They Bite

After the first five minutes you're probably thinking this is nothing but cheap smut and violent filth.You're basically right. but if you can handle this kind of movie then you should probably see it(although it is hard to find).Also anyone who is a fan of the old beach monster movies shown at drive ins in the 50's-60's will probably like this seeing as how it pays homage to movies of that sub genre like 'The Horror of Party Beach'.This is not a movie to take seriously, you should just have fun with it.

I found this one in the loser bin for $1.00 on VHS. It looked bad but I figured, what the hell, my collection is full of bad, one time viewing, crap. All I can say is, this movie has it all! Yes, the production starts off pretty low quality but is pretty impressive by the end, what really surprised me about this one was the plot. It was well written and actually has some depth and twists to it. Also, the characters are very likable and even somewhat believable. Every time the film comes back to the film crew their dialog had me laughing my ass off, and not because it was bad. This is rare in the genre. They reminded me of the group of friends in "40 year old virgin". This movie really delivers in the breast department. Very few movies have so many boobs. I'm not sure what else to say. I've watched it about 8 times now and it keeps getting better. All my friends agree. Its a perfect movie to sit around and drink beer to. "They Bite" is the kind of film "Slither" was aspiring to be. Watch it if you can find it. Pure classic horror from an era that is long gone.

If you go into a movie called THEY BITE expecting a life-changing experience, then you've got yourself mopped into a corner for big disappointments. Understanding that this is a juvenile monster movie with no artistic ambitions is step one for a positive viewing experience...this is strictly "brains on pause" entertainment, and as such, it works quite nicely(and, naturally, anything featuring porn legend Ron Jeremy outside his...erm...natural habitat...is always interesting to see).

An uncomplicated aliens-on-Earth-eating-people item which has a good sense of humor about itself, and features some very inventive monsters and a goodly amount of ribald chuckles. Production values and acting are mostly above the equator for this type of fare, and some of the special effects moments demonstrate surprising ingenuity and aptitude.

You could do far worse than this...just work with it instead of against it, and you'll probably have a fun time.

5.5/10.

Ambitious far beyond expectations, "They Bite" succeeds in spoofing not one, but two movie genres. The first half has at least a bunch of chuckles, squarely aimed at the adult film industry. The actors are likable, the acting is acceptable for this type production, and the nudity is not totally gratuitous. The second half is all about the fish monsters, with the sci-fi elements, and special effects surprisingly effective considering the minuscule budget. Just when you thought things couldn't get more outrageous, they do. The closest porno parody flick I could compare this to would be "The First Nudie Musical", which is a spoof of Broadway shows, and contains lots of nudity. In fact they both have the identical line spoken by their leading nude lady, "I am an actress" - MERK

This flick is really obscure to find. It never had a proper release on DVD or Blu Ray, to be honest, even on VHS it's a tough one to possess. Is it worth the search, honestly it isn't because it's an ultra low budget horror and it shows in the effects.

But that I could dig because not all low budgets are that bad. But here there isn't almost no horror. The beginning do offer some creepy moments but the tone is set because before the victim (voluptous blond) got killed she strips before the camera. And that is what it's all about.

The story is all about shooting a porn flick and there are a lot of misunderstandings which should make it a comedy but face it, it's full of gratuitous nudity and the story isn't that strong after all. It's only towards the end that the critters com in but by then it's all too late to save this flick.

Gore 0/5 Nudity 2/5 Effects 1/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 0,5/5