Hot Blood

This sexy Euro production is hard to rate, mainly because of how wildly uneven it is. The first half, concerning a botched bank robbery, is rather bland and poorly realized. but at the halfway point it completely switches gears. and gets a lot better. It starts with a seemingly random bank robbery in Spain, perpetrated by two Americans, but at the midway point it is revealed the bank is owned by the estranged father of the lead robber. And this is when the movie hits it's stride. It turns out the bank owner, also the richest man in town, is a celebrated Matador. 20 years ago he had separated with his wife, who moved to America with one of their two sons. The other one stayed with his bullfighter dad, and grew into a spoiled, entitled bum, following in his father's footsteps of being a Matador and bedding as many women as possible. When Julio and Ricardo meet for the first time a familial power struggle for their father's respect (and fortune) ensues. If you can get past the stilted first half, and can stomach the antics of Ricardo's foul mouthed partner, who manages to rape a woman while robbing the bank, this movie does pay off. On a side note, Sylvia Kristel is in this, but she is not a main character and doesn't have a lot of screen time, and her name was obviously used a selling point for this odd movie. And while Sylvia does not get naked, there is plenty of sex and eye candy on display, both female and male. Also featured is some interested bullfighting footage and some excellent traditional Spanish music throughout. Fans of sordid soap opera fare with erotic content should enjoy "Hot Blood."

What we have here are two distinctively stories wrapped into one but, unfortunately, they are both stupid as hell. The first part of the movie is a story about a bank robbery but it isn't really a bank robbery but an attempt by the bank owner's abandoned son to get attention from pops. What could possibly go wrong? Well, other than forced anal rape, manslaughter, and sexual assault, not much. But, don't worry, the kid gets what's coming to him for initiating this mess but....oh, wait...no he doesn't. I guess boys will be boys and this was just one of those youthful indiscretions, so why not let it slide? For, you see, there is a twist. Apparently, the Old Man started feeling guilty for being a lousy dad, so he decides to get himself killed in a bullfight and leave all his money to the estranged son and nothing to the other son who grew up with him. Make sense? Sure it does! About as much sense as the idea that they would let some old man get into a bullfighting ring with a violent bull to face certain death. Apparently, anything goes in bullfighting and there are no safety precautions whatsoever. The rest of the movie from that point is a ridiculous family drama that is as boring as it is stupid.

There are two things about this turkey that jumped out at me, though. First, there is a weird sex scene at the beginning where I could swear the girl's ass cheeks are either taped or stuck together somehow. Something just isn't right about it! Second, I love the European attempt at sounding like a low-class, American schlep-rock in dubbing the dialogue for the main character's lowbrow bank robbery accomplice. The guy had some great lines like, "The most violent thing going on here is my orgasm!" and other similar gems. His character was about the only thing in this movie that was entertaining. This appears to be a somewhat obscure film and it deserves to be because it stinks. Avoid.