Antiques Roadshow

It's funny that the same review fits here as the one I wrote for the British original: A nice little show about antique objects and their value. But it could have been presented better, more beautifully, more comfortably. The German version "Bares für Rares" is a lot better positioned here.

The Antiques Roadshow came to my city a few years ago and, after being a big fan of it for a long time, I begged my husband to go and planned on bringing along a German air rifle my father brought home from The War. Since each person was allowed to bring two items I also brought along a hunting rifle that belonged to my brother-in-law's uncle. The gun's stock had been repaired and was held together in places with screws and was never a valuable item, even when new.

We got to the arena at 6am and the line was already down the block and around the corner, with more people showing up in droves every minute. We stood on line for six hours, most of it in the pouring-down rain, with no port-a-potties anywhere, nobody offering to sell us any snacks, and no protection from the downpour.

The people on line were friendly and in good spirits, tho, and after spending so much time with them we made a lot of new friends who were eager to share the stories of the items they had brought along. I felt sorry for one woman, tho, who had brought a lovely table that was getting ruined in the rain.

By the time we got inside we were soaked thru from the rain, but we were all happy to be able to dry out a bit, finally buy a pretzel, and anxious to get to the appraisers, to see if all that suffering we had endured in the elements was worth it.

It wasn't.

Once we got to the door of the huge appraisal room we were told which table to go to, depending on what type of item we had, and we were told we had five minutes for the appraisal, that was all, and most of all, to keep moving and exit the room as quickly as possible following the appraisal process.

My husband and I bid farewell to our new friends as we all split up to our appointed sections of the room, and we hurried to the firearms appraisal table. I found out that my air gun had been used by the HitlerYouth as a training weapon during World War II and had a value of about $100, which seemed rather low to me, considering its morally unpleasant but nonetheless interesting provenance. I tried to ask a few more questions, but the appraiser was rude and cranky and kept cutting me off. Then he gave me the value for my brother-in-law's gun, the homemade one that was held together with screws and spit. $200! I couldn't believe it.

I don't think we even got our five minutes at the table. We tried to look around at other things on our way out, and I was excited to see Leigh and Leslie Keno recording a segment for the broadcast, but overall I was left with a sour taste, that we had been treated so poorly by everyone involved, and were dismissed almost as non-entities, when if it weren't for people like us, they would have no show at all. We had wasted an entire day, were miserable and wet for most of it, and had a disappointing result.

I watched the broadcast a couple of months later to see if we had been caught on tape, milling around the room (we had not), and that was the last time I ever watched that show.

The fun bits of this show that gives you a free appraisal of that thingamajig that you got out of Aunt Mabel's attic is when 1) it turns out to be very rare and/or valuable, 2) when it has an interesting history even when the monetary worth is minimal, or 3) it is a complete fake and the viewer learns, "Buyer Beware!", and the owner is (we hope for his sake) thankful that he only paid a few dollars at a flea market for it.

The appraisers always seem very happy when they are able to deliver good news to the person and quite consoling when the occasional fraud turns up.

Don't waste your time unless you are sure you have something very valuable, and then don't be so sure. We brought antiques to be appraised and felt snookered into waiting much longer than we were led to believe we would have to wait. You are given a time to enter and are led to a very long line. That line took about 2 hours. Toward the end of the line I asked how much longer we'd have to wait and was told "five minutes." Thinking we had finally got to where we would have our objects appraised, we were led to another two-hour line. If you wanted two items of different types appraised, you had to join yet another two-hour line for the second item. At the end of our 4-hour wait, we were told that our object was worth very little. We learned that an object may be 100 years old, but if it wasn't worth much to begin with, it still isn't. I could have taken it in to an appraiser, paid a little money, and found that out without the four-hour wait, not to mention the time spent to get to and from the venue where the event was held. Most people had their objects packed so you see very little of what other people are bringing, so there really is not much fun in it. Save yourself the trouble.

Roadshow, while it does nothing to compensate the original artisans who created these works (they presumably were compensated at original manufacture?), does help the rest of us who might discover a potential windfall in our attic. The show's long run has actually HURT the rich antique collectors in the sense that hundreds of thousands of everyday people now know what these pieces are worth, and they are not as easily duped by the proliferation of unscrupulous dealers.

To say that we should completely forsake collectibles in favor of buying new goods is to say that we should never place a premium on quality and craftsmanship, for that is the common thread. We should be happy with a few new music discs or movies, rather than have a large collection of great and classic material purchased used.

There is room for both, and this is another example of where we need balance in our lives. Besides, it is great entertainment!