Golden Apples of the Sun

Since the lowest option is a rating of 1, that's what it gets but it deserves far, far less. This movie is unadulterated crap. Zero plot, zero horror, zero acting. To put it simply, it sucked mule.

The "cage" is a dilapidated, falling apart, outdoor, chicken wired cage and one person was tied loosely with twine as his girlfriend got busy with their abductors. The ending was non-existent as the movie should be.

If you watch this movie trust me when I say you will be begging for that slice of your life back, currently I am flogging myself for the poor judgment in deciding to "check it out". Life is precious, too precious to throw away on this flick.

One positive note, the location was nice. I plan scathing emails to the actors, directors and producers of this film for creating it. Shame on them.

When I was in school I made a film about a couple roaming around in the trees and talking, and I realized halfway through editing that this was not just a failing aesthetic strategy but a cliché of Canadian cinema: sodden lyricism married to vacant, metaphor-burdened stabs at social commentary. But whatever my own film's failings I feel much better after seeing this...this...thing. For one thing, mine ran 20 minutes, not 85, and had more content at that: every pointless bit of business here is fawned over for four, five, six relentless minutes. The male lead is just incredible, a brow-beating, loudmouthed creep given to outbursts of drama-class improv in between philosophical insights culled from the U of T pub, and he is given lots and lots of space to make us hate him. Admittedly if he weren't such an a**hole then the third act would make even less sense, as a couple snarky dudes show up to provide distant and thoroughly unhelpful echoes of 'exploitation' values; but it doesn't make it any easier to watch the caged creep whimper "please" in closeup until the magazine runs out. I take back what I said about AUTUMN BORN, which at least had the courage of its own misbegotten lechery: this cinematic crater is and will remain the very worst Canadian movie of all time. At least, I really really hope so.

Watching paint dry is more compelling and twice as engaging. An academy award should be given to anyone who can sit through this snooze fest with out yawning. If Seinfeld was a television sitcom about nothing, then this was the movie about nothing. Unlike Seinfeld however this film did not have great writing and acting to make it work. Within the first five minutes I had the feeling that I was watching a movie made by four people with nothing else to do one afternoon. There is no plot! The viewer is left to guess what the plot was so as to justify the time wasted in watching. The acting is bad; no it would have to improve to be bad. Elizabeth Suzuki gets naked but even that was ruined by poor filming. I would recommend this film be required viewing for film students. It would prove that no matter how bad your student projects suck, there is always something worse that went straight to video.

At first,this movie seems so bad that i almost fell in a trance the first time i saw it.It was like a bad dream.A cosmic bore.But i gave it a second chance,then another and another,etc...I finally got addicted to this film,due to it's dreamlike slow pace,wonderful natural sets,bathed in a mellow autumn light and especially the musical score,which is made of some 70's progressive rock and absolute exquisite folk songs by actor/singer/songwriter Derek Lamb(the Troubadour).You should notice the song about hazel wood,silver trout and lady vanishing in the air...,heard in the middle and near the end of the film.There are some carnal scenes in the beginning ,wich allow us to appreciate the natural charms of Elizabeth Suzuki.If that movie had been made by some "repertoire" directors like Bergman,Lars Von Triers or Jean-Luc Goddard,critics would have rolled on the floor,raving about that movie as if it were a cosmic masterpiece.I personally think this film is one million times superior to any of Fellini's cinematic sh#¤@t!Definitely not for the pretentious.

Without question one of the most embarrassing productions of the 1970s, CAGED TERROR reveals a curious determination to become something insightful or important as it reaches in futility for a leg of Bergman's monogram earthy key elements. The tragic upshot is such a wispy, self-aggrandizing display of thin air that it nearly succeeds as a Bergman lampoon. To its credit, however, it does have a nice look to it, being artfully lensed in scenic woodsy environs. Also, it's as relaxing as two glasses of wine and half a Quaalude.

The story(?) denotes the budding romance of a young hippie city couple as they spend a sunny afternoon making the nature scene in a deep forest. They walk along a shady path, apparently desperate to outdo each other in a bizarre duel of random verbal evasions. They exchange bits of insanely over-the-top, lofty discourse which sound like the idle chatter of a U.C. Berkeley coffee klatsch...you'll be howling over tarradiddle such as "I feel that life itself is made up of as many tiny compartments as this pomegranate....but is it as beautiful?". Following what seems like an eternity of this grandiose sermonizing and a noticeable lacking of occurrences, we succumb to a VERY anticlimactic confrontation involving a pair of folk-singing 'Nam vets who proceed to lock our non-hero inside a chicken-coop while having-at-it with his girl.

Aside from some obligatory nudity and soft sex, nothing eventful or interesting happens IN THIS ENTIRE FILM, and its enfeebled crusade to draw the viewer "into a brown study" is strained and insincere. I thought the Larry Buchanan picture STRAWBERRIES NEED RAIN(1970) was a weak example of a Bergman homage...CAGED TERROR is somehow worse than that film, largely due to the ceaseless onslaught of flatulent verbiage.

1.5/10...one of the worst films I've seen in my entire pomegranate.