, even if you like schlocky horror movies.

The only reason I finished it was because I was sick and delirious after I had caught some illness.

Well, no amount of warning is going to keep a bad movie fan from watching this movie but it doesn't hurt to try. Fright House consists of two movies tacked tighter to make one and, while they both offer awful acting, dialogue, camera work, and audio, the second one manages to blow the first one out of the water in terms of shear crapulence and bad writing. The first film is your standard blood cult sacrifice rama-lama-ding-dong that has been done a million times before only better and features a performance by Al Lewis (Grandpa Munster) that makes his performance in Reel Horror look good (and that's no joke). It has a fair amount of nudity but it doesn't help. The second one is an unwatchable, convoluted mess about some college professor who has a machine for eternal youth but you'd barely know it. They were obviously low on footage with actual actors in it so they waste time with shots of statues and tarot cards repeatedly throughout, with dialogue playing in the background that should be attached to scenes with actual characters in order for the film to make sense. The audio mix is beyond crap but, to its credit, the soundtrack music is decent--the one nice thing I can say about this mess. This is low budget trash at its worst and the end result is a film that never should have been inflicted on the public. I love bad movies but this one is a rough ride to be sure.

After the first story of this two part horror flick, the narrator proclaims "No, it's not over yet". But you'll wish it was.

Tale number one is a Satanic snoozefest that makes very little sense. Paul Borghese plays Detective Les Morane who investigates a series of supposed suicides (including that of his brother Carl) that take place on the grounds of the abandoned Vincent's mansion. I can't go into much more detail than that, because I was totally lost not long after it began thanks to the sloppy direction, terrible writing and crap acting. Look out for Al 'Grandpa Munster' Lewis slumming it, lots of mullets, the bizarre moment where a guy suddenly does some standup comedy, the frat boys who play a prank that ends with them singing Michael Jackson's Bad, semi-naked Devil worshippers, and vampire zombies (all of that makes this sound like a lot of fun, but trust me, it isn't).

The second story, Abadon, is set in an art school run by a mysterious woman who uses a strange machine to suck the positive energy from her students and thereby extend her own life. It stars Night of the Living Dead's Duane Jones, who probably wishes he was elsewhere, and features a nonsensical scene where a girl and her boyfriend are sucked into a toilet. Again, don't let that fool you into thinking this is going to be enjoyably daft trash: the writing and direction by Len Anthony is as bad, if not worse than in the first chapter, and the result is an incredibly tedious test of one's patience.

My review was written in November 1989 after watching the program on Studio Entertainment video cassette.

This compilation of two occult horor films on one video (each feature tuncated to about an hour) delivers one goodie and one stiff for genre fans.

First segment, "Fright House", toplines Al Lewis, restarateur of "The Munsters" tv show fame. Film's title is a pun on frat house, and pic is set at a mansion inherited by a college fraternity. Lewis is a police captain whose detective (Paul Borgese) is investigating suspicious suicides on campus, including that of Borgese's brother.

Upshot is that college psychologist (lovely Jennifer Delora) turns out to be hypnotizing the kids, in service of her satanic master.

This feature is an okay mixture of sexploitation and gore, though its climax is hurt by the editing.

Second half of the doubleheader is a mess, simply because the source feature film, "Abadon", was itself a confusin mishmash: in complete form it was releaed under the title "Vampires". The late Duane Jones toplines as an obsessed figure trying to settle a 75-year-old score with Abadon (Jackie James), in a story set at a Connecticut art school.

Retaining the original's awkward voice-over exposition and closeups of tarot cards substituting for scenes that were never shot, the shortened "Abadon" is incomprehensible. Only link between the two films is that Kit Jones, who plays Borgese's blonde girlfriend in "Fright House", has a small role as young Abadon in second pic's flashbacks.