StarCrash II - les évadés de la galaxie III

It's kind of a Sci-Fi that bogs down and never really recovers. Sherry Buchanan as Belle Star the Princess looks like she is ready to line up for the 800 meters in the Olympics. She is beautiful and in great shape while her leading man boyfriend Lithan played by Fausto Di Bella looks like a reserve forward on a "B" league soccer team. Fausto is not leading man material in any universe. The evil Oraclon, played with zeal by Don Powell, first blows up Bells Father the King, which has no effect on Belle strangely, and sets out to run Belle and Fausto down in his fast spaceship . He finally catches up to them on earth where they have passed the time by watching stupid dance routines and learning how to "get it on" from the brain dead earthlings. The movie continues to just keeps getting worse from there. Watching skinny Fausto play soccer would have been better then this movie, and I hate soccer.

OK the aliens themselves didn't disco but their outfits looked as if they belonged in a sci-fi disco-tech and some of the earthlings wearing peplum outfits danced a tribal disco complete with disco music! Yes this film is laughable, awful, yet entertaining in very weird way. OH and how can you not like Lord Glitterbeard! That was too funny.

Basically, Lord Glitterbeard (or what's his name) is out to get the 2 aliens. The 2 aliens land on earth to hide from him but learn love from some peplum wearing earthlings who's leader claims that they are the last of their kind. The two aliens end up falling in-love and they don't care that they will no longer be immortal because they will know the joys of life and love plus they can catch virus, disease and such - they feel that love is worth the risk.

Terrible movie but kinda fun to watch in an odd way.

4/10

ESCAPE FROM GALAXY 3 is yet another uproarious STAR WARS clone from Italy. With its disco-fueled sensibilities and ultra-fab costumes, this is why God created cinema!

It seems that intergalactic meanie, Oraclon (Don Powell) is up to no good, causing havoc and astonishingly bad "special" effects! Now, only one explosion after another can possibly stop him!

Cue the continual, generic disco music.

The wonderful thing about these epics is that they don't have to make any sense. At all. Just watching Oraclon in his flower-like, aqua / pink outfit and glitter-beard is enough to satisfy any fan of these films.

Enter Belle Star (Sherry Buchanan) in her dancing queen pantsuit, complete with a missing pant leg! As a bonus, her suit is also missing one upper side, compensated by a strategically-placed breast star!

This movie even has a Marjoe Gortner lookalike, wearing the latest in spandex ballet uniforms! Annnd, don't forget the entire civilization of men in miniskirts!

This is entertainment sent straight from the gods!

The quotable lines of dreadful dialogue are nonstop! The soft-soft core "love" scenes are painful! The endless dancing will twirl your brain in your skull!

WARNING: If you are sickened by the sight of pasty man-legs, stay away! This will only be traumatic for you!...

"Star Crash 2" is one of the most hilarious trash flicks I've ever seen. Even the evil tyrant wears a colorful costume with lightnings painted on the legs (instead of black like a proper tyrant), because he knows it's all just fun. The first ten minutes with the epic space battle are looking like a party for New Year's Eve. The hero says: "We have to use plan Y" which basically means "run and hide", I guess. During their escape, they discover the planet Earth which is full of strange things ("Water? Don't touch it, it could be dangerous") and very stupid inhabitants who can't decide whether to love the visitors or hate them. After the first 10 minutes it becomes less spectacular; too much running around in the forest of Earth. But it was ridiculous enough to be of one of those flicks which are so terribly bad you can actually enjoy them.

In the early 1980s, i.e. after the huge success of "Star Wars", many producers thought the public would love anything (anything!) with space-ships in it. Otherwise you can't explain movies such as "Galaxina", "Galaxy" (aka "Galaxy Destroyer") or said "Star Crash 2". Director Ben Norman is Adalberto Albertini who also shot "Black Emanuelle" (as Albert Thomas).

The most astounding and even downright perplexing observation regarding "Escape from Galaxy 3" is that all the many cast members and extras - and I assume these were all mentally sane people - deliberately agreed to walk around in ridiculously infantile costumes and speak the most nonsensical lines aloud! Were they not embarrassed? Did they not fear their relatives and friends would make fun of them for the rest of their lives? Or could it be they were genuinely believing they were part of something great? Maybe some sly Italian producer persuaded everyone this would become ten times more successful than "Star Wars"...

Although I'm not sure it's official, "Escape from Galaxy 3" is often referred to as sequel to Luigi Cozzi's "Star Crash". I don't remember a lot about that one, except that it was also an utterly deranged George Lucas rip-off, but a lot of fun to watch and starring a handful of stellar names like Caroline Munro, Christopher Plummer, and - oh yeah - David Hasselhoff. The wannabe sequel hasn't got any famous names, and even less budget.

In a galaxy far, far away (obviously the synopsis must begin like this) two interstellar tribes are at war. The evil tribe is led by a black guy with a golden beard, a preposterous costume, and a sort of Nazi henchman. The amiable tribe has a king with an oversized crown and an unearthly beautiful daughter named Princess Belle Star (she sure is!). The horrible war is illustrated through a lot of pew-pew with lasers and miniature toy-spaceships flying in front of colorful backgrounds that must have been drawn by the kindergarten class next door to the film studios. Since the tribe with the nice people is losing, the king sends his daughter and 1st commander away on a mission to seek allies in the galaxy. However, the two end up on Earth which was supposedly extinct after a nuclear war many centuries ago. Purely coincidental, I reckon, the duo does land amidst a tribe of human survivors that live primitively, and for some strange and inexplicable reason only hot women and hunky blokes live here. Belle Star and her boy learn about the joy of kissing and caressing, and they forget about their mission. In the end, sex saves the galaxy!

If the plot sounds absurd and idiotic, I can assure you sitting through the movie is actually worse! "Escape from Galaxy 3" must be one of the dumbest and mind-numbing movies I ever watched, but somehow you keep gazing at the lovely lead actress Sherry Buchanan in her hypnotizing outfits and forgive all the goofiness.