American Virgin

Just when you thought that throw-away movies couldn't possibly get any worse, along comes 'American Virgin'. 'Virgin' is simply a shameless piece of trash. The filmmakers know it and for that reason they changed the title of the movie from 'Live Virgin' to 'American Virgin' in order to cash in on Mena Suvari's success ('American Beauty' and 'American Pie'). I feel bad for the poor sap who'll buy this crap expecting to see something like the two aforementioned films.

This movie is just downright terrible on all levels. One only has to look at the idiotic plot involving Mena Suvari as the daughter of a porn director (Robert Loggia) who agrees to lose her virginity onscreen just to spite her father. To add further insult to an already lame plot, while Suvari's character is losing her virginity, many paying customers will be participating in the event via a virtual sex machine. Hell and I haven't even got to the talk-show scene that even Jerry Springer wouldn't admire, the subplot involving Suvari's geek boyfriend, and the annoying loudmouth antics of the two porn directors. As far as disposable movies go, this one is roadkill.

Rating: (2/10) or (0 stars)

Worth seeing if you're a Bob Hoskins fan!! He's in some nice situations sans most of his clothes!!

Mena Suvari's third movie in the past two years with "American" in the title and also dealing with sex. A great comedy, with great performances by Bob Hoskins as an Adult Film producer and the interactive sex machine he invents. Mena plays Katrina, whose father is a rival adult film producer. Hoskins recruits Katrina to be his "interactive virgin" for a live TV event in which people who bought his contraption will be able to participate. Bob Hoskins and Robert Loggia give standout comedic performances that left me rolling in the floor.

Whenever an actor or director I like passes away, I often find something somewhat obscure to watch in their honor, especially if I've seen all of their most famous output. Sometimes I dig up something really bad, though, and that's the case with American Virgin, which I watched in memory of Bob Hoskins. Robert Loggia and Hoskins star as rival pornographers. When Loggia's teenage daughter (Mena Suvari, who made this film shortly before American Pie and American Beauty) goes off to work for Hoskins, a war between the two men begins. This mostly consists of the two actors hamming it up yelling at each other. This movie, made in Europe, has no idea how to make anything funny. For a while, it's amusing in just how weird it is, and, let's face it, Loggia and Hoskins can ham it up fun, but, after a while, it gets just plain boring.

I really thought he was above this kind of low-budget garbage. I thought he made good movies. And the same for Mena Suvari, who's been so good in everything she's done.

How many of you were like me -- you saw that Hoskins and Suvari were starring in "American Virgin," so you rented it, figuring it would meet a certain standard?

Also, what about Esai Morales? I didn't realize that his career had fallen so far down the tubes that not only is he appearing in something like this, he's not even a star. He only has a few lines and a bit part.