Pam & Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon

I have watched this movie many times, and I think, despite the lack of characters and story line, this movie was decently done. I guess the biggest improvement this movie could make was to clean the dirty lens. Half the time the shots were blurry and the camera was shaking around. A major downside of this movie was the lack of emotion. I felt as emotional as I would watching paint dry. For a two-person made movie, however, I feel they did a decent job.

Overall Opinion: If you can find it for a decent price, get it. Otherwise, it isn't worth your time.

Your garden-variety professional porn flick consists of a variety of sex acts performed by attractive--to varying degrees--people. Your garden- variety "amateur" porn flick consists of a variety of sex acts performed by not particularly attractive--to varying degrees--people. This "film" is neither a professional porn flick nor is it really an "amateur" one. Pamela Anderson is, it is generally agreed, extremely attractive and extremely sexy. Her husband, musician Tommy Lee, is neither, but since he's the one using the camera, most of the focus of the film is on him, and it's' not a pretty sight. I can't think of too many people who are eager to gaze at his skinny, spindly, tattooed body--although he seems to be enamored of it, considering how much time he spends showing it--but the most revealing part of this tape isn't the sexual content of it. As many other posters have noted, the sex scenes are so poorly shot as to be barely visible at times, but Pam and Tommy Lee prove once and for all that pretty much every derogatory remark ever made about them is true--she's an inflated, room-temperature-IQ airhead (although she seems to have a bit more on the ball than he does, which should give you an idea of just how much of a wackjob he is) and he's a conceited, arrogant, obnoxious, bullying jackass. It's fairly evident from the start that Pam really didn't want to have sex on camera, but Tommy's constant badgering and whining finally made her give in. It's also evident--and pretty much confirmed near the end of this mess--that Tommy saw this more as a showcase for his sexual "prowess" than anything else, and it's also obvious that he really didn't give a rat's ass if Pam liked it or not. She doesn't really seem to be into it in the least. She reminds you of nothing more then a typical bored porn queen, just lying back and reciting, "Oh yeah, baby, do me, you're great baby," blah, blah, blah. It's only at the end that you realize who was manipulating who: Tommy's preening, his smug, self-satisfied smirking, his "Yeah, I'm the man!" attitude contrasts with Pam's bemused "OK, now that that's over, I can get back to doing something I actually enjoy" expression.

Don't get me wrong--even if Pam & Tommy Lee had a professional cinematographer shoot this it would still be worthless, because what you're seeing isn't a sex film as much as it is Tommy Lee's tribute to himself (and a pathetically undeserved one at that; his "performance" would get him laughed off the set of an actual porn film). Don't waste your time or your money on this loser.

"Baby, I gotta be preggos 'cause you were so, far, inside me, that I was like inside out." "Baby, that is one weenis." "Oh, lover, you are so beautiful." All the screenwriters Andy Warhol ever worked with couldn't have come up with the dialogue of this "inadvertent" hardcore travelogue of the Pam and Tommy honeymoon, which is white-trash cretinism boiled down to a post-bakeage minimalism that is genuinely mind-blowing. These may be the two stupidest people ever committed to celluloid. If you ever wondered what a doobie-baked stripper says to her heroin-riddled tattooed deadbeat boyfriend before he passes out on her floor, this will provide some much-needed answers.

It's hard to review a tape that was never meant for public consumption. Neither Pamela Anderson nor Tommy Lee filmed this with the intent of releasing it to video -- although there are rumors to the opposite.

I rented this during a dull weekend just for curiosity's sake -- thanks to all the media hype. It succeeded in making my weekend even duller.

The gist of the matter is the sex takes up at most five minutes of the tape -- unless you get the truncated R-rated version where it's more like 30 seconds. The rest of the video consists of various home movie material -- the only difference between this and other people's home movies is it features two well-known people. Otherwise it's very dull stuff.

Only a couple of moments stand out as interesting: the extremely poorly shot wedding footage (word to self: never point a video camera at people standing in front of the sun) which had an otherworldly feel to it, and a brief bit shot behind-the-scenes of Anderson's film Barb Wire.

If you're in love with Anderson, you'll probably enjoy the tape. If you're renting this to see two celebrities having sex, you might get what you paid for, but don't expect much. Reportedly a much better "naughty home video" of Anderson exists, showing her having her jollies with Bret Michaels. Unfortunately (or fortunately), Anderson won a court case in the spring of 2001 that prevented this video from being released. Too bad she didn't have the same luck with her Tommy Lee opus.

The sexy side of this video caught my attention, but upon closer examination I noticed how revealing this home video sequence was and how normal these "Pop Icons" are. There is explicit sex and nudity but it is brief or barely distinguishable. The jittery hand held camera work or blurred lens will drive you nuts. It took the couple a few days before they realized the camera lens was filthy. Behind the scenes Pam seems more like a sweet modest girl than the sex pot her image portrays. They live in luxury and freedom and this gives you a peak at "how the other half lives". I reviewed the version with "numerous scenes restored". But this may well have translated into many long, and boring sequences like their "Alien Wedding" where the bride and groom and various guests wear tin foil and spacesuits. The video reveals some wild and drunken behavior but also reveals two people that seem like fairly typical young adults that are in love. They certainly never intended for this to be seen by the public, and their private craziness may not be too far from the lives of others of their age. I would certainly pass on this one unless you are really thrilled by the voyeuristic aspects of it all. The technical quality of the video is the lowest I've seen.