The Criminal

Okay, it may not have the budget of Enemy of the State, but Julian Simpson's first film was undeniably enjoyable nonetheless. The Criminal, withstanding a few minor glitches, is one of the most likeable British films I've seen in ages. I must admit that I am slightly biased as I love conspiracy films but this had all the right ingredients: the innocent everyman hero on the run, spies, femme fatales, plot twists etc. It occasionally felt as if some scenes could've been cut to quicken the pace, but as it is it's still very entertaining.

Bernard Hill, the Captain from Titanic, was brilliant as the foul-mouthed bad-tempered policeman, and Steven Mackintosh was believable as the everyman hero, without resulting to cliche's. The rest of the cast was made up with faces from TV, but this didn't matter as they were all great.

The Criminal is a suspense/thriller that unfortunately lacks much of either. It starts out well enough, with a guy named Jasper picking up a girl in a bar and bringing her home. A man bursts into his house and murders the girl. Jasper is on the run from the police as he tries to prove his innocence and find who the real killer is. The problem is that this has been so many times and this time it is only so-so. Acting is OK, except from the American girl who is just awful. Good opening, but everything just goes down from there and it gets to the point where it just isn't that engaging. Everything is just average. Not embarrassing, but not really worth watching. ** out of ****

The little-known and underrated Steven Mackintosh stars in this ambitious and complex British thriller which keeps you right on the edge of your seat until the end.

Sadly, the end is a little bit disappointing but when you watch this endlessly twisting conspiracy story you'll soon come to realise that it is just too clever for its own good. And while that's not exactly a compliment, at least this low budget attempt at North by Northwest proves first-time writer/director Julian Simpson is not given to compromise.

The story begins late at night in a Soho bar where unassuming thirtysomething musician Jasper (Mackintosh) is drinking alone until he's joined by stunning blonde, Sarah, played by Natasha Little. She seems very keen to go back to his place, crack open a bottle of vodka and spend the night doing whatever two broad-minded and drunk adults like to do. But at 2am there's a knock at the door and suddenly the pace of The Criminal picks up as Jasper gets a smack in the face and wakes up to find the blonde had been slashed to ribbons and he is the number one murder suspect.

Up steps Bernard Hill as a hard-bitten copper who effs and blinds his way confidently through some fairly ropey dialogue. Unable to come up with substantive evidence, he lets Jasper back on the street (pursued by bumbling police, naturally) and our hero immediately begins to unravel the very murky story behind the murder. Be prepared to pay attention very closely from this point onwards because The Criminal is not a movie for those suffering post-MTV attention deficit disorder.

Mackintosh, whose character probably seemed pretty flat on paper, is onscreen almost constantly and thankfully he's up to the job, rescuing what might otherwise be a celluloid disaster. You might not know his name, but if you've seen Lock Stock, Blue Juice or The Buddha of Suburbia, you'll know the face. There's a good role for Soldier Soldier star Holly Aird as Hill's sidekick but unwarranted top billing goes to stand-up comic Eddie Izzard, who pops up fairly unconvincingly for about ten minutes of screen time in a role that's perhaps a little too vital for someone so inexperienced. Comedy lovers should also watch out for Red Dwarf co-star Norman Lovett in a very brief cameo.

Pick it apart and The Criminal doesn't hold much water. But despite its faults (of which there are a fair few) you are going to find it very hard to switch off without finding out what happens in the end.

This film lacked the basics; tension, atmosphere and a half decent script. It didnt work. It didnt know what it was. It ended up being Farce. Keystone cops, 'U' certificate violence, dodgy flashbacks, Bethnal Green Town-hall;(When do you ever get an oak panelled cop shop?) I can only think that the American actress playing the street-wise urchin, (taking the film to an even more embarassing depth), was only there because a relation of hers put money into the project! Whats sad is its got such a good cast. Oh what could have been done with them and the budget! It makes 'Honest' look like a masterpiece. They'd probabley make a good double-bill!!

Oh dear, British films, what happened? I saw this little slab of nastiness just under a year ago (Oct 99) and it still isn't out today (Oct 00) - and really it is no surprise. Debuting at the London Film Festival to lukewarm response, The Criminal appears to be a hark back to the dark days of late fifties Brit crim flicks where everyone got in too deep for their own good and co-incidentally came across a superfluous American character to help the thing get distributed in the US. Only this boy's been watching too many Brit gangster films. Although a cinematographically a worthy first pop by the debut director, the story is a seen-it-all-before-with-bells-on stab at a conspiracy theory movie with one minor exception...whereas you'll normally side with the beleagured protagonist in this genre, ten minutes in and you really stop caring what happens to the unsympathetic little git. For most people, the chance to see Eddie Izzard in a straight role will be the main bait, but even he's dead ropy in it, and all in all this spiteful little drain on a couple of hours of your life really isn't worth missing the soaps for. Be warned - if the police are stationed in a building that plush and majestic there really must be something dodgy going on.