Le scomunicate di San Valentino

Until the annual Quentin Tarantino film fests began in Austin a couple of years back, I must admit to being naive with regards to the Italian Horror genre.

I enjoy, from time to time, a little mindless entertainment shall we say, and The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine could hardly be more mindless. Lots of naked nuns and plenty of the mentally disturbed highlight this 93 minute epic. Don't let me give away the big entombment finish.

Not for all tastes, but if you want to try one on (Italian Horror) this benign little foray is a good starting point. Take on Mario Bava at a later date.

Writer/Director Sergio Grieco is better known for the last film he directed, Mad Dog Killer, a fave of Quentin Tarantino. This entry into the nunsploitation genre is pretty tame by the standards set by such films as Cloistered Nun: Runa's Confession and Sacred Flesh.

It is basically a Romeo and Juliet story in Spain with the Inquisition used to separate two lovers. The film spends the bulk of it's time focusing on the abuses of the Catholic Church in that regard, where anonymous lies were used to condemn and murder in the name of god.

The actual nunsploitation aspects are confined to exposed breasts. All of the action takes place under sheets or off camera. Those looking for titillation will not find it in this film. It contains only extremely obese clerics and their obsession with power. Look elsewhere for your fun.

This movie is such a complete waste of time even for people like me who kind of like the much-maligned "nunsploitation" genre that I'm going to focus on the ONLY conceivable reason to endure this swill--lead actress Jenny Tamburi (who died earlier this year by the way, lest I come off sounding like a stalker). Tamburi (aka Lucia Della Robbins) was one of a truly incredible crop of young Italian actresses that got their start in early 1970's Italian/European genre films. Of them, only Ornella Mutti became a big international star, but Gloria Guida made quite an impression in softcore sex films. Daria Nicolodi kind of fell into the shadow of Dario Argento (but DID give birth to Asia Argento)while Agostina Belli was breathtakingly beautiful but not a strong enough actress to really break into the big leagues. There's MANY other actresses of this era I could mention, but the one talent that I really felt was wasted was Jenny Tamburi.

Tamburi was excellent in a pretty decent Italian giallo "Smile Before Death", but unfortunately I might be the only person who's seen it. (I'd try to describe the incredible nude photography scene she has with Rosalba Neri in that movie, but I don't want to drool all over my keyboard). She was in Fulci's "Seven Black Notes" all too briefly but really managed to liven up that rather dull film while she was on-screen. She was also in "Frankenstein All'Italia" which has never been translated into English, Sergio Martino's "Suspicious Death of a Minor" (which is being released on DVD in September 2006), and the lurid mother/daughter sex fantasy film "La Seduzione" (like Ornella Mutti, she got kind of typecast into sexy teen roles well into her twenties, but unlike Mutti she never got beyond it).

Normally I wouldn't recommend a dire movie like this based on one pretty girl (or even one pretty, naked girl), but then again I've seen every Jess Franco movie featuring Soledad Miranda and a shameful number of them with Lina Romay, so why listen to me? Put it this way: if you enjoy seeing beautiful and talented young Italian actresses from the golden age of Italian exploitation films, I'd recommend checking out ANY available movie on Jenny Tamburi/Lucia Della Robbin's CV--even this one.

I seem to be in the minority here. I actually enjoyed this film. Or maybe more accurately, I was pleasantly surprised. The reason I stand in the minority camp here clearly seems to be because I have very little knowledge of the genre known as nunsploitation. My lack of experience in this most specific of exploitation genres has perhaps saved me from disappointment. While seasoned fans of this type of flick bemoan the lack of full-on sleaze here, I truthfully never noticed and was instead pleased to see a film with good production values and a surprisingly coherent storyline. The only other title from this sub-genre that I can remember ever seeing was Ken Russell's delirious shock-fest The Devils. Although I haven't seen Russell's excellent film in at least a decade, I certainly remember it well enough. Who, in all honestly, could forget something like that? Now, while The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine is nowhere near as good, it clearly derived inspiration from Ken's classic, sharing, as it does, the somewhat specific feature of a whole convent of nuns being declared servants of Satan by the religious establishment and then subsequently going temporarily deranged in a sex-crazed fashion.

Set in Spain during the Inquisition, the story is about the trials of a young couple who are in love. The girl's father disapproves of the relationship and sends his daughter to a convent, while denouncing her lover a heretic. After a series of unfortunate events, the Inquisition denounces the whole convent of nuns and seals them inside their monastery alive. This leads the girl's lover on a quest to save her.

The above synopsis is a really abridged account of what happens in this film. Although the story is quite expansive, it is, unusually for Italian cinema, a coherently told affair. Acting is of a good standard too with no one really letting the side down. The cinematography, soundtrack and period detail are all of a very good standard too. So really when you take all of the above into account The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine is a pretty well put-together affair. I guess it all comes down to expectations; hardened fans (no pun intended) of this sub-genre want more sleaze basically. And although I am certainly not one to argue with that, I enjoyed this as a nicely put together exploitation movie.

Aaaah! The '70s - THE decade of the exploitation movie: Italian cannibal films, blaxploitation, Nazisploitation, and, of course, nunsploitation, of which The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine is a prime example. It's not the most explicit of naughty nun movies, but it does tick a lot of the expected boxes: hot nuns, sex, torture, a crazy abbess, lesbianism, and murder, making it a reasonably fun time for fans of the genre.

Clearly inspired by Romeo and Juliet, the plot sees lovers Lucita (Jenny Tamburi) and Esteban (Paolo Malco) unable to wed because of the long-running feud between their families. To make matters even worse, Lucita is sent to a covent by her father, while Esteban is accused of heresy and hunted by the Inquisition. Chased by three soldiers, Esteban is wounded, but still manages to kill his attackers and make his way to the convent where Lucita is living. Given sanctuary by the verger, Esteban is reunited with Lucita, but not for long... the poor woman is wrongly accused of the murder of her lesbian room-mate Josefa (Bruna Beani) and sentenced to be burned alive. Can Esteban prove her innocence before it is too late?

The naughtiness is limited to bare breasts and butts, and one rather tame sex scene - there's nothing quite on the level of dirty Joe D'amato or sleaze-master Jess Franco - but the women who shed their clothes are mostly attractive, with Tamburi as Lucita being especially sexy; it's no wonder Esteban is willing to risk his life for her. Likewise, the torture isn't too extreme - no nipple slicing or skin flaying on this occasion - but it suffices. Director Sergio Grieco keeps the pace lively throughout, leading to a tense race against time to rescue Lucita from a drooling horde of crazed topless nuns, with a happy ending for these particular star cross'd lovers.