Die Hard Dracula

Since I'm an actor/director of features with the same kind of lack of budget and understand how hard it is to even get a production completed, I try to find the good points about them. I can only imagine why this one had 3 different actors play Dracula. That alone is a good reason to see this thing! I have to admit, I wasn't sure if the humor was intentional or not because it seemed to come & go, just like the actor's accents. There were a couple of interesting sight gags that actually got me laughing hard, like a flying coffin! Other then that, it had me thinking "What the h___ is this!". If you're a fan of flicks like "Plan 9......" & "Robot Monster", you'll probably want to see this one.

Is there a point where a movie goes beyond campy to just plain dumb? I didn't think so - but Die Hard Dracula is pushing the envelope way into the realm of stupid. It has plenty of camp which I was expecting - the music score was inspired with only 3 songs Ride of the Valkyries, Blue Danube, and some obscure 70's wakka wakka music. And the effects from blue screening the main character over a CNN documentary of Romania, to the magic chest of gold with it's own internal lighting (if you close the top does it shut off like a fridge), to the rubber mouse being pulled across the floor for ambiance, there is plenty to entertain anyone who loves trashing movies.

But I do not think anybody in the production of the movie took it seriously, they set out to make trash from the beginning. You have to try to be this bad. The dialog drones on like the computer who reads weather warnings, the plot was just thrown together as the movie went along, and the cheesy mother/father dialogue should have been delivered to a child of 8 not 18 going on 43. They couldn't even find a stone building to film the interior scenes in - instead they found some Black and White cow wallpaper and "made do".

But what I think really turned me off to this movie is that I felt they tried too hard to be "bad in the good way" and ruined the whole fun of ridiculing the movie. It kind of felt like teasing the class clown... you get no pleasure from it and he gets the attention he wants.

Thanks a lot for ruining my fun guys... This movie had lots of potential for all time camp, but no, you had to try to be this bad.

There is better movie trash to watch, bail on this one.

Bought this movie at a 2nd hand store for a $1, so i wasn't expecting too much. But i have to tell you, it was hilarious!!! Why would you be expecting an Oscar winner with a title like this? Come on don't be so serious! The best part was the villagers with the changing accents. "Let's get torches & pitchforks" & then the father more concerned about his daughter being in bed with the guy than her being carried off by the Dracula. The other part everyone enjoyed was the flying coffin with the song of the Valkyrie's for a theme. "The only way to travel" hahaha!!!We watched it with a group of people and maybe that made it better as we had our own running commentary. Would we watch it again.. oh yeah!

WELL WHAT CAN I SAY?... AWE INSPIRING A TRUE CHICK FLICK, DAVE CLINTON IS A HUNK OF A GUY AND I'm A HETEROSEXUAL ape As well. ANYWAY HES NOT IN THE FILM, THE FILM HOWEVER LEFT ME MENTAL, PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY SCARRED FOR 5 MONTHS, THEN I WAS CURED BUt i am now suffering from insomnia and diahrea only in the morning between 4 and 6.15. the best part of the film was when the credits were rolling at the end it had me on a natural high for at least what i can consider to be about 5 8ths of a donkeys lifespan. but then you have to say, NO this is my life and you cant tell me what to do, I'm a chuck Norris fan, i own you, your but a mere toucan to me, a mere one! but no seriously this film is not funny and in my opinion it should be classed as a video nasty and banned. after viewing the film with my optical sensors and listening with my audio devices that are located on the side of my face i have depicted the true meaning about black pudding. it's just a excuse to put all of the rubbish thats left of a hog into on measly portion of indepence. pooch, shelves, trashcan, elves and mantoes are all a current feature in this movie and i have to say that were a completed waste of time and they have been used far to to many time in these chauvinistic capitalist films about the grime raper. yes thats right the grim raper not grim reaper.

I am honestly surprised at how low a rating this movie has received here. I've seen far worse movies, that have much higher ratings. Don't get me wrong, this is not a good movie, or even a "so bad it's good" movie ( such as "Autumn" (2009) ).

The thing that strikes me as the biggest single issue, is lack of creativity. Every possible chance the director had to suck the life out of this movie, he went for.

Here is a list of some of the issues I had with this little train wreck:

The editing. Many scenes were cut short, most notably the dinner scene. Many more seemed like there was some footage missing. The editing department was not very kind to scene transitions.

The script had to be written by a 12 year old. No adult could have come up with a storyline like this, unless he was very intoxicated.

The twist ending .... What?! Why?! How The?!

The acting. The folks who were in this were trying there best to act, but it is apparent they are not actors.

Sound was OK for the most part, except for certain scenes like the hayloft were noise obscured dialog.

All the central "good" characters were always in the same room.

Character's behavior "out of character" ( to put it mildly ).

Character interactions were very wrong.

Dracula - the whole character was wrong.

Dark blue day-for-night shots.

Plot points brought up, and dropped.

What little set design there were, looked more at home at a high school play, than this movie.

Special effects were so cheap, the movie would have been slightly better without them.

Of all these bad things I have said about this movie, there is 1 good thing I can say. It had some pretty good footage of the Sedlec Ossuary .