Death Promise

I always keep my promises on writing about movies like this, and it pays off. Usually, there isn't much specific detail I can give you because it's your basic low-budget format containing elements tried before. This one is pure 70s as it gets! DEATH PROMISE is a grade-Z actioner that has a few things going for it. Sort of like THE KARATE KID being ahead of its time. While typical, it sets in an urbanized locality that perfectly explains the nature of it all. The sensai can't act very well, and sounding almost like Mr. Rogers. A couple of infamous, shocking moments may give you severe bullemia, including a bag full of hungry RATS tied onto a guy's head! Other times, you will be truly amazed by how often a microphone hangs on the top of your TV screen! You can see it jerking and moving, and it's highly noticeable! It also has the downright FUNKIEST sounding opening-closing theme music in movie history, thanks to a soul group named Opus! Not many of you will be able to look for this movie. If you do, I hope you're not lying and saying to everybody that you have! That's a promise.

This is a spectacular crappy movie that I saw back in the early 80's on a double feature with a Jim Kelly film called Death Dimension. The song has stayed in my head for over 25 years. Something like "Death Promise, I'm gonna get you ,Death Promise..." 6 months ago I'm looking around in a video rental place and they have a bin full of movies for 75 cents, a buck, a buck 25. I saw it and couldn't believe it. Bought it and showed it to my wife saying to her that it is part of my childhood. She almost passes out from laughing out loud. Her favorite scene is the bag full of rats and the sucker put behind the bull's eye. PFFFFFFFFFFT!!! If I see this on DVD I'll pass out from shock. Notice the people looking straight at the camera, totally unprofessional, but heartwarming to me.

This heap of cheap thrills pits a young martial arts student against a group of evil corporate suits who are responsible for his father's death.

DEATH PROMISE is a yummy little bonne-bouche for anyone drawn to the 70s-era grindhouse ethos...a heapin' helping of no frills, mean-spirited testosteroni and cheese, generously garnished with obligatory "wakka-wakka-waa" guitar. Along with the tired clichés and ham-fisted performances, you'll find some almost-impressive fight scenes and a few gratis gore moments.

Not everyone will find this chewable, but if you're down for some funky, old-school action smack, this one delivers the goods.

4.5/10.

This "kung-fu"-movie from the seventies is a pretty interesting piece of work. It features all the classic themes of such a movie; revenge, corny acting, weird sound-effects and a complete in-comprehensive final scene - fighting on the roof tops.

Basically it's about Charlie Bone (or Charles Bonet, it's never really clear - the actors name is also Charles Bone) who's feisty father gets killed by hoodlums hired by a rich landlord who wishes to tear one of his skid-row houses down. So Charlie goes out on a rampage to revenge his father and stop the evil doers. Together with his friend Speedy Little (or Speedy Leacock, it's never quite clear either...) they go around kicking a** and, one by one, expedite the bad guy's henchmen.

This would be an OK film to watch. To seriously watch. As a kung-fu movie. But there's so many errors and weird stuff going on here that it actually turns into a comedy. For example: dead guy shrieks when thrown off a building and so on.

The high vote is cast because it's great comical value and also the movie's high entertainment rate. A must see!!! You'll laugh your a** off!

A group of Fat Cats has their eye on a couple of buildings that they'd like to level and redevelop. The problem is that the buildings are home to several dozen people. The Fat Cats decide to do what they can to force the tenants to leave - turn off the water, attack residents, release a box of rats, etc. When everything else fails, the Fat Cats approve the murder of the tenants' leader. But Charley Roman isn't going to sit by and let his father's murderers go unpunished. He takes the law into his own hands and uses his martial arts skills to exact revenge.

How can one movie be so bad, yet so watchable at the same time? Death Promise really tests my notion that I rate films primarily on entertainment value, because everything else you can name about Death Promise is bottom-of-the-barrel. Pathetic acting, horrible lighting, lazy one-take direction, ridiculous plot, bad make-up, silly dialogue, "stagey" fight choreography, a "twist" ending that should surprise no one, incomprehensible lapses in logic (more on that later) - Death Promise has it all. One of the more annoying facets of the film is how the title - Death Promise - actually relates to the film. After his father's death, Charley Roman engages in an ongoing conversation with his dead father where he "promises" to avenge his "death". This monologue happens at regular intervals for at least half the film. Silly doesn't begin to describe this plot device.

However, despite all the flaws, Death Promise still manages to be surprisingly watchable - if not entertaining at times. What's Death Promise got going for it? First, they may not be real actors, but Charles Bonet and Speedy Leacock seem to know their martial arts. Their kicks, jumps, and punches look authentic. Second, I know it's unintentional, but the bad guys are so clichéd, they end up being a real hoot. I had more fun watching this group than I could have ever hoped. Third, Death Promise has a really cool bow-chicka-wow-wow soundtrack that worked on me. Gotta love these 70s films. Finally, Death Promise falls solidly into that "so bad it's good" category. I never like using the phrase, but it applies here. Considering the good and the bad, I think my 5/10 rating seems about right.

I previously mentioned incomprehensible logic. Well, here's what I mean. BIG TIME SPOILER Charley Roman wants revenge for his father's death. His martial arts instructor, Master Shibata, advises him to seek out some special training from another martial arts master. Charley Roman returns home more ready than ever to face his father's killers. How absolutely illogical is it when we discover (and it's no real surprise) that Shibata is the head baddie? So, Shibata sends Charley Roman for more training so that he can return to face him. What? How does that make any sense in the slightest? END BIG TIME SPOILER