Storm Trooper

Anyone who thinks Kool Moe Dee, Carol Alt, and Corey Feldman comprise a list of good actors must be smoking something I'd love to try sometime. Where to begin: lousy soundtrack, hammy acting, "action" in places. This is the typical amateurishly written hack fodder that washed-up has-been and never-was's love to star in. I actually felt embarrassed for the "stars" in this "film". The only thespian missing to top this turd was Gary Coleman, who if he would have been in the movie, would have made it at least somewhat howlingly bad, rather than just plain bad.

There was one part in the film where Carol Alt screamed, "DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?!?" Yes, Carol, I do, your agent does, and PLEASE for the love of all that is decent and holy... GO AWAY and stop degrading yourself like this! This film is something Anna Nicole Smith would take part in.

I would tell you what the plot was, but that would be one more sentence fragment to this article, plus my mind drifted many times during the movie anyway, so I barely paid attention.

Alright! A sci-fi/horror/action B-hybrid directed by Jim Wynorski and in the final scenes we get to see a cyborg with a defleshed metal head killing off multiple people! As with any Wynorski-flick, he throws in a whole bunch of crazy ideas and subplots that mostly don't lead to anywhere. But "Storm Trooper" is more like a two-movies-for-the-price-of-one kind of deal. On the one hand we got the drama/thriller part (as such the film opens) with Carol Alt killing her incredibly annoying & ungrateful husband (a plot that simply leads to nowhere). And on the other hand we got the 'escaped cyborg on a rampage' part, "Night of the Living Dead"-style. With Carol and the Cyborg being the ones trapped inside the house and a bunch of special OPs/bounty hunters playing the role of the zombies, trying to break into the house. Needless to say this flick is not up there with the greatest. Zach Galligan (of "Gremlins"-fame) especially is painfully bad and Corey Feldman (in a small supporting roll) is once again completely wasted on this movie. Wynorski even rips off one of his own movies here, since I am 99% sure he used some stock footage of his previous film "976 EVIL II" (the scene with the exploding truck and the motorcycle). Yes, it's so not good and so much fun. This is strictly for Wynorski-fans only. And I am one of them, in case you didn't know already.

An abused housewife (Carol Alt) receives a surprise visitor on a dark and stormy night when a man with amnesia (John Laughlin) shows up at her house. Searching for him is a government agent (Zach Galligan) who has hired the trigger happy team of a sadistic mercenary (Rick Hill). That might be trouble but the housewife and stranger have secrets of their own.

I don't want to go further into the plot as there are a couple of fun twists and surprises along the way. I've always liked Laughlin so it is cool to see him in a lead. He is quite physical in the role and there is one great single take shot where he takes out three members of the team that is really well done. Hill is also really good in his role as the no nonsense military guy and his intro where he is torturing a guy while being apologetic is great. A big surprise here is Alt, who gives a good performance that belies her model background. There is also an impressive motorcycle and semi-truck chase that may seem familiar to folks as it is taken from Wynorski's 976-EVIL II. Co-stars include Tim Abell, Corey Feldman (wearing an eye patch!), Rocky DeMarco, Jay Richardson, Ross Hagan, Kool Moe Dee, and John Terlesky. Yes, we get the first two Deathstalkers in Terlesky and Hill in the same film!

A very ambitious low-budget action, sci-fi, drama. Some of the other views are correct about this being bad, but it also happens to be very entertaining and interesting. Nearly everyone is miscast perfectly! Zach Galligan reunites with Gremlins/Round Trip to Heaven Co-Star Corey Feldman, although they never appear on screen together. I thought this movie would be bad bad, but it turned out to be very good bad. Watch it on a Sunday afternoon or late Saturday night. A fun b grade multi-genre film. I found it on Roku streaming for free. I was entertained! Very surprisingly so.

Normally for movie reviews, I try to be constructive and objective, but there is only one word for this, uh, "film" : SUCKS!!!!!!! The dialogue, acting, special effects, plot, set, and characters all seem as if they were made up by, well, my potted plants. Don't see this, for the sake of all that is good and right in this world! :)