Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell

this movie exemplifies all that is good, great, or otherwise in the genre of low budget horror. there is a norse god!!! send in the clowns!!! the bearded actor/genius in this piece(gore-met zombie chef) is the next larger version of luis de jesus, of "blood sucking freaks" fame. beautiful set design, great costume, excellent casting. a true work of art by any true B-movie fanatic's standards. bravo......

This movie is by far the worst one I have ever paid for. It looked like a group of out of work actors decided to pass the time by dressing up and filming each other. Please help me find the plot...I was too busy laughing at the special-effects to notice one. If anyone rents this movie do so understanding it is humorous at best - it should be free!

"Goremet" is an amateurish no-budget fan boy production that I thought (or hoped) would be gory and sleazy, but actually it's just very pathetic and boring. If you're going to bring homage to the genre of horror without any money or equipment to work with, at least making something that is fun and entertaining, like "The Dead Next Door" or "Bad Taste" for example. This is boring trash and easily one of the most unendurable things I've ever witnessed in my life. 85% of the film, and it's not even a very long one, is dull padding material like exaggeratedly overlong dance sequences and the showing of naked breasts of really unattractive women. There's absolutely no valid reason for "Goremet – Zombie Chef from Hell" to exist. The acting and directing are atrocious, the lighting and sound handling are embarrassing (for example: the sound of crickets overwhelms the sound of dialogs) and there isn't a single moment in the entire film that qualifies as even remotely memorable. There actually only are seven or eight scenes in the whole film and they're stretched endlessly. Also, even though it's barely a four-word title, I can name at least three things that are wrong with it. The titular character is not a zombie, he's definitely not from hell and he isn't even a real chef. He's more like a cocktail mixer who occasionally prepares snacks. I won't even bother annoying you with a plot summary for two reasons: A) because it's nonsensical rubbish and B) because I'm trying to forget it myself. This film is extreme torture and literally impossible to sit through without the consumption of heavy drugs.

Well, I feel like quite the sucker, don't I? Let me just start off by pointing out that Goremet Zombie Chef From Hell is a truly awesome title for a B-movie. That is not my opinion, that is an undisputed fact. If only I could think of one positive quality this film has going for it, then maybe I could feel like a little less of a fool for actually paying money for this steaming pile of awful. It's not like I expected a hell of a lot, but I had planned on buying it from Amazon for a long time, all the while, assuming some outlandish cult cinema awaited me. Now, I just feel like a moron for putting that much thought into it. I sat through the whole thing, and I honestly can't think of one word uttered, one plot twist, one single thing that happened. Just a bunch of talking. However, I did notice the music from the beginning. The very much stolen music, which is what gets under my skin the most, because I can't think of what movie it's from. So, that's it, eh? A title like that, and all I get is a bunch of talking, and an irritating mystery? It just never occurred to anyone to give something, to, somehow, back the title up with something to make someone, anyone want to watch this disappointment. By the way, if you're waiting for a description of this movie, it ain't happening. You got to watch out for these awesome-titled disappointments. Not too long ago, I came across a dud called Please Don't Eat The Babies. An intriguing title to say the least, so, naturally, I expected some form of outlandish humor, but no, not even close. And yeah, I am a little embarrassed by some of my recent choices for B-entertainment, but not nearly as much as some of these directors should be. Oh well, that's what I get for buying rare, low-budget Horror movies based only on the fact that they're rare. My advice would be to forget all about the Boremet sleep-aid from Hell, and go seek out something more worth while, like Teen Ape Goes To Camp, or Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. I don't know, you'd probably be better off not taking my advice, and just deciding for yourself. Just know, if you pursue this movie, you will regret it. 1/10

Where to begin... Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell won me over from the start. When I first set my eyes upon this little oddity on the shelf of the nearest b-movie retailer I knew I had to own a copy. Come on, "Gore-Met?" It doesn't get much better than that in b-horror, folks. Now some skeptics might say that this purchase was $30 wasted. I say...but how many people own this movie, exactly? Ok so maybe the movie itself cost less than $30 to make...sue me. This puts the b...in b-movie. They're on a budget for a reason. And you know something, if this movie was given a budget of let's say...the latest Vin Diesel movie...I'd say they just threw movie ethics right out the window. Higher budget does not ensue higher quality, or higher means of entertainment.

So let's talk about this quality factor for a few lines... Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell, did not fare well on it's one and only review here on IMDB. And this is understandably so. The acting was poor, the script stiff, the music repetitive, the plot sketchy...cheesy gore. Well you say potato and I say...yam.

Some may see this as negative feedback. I see this as positive attributes. Witness the art of b-movie magic: -Piss-poor acting and little character development -Nearly non-existant plot if not far-fetched at the least -pointless nudity -Laughable kill scenes -Gore, lots of it. -Oh, and let's not forget lack of adequate funding.

B-movies are sort of dangerous territory. Upon viewing we have to tip-toe around, having to decipher what's safe-playing ground. Ultimately, b-movies are judged by the masses. Once a b-movie is out to an appreciative public...it's eventually raised to cult status and BAM it's a classic. But obviously the masses aren't always in attendance, ie: Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell. I somehow doubt that this movie would elevate to cult status, given the opportunity. But I can say that myself, among others were highly entertained. And while some cringe at the thought of having to swallow their pride long enough to enjoy a b-movie for what it's worth, I'd say that judging by the latest chart-toppers we've swallowed a lot worse.