Hong tiao jing

Almost nothing is more hokey and dumb than this, but don't feel discouraged about seeing it, cause it's funnier than any comedy you'll ever find. It's just that bad. It begins with three idiots that slightly resemble the three stooges, but they are also grave robbers, and they're being chased by this evil vampire guy because one of them stole a golden swastika from some coffin( whose coffin this is, we never find out). From then on, you'll find every cliché in the book, with mind-controlling vampires, a possession scene thats totally ripped off of the Exorcist, and a crapload of dream sequences that seem to pop up over and over again, making you wonder if anything thats really happening in the movie is actually really happening, or is just another ridiculous dream. But don't forget what I said before. This movie is FUNNY! Go ahead and watch it.

Three goofy, unsuccessful thieves wander around robbing graves, eating dogs, getting attacked by hands that burst from the ground, and acting unconscionably stupid. They come to an old inn and find out that a vampire has been preying on virginal young girls in the area. Two of the thieves and the innkeeper are killed, so the remaining thief tries to protect the innkeeper's beautiful daughter and avenge his friends. The vampire can control the daughter's mind, and he makes her drink chicken blood. The thief goes to an old hermit who teaches him Shaolin sorcery and gives him an amulet that looks like a backwards swastika but works like a crucifix. Not much fighting, but plenty of comedy, and a little mild gore. Enjoyable enough Chinese kung fu/comedy/horror, but seeing the name "Elton Chong" in the credits is always a sign that this isn't going to be the best kung fu movie you've ever seen...

The video box cover presents this flick as a hybrid of the martial arts and horror genres. Upon renting it, I figured that if it did not succeed as a horror flick (which was not likely anyway), that it would at least have some good martial arts sequences -- or vice versa. Well, it fails on all counts.

Basically a series of lame, crude comedy sketches. Bad dubbing. A ripoff.

Just because Hong Kong schlock maestro Godfrey Ho is involved with a film doesn't preclude the possibility of enjoying it, but it's safe to say one has a fair idea of what to expect. Even if we give allowances for changes that might have been made in dubbing or re-editing for international markets, it becomes clear in watching 'Dragon against vampire,' very quickly, that this isn't one of the more upstanding titles he had a hand in. In every regard the writing is decidedly weak, crafting a rather flimsy vehicle for the gags and action, and the direction and editing come off as loose, scattered, and almost haphazard. These aspects are all no more than baseline perfunctory - so I suppose it's a good thing that the dire deficiencies kind of add to the charm of such a low-budget, low-grade feature.

Chopped up as it is, Ho nonetheless whipped up a solid, enjoyable story. Would that his scene writing or dialogue were as consistent or robust, or every notion herein, let alone filmmaker Lionel Leung's realization, or the hands of editor Wing-Chan Leung that shaped the whole. Basic connective threads between narrative elements are stunningly thin. There's earnest value in this, but it's almost as though all who had the most oversight in its creation were actively trying to convince us otherwise. Storytelling is troubled not just by the fundamental orchestration and arrangement of scenes, but also by a sense of comedy that mostly just relies on abject silliness over any real wit or intelligence. Entertainment thus flows as much from bewildered disbelief as from sincere engagement as every idea the movie has to communicate is approached very meagerly, and we as viewers are made to labor to extract any amusement. This is especially true since the martial arts action that one anticipates isn't as prominent here as one would hope, and generally limited to a select handful of moments.

I quite like Stephen Tsang's original music, somewhat discordant and off-kilter, though the sound design is imbalanced to the point that themes and music cues are grating on the ears. I admire the production design, costume design, effects, and other contributions from crew behind the scenes. Under the totality of circumstances it feels very difficult to meaningfully assess the acting, but the cast at least does their part. For what it's worth, those stunts and action scenes are splendidly coordinated, and look pretty swell. Very honestly, I did have a good time watching 'Dragon against vampire,' and I think it builds more strength as the length advances; there's a notable difference between the approximate first and second halves. Would that the same level of care and skill that this possesses at its best had been applied more evenly across the entirety of these ninety minutes; even within the last fraction of the runtime new plot points are introduced that are downright flummoxing.

When all is said and done I think this is worth watching in some measure, but given its significant faults it's something to sit with on a lazy, quiet night, and far from essential. For that matter, there are definitely many other Hong Kong action flicks that one should make a higher priority. Provided you can abide its deep imperfections there are surely worse ways to spend one's time than with 'Dragon against vampire.' I just wish the production had been pursued more mindfully in the first place, because a little bit more fastidious craftsmanship would have gone a long way.

An utterly confusing and inept blend of martial arts, horror and comedy that fails on all fronts, yet still manages to entertain (mostly through bizarre dialogue and crap effects). Sadly, a few wacky moments can't elevate this this anything more than barely-watchable.

I watched this with friends and we had a laugh at some scenes and also in trying to piece together our various interpretations of the plot, aided somewhat by the DVD blurb. Essentially, three roguish vagabonds/grave-robbers tumble into the midst of a situation involving a sorcerer who is killing off local virgins. In a fairly stock character arc, one man (Tony) goes from goofy fool to shaolin hero who must defeat the villain. A vampire also turns up to confuse matters.

My favourite moment was when a clearly taxidermied owl on a string was yanked off a branch to simulate flight. That's how bad and hokey this is.

Avoid. There are far better "bad" movies out there.