Toys Are Not for Children

Infrequently lauded, boundary-blasting Grindhouse impresario, Stanley H. 'Two Girls' Brasloff reaches his onanistic apogee in his anti-Sirkian, wonderfully wrong-headed, sadistically squirrelly, promiscuously incestuous, preternaturally potty pot-boiler 'Toys are not for Children' (1972) which arguably remains one of the most sinisterly outrageous grope operas ever conceived to boggle previously thought as 'un-boggle-able' B-Movie minds!

Taking a deliciously degenerated, John Waters approach to sweaty-palmed, morally napalmed family values, Brasloff paints a fascinatingly lurid, stink-fingered portrait of the sin suppurating, salaciously-skewed Godard family. We savour the flavoursome interlude of lusciously ripe young, Jamie Godard (Marcia Forbes) squirming avidly upon the bed suggestively appropriating her childhood plush toy for intimate tasks, perhaps, entirely extra to its original design! Hamming it up with scummy aplomb, the majestically malevolent matriarch Godard (Fran Warren) strides into the bedroom incensed by the sight of daughter, Jamie's breathy exhortations over her absentee father!

This heady 'opening' sordidly telegraphs the transgressive, manifestly strange milieu of gamine, infantile Jamie's troubled, rigorously unconsummated marriage to peachy-keen, handsomely lean Toy Shop co-worker, Charlie (Harlan Cary Poe), and Jamie's singularly misguided quest to locate her long absconded, highly suspect, serially abusive father. Our ingenuous heroine having to endure the profoundly unpleasant, morally repugnant undertakings of her truly venal pimp, Eddie (Luis Arroyo), and suffering additional ignominy at the insensitive hands of her dysfunctional mother/guardian/abuser, Pearl (Evelyn Kingsley).

The technical aspects of Brasloff's twisted drama are quite exemplary, being of a much higher standard than the outre subject matter might suggest. Especially notable is the refined quality of acting, which gives this exquisitely dark and fetishistic tale of starkly forbidden familial love some remarkably heartfelt pathos, demonstratively absent from similarly illicit 42nd Street fare of the period. Fondly recalled, and deservedly so, the evocative opening theme 'Lonely Am I' is an ear-wormingly diggable ditty that belies the film's queasy examination of child abuse and its deleterious effects upon the wholly corrupted lives of all those involved. 'This bracingly adult film is certainly NOT for childish minds!'

Toys Are Not For Children and this movie isn't for everyone. Aesthetically, it looks like it was scrapped together with a child's leftover lunch money, but the story, while sleazy, seems to have higher aspirations than low budget sleaze.

A young woman has an unhealthy obsession with her father whom she never sees since her mother separated from him due to his various infidelities. She lives in a stunted kind of existence, still playing with toys he bought her. This infuriates her husband whose upset that she doesn't want to have sex with him. Unhappy with her life, she runs away and ends up befriending a middle aged high class prostitute who gets her into the world's oldest profession where she meets men who are old enough to be her father and...well...let's just leave it at that.

If one were to read this script, I'm sure it would practically ooze sleaze, but the film itself feels more like a slightly more edgy after school special with precious little actual nudity or sexual content. Performances are spirited in that grand old low budget film way and one could almost believe they were brought over from the John Waters or Andy Milligan flick filming a few states away.

Toys Are Not For Children does a great job of balancing true drama and sleaze.

Toys Are Not for Children (1972)

*** (out of 4)

Jamie (Marcia Forbes) is a mentally unstable young woman who is still suffering various daddy issues. She eventually marries Eddie (Luis Arroyo) but is too afraid to sleep with him, which leads to her relationship with Pearl (Evelyn Kingsley), a known prostitute. Pretty soon Jamie's daddy issues lead her into prostitution and soon she runs into her real father who left her years earlier.

If you're a fan of Something Weird Video then you know they've released all sorts of strange sex pictures. If you're expecting a sex picture out of TOYS ARE NOT FOR CHILDREN then you will either be shocked or disappointed because that's not what this movie is. Instead of cheap sex and nudity, this movie instead goes for a more psychological approach and it actually works in delivering a very surreal and dark tale of mental illness.

What shocked me the most is the fact that this film is rather ambitious and tries to be more like Bergman than the various trashy film that were playing 42nd Street. Of course, this isn't anywhere near the level of Bergman but I really do respect director Stanley H. Brassloff for trying to do something deeper. I really liked how the story jumped around from various times in Jamie's life and I thought this added a nice flow to the material. Another major plus is the fact that the director manages to hold your attention throughout even though he was obviously working with a very small budget.

Another plus are the performances, which for the most part were very good. Forbes is wonderful in the role of the woman who is still very much like a child due to her daddy leaving. I really thought she nailed this character and made for a very good character study. The actress was believable no matter what the role was calling for. Harlan Cary Poe was also very good in the role of the abusive pimp. Both Kinglsey and Arroyo were good as well.

TOYS ARE NOT FOR CHILDREN isn't a movie that's going to appeal to everyone. The low-budget look of the picture does make it appear more raw and overall I was surprised to see how captivating the film was.

Jamie is a mentally stunted adult obsessed with the father whom her mom kicked out when she was a young girl. This movie is insane. it did keep my interest throughout. Those who go into this film, thinking it'll be another 70's-era skin flick are in for a surprise. Nudity is kept to a minimum. This is more of a psychological mind&*%$ If you stick with it, it's a pretty good, creepy b-movie. This movie is coupled with "The Toy Box" on the Something Weird DVD.

My Grade:B

DVD Extras: Art Gallery;2 short subjects ( the Toy Telephone Truck, & the Christmas Eves); Trailers for Toys are not for Children, the Toybox, The Exquisite Cadaver, Tales of the Bizarre, The Single Girls, Ann and Eve, The Depraved, Sextet, The Naked Countess, and Labyrinth of Sex

A sexually repressed young woman with an unhealthy attachment to her father can't make a relationship work so she becomes a prostitute.

With a few tweaks here and there, Toys Are Not for Children could pass as an early John Waters movie with its strange themes, odd acting, and low budget filming style, but this one seems to want to be taken a little more seriously, which makes it a far more disturbing, if not somewhat amusing, viewing experience. This won't be one for everyone.