Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels

You think full body waxing is painful? Then try suffering through this inane travesty, which HAS to be one of the most irritating and incompetently made horror comedies I have ever had the misfortune of suffering through.

Sharon (Jill Miller), a lingerie saleslady and city council member, and Sven (Tre Lovell), a barber and her best friend, team up to stop `Chez Yvonne,' a beauty salon which specializes in the removal of body hair. Using a specially formulated wax treatment, innocent customers are turned into lusty living dead minions who chant `no more pesky body hair' over and over again and have insatiable sex drives. The evil lady in charge, Yvonne Wayne (soft porn actress Gwen Somers in a blonde wig), is a cackling, caped, motorcycle-riding dominatrix who moves from city to city turning folks into `zombies' (the filmmakers didn't bother with any make-up or special effects).

Unmercifully overacted by the entire talent-barren cast, the director (who apparently does not understand the meaning of scene continuity) stoops to using speeded-up film, `comical' sound effects (`boing!,' kazoo, flatulence, etc.) and T&A provided by women who look like they've been around the block (a few thousand times) in an attempt to entertain his audience. He fails miserably. Interjected mid-scene, for no apparent reason other than to pad out the running time, are flashes of the moon or boats or lightning or even military stock footage. I honestly had to stop this video four times and take a breather before I could finish it. Let's hope we never have to hear from director Mike J. Roush or scripter Elizabeth S.J. Bergholz ever again, but after this, it is doubtful we will.

Score: 1 out of 10

I knew about this movie only by its title, but I never actually got around to watching it before now in 2024. I have to say that I wasn't really harboring much of any grand expectations to director Michael Roush and writer Elizabeth Bergholz. But given the movie's title, I figured that I would be in for a horror comedy.

This was a brutally dull movie to sit through. Especially since the storyline was a dumpster fire of a storyline. There was nothing enjoyable or entertaining about the rubbish that writer Elizabeth Bergholz had conjured up for this movie.

I gave up 42 minutes into the movie, as it was painstakingly obvious that there would never be any zombies in the movie. And I was ready to claw my eyes out from sheer and utter boredom from the lack of an interesting narrative. So yeah, the movie's title was pretty misleading.

The only familiar face on the cast list, for me, was actor Nils Allen Stewart. I can't say that the acting performances in the movie were particularly impressive or memorable. But at least they weren't among the worst of acting performances that I've witnessed in zombie movies. Usually I like watching movies with a cast ensemble of unfamiliar talents on the screen, but I have to say that the actors and actresses didn't really have much of anything wholesome to work with here.

This is not a movie that I will ever return to attempt finish watching. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend for fans of the horror comedy genre. There just simply wasn't a single ounce of laughter anywhere to be had.

Well, maybe if you a young teenager watching this movie, you might find something worthwhile in the movie.

My rating of this abysmal dung heap lands on a one out of ten stars.

Pretty awful stuff. Even though I thought I knew I was getting into a trashy trashy movie it exceeded my expectations of badness. The worst thing about it though is that it's just dull. I was almost falling asleep a lot despite not being tired, I was up for hours after it finished! Some people will like it, but only very, very easily entertained simple-minded folks with no sense of discretion in what they watch. Hell, I like a bunch of Troma and other low budget trash like Ankle Biters and Troll 2. Don't make the mistake of thinking that this is in that class. Those movies are actually funny. The thing with this one is that it trys to be funny and manages only to mildly amuse for a second here and there.

One thing, if you are a fan of fake boobs you will probably think it's great, as there is a fair amount of attempting to wax womens tits for some reason. Well, the reason being to show plastic tits for those that like that kind of thing. I'm a naturals fan, so this movie really had nothing for me at all.

You say you want a great storyline?

You sau you want excellent directing?

You say you want superb writing?

You say you want an amazing cast with incredible acting?

You say you want a musical tracl for the ages?

You say you want to be glued to your seat wonding what comes next?

You say you want the most satisfyig movie you've ever seen?

Well you better think about looking elsewhere because this puppy fais on every measurement except the 38 Double D's.

It's a movie that is basically one step above Troma garbage. A small step at that.

Not sure who put the money up for this fiasco, bt they must have lost a bundle.

My only requirement is production value. I'm just not down with 7th grade video projects for the camera club. That brings us to this. This is just friggen pathetic. FIN