Hard Candy

Okay, first of all let's just say that there is seldom (if ever)"good" porn--I've yet to encounter anyone who watches these films for their fine artistic quality, so let's get that "Oh, this is so bad!" out of the way.

Although this movie is terribly amateurish, chaotic and lacks any real plot devices (I wonder if they just made up a lot of it as they went along) I think that we need to look at how the porn industry was different back in the 70's--first of all there was no home video, to speak of and there were probably a lot of perverts out there watching this in a theatre, not at home, so I figure they'd try and make it halfway entertaining--and I use that term loosely. But where do you draw the line between non-sexual subplots (read: a waste of time) and a little dialogue to get us to the sex scenes?

We could have avoided the 3 guys looking for the gates of Troy (I thought they might be going for a gay subplot[we have 2 of them playing cards on the beach in their Speedos!], but alas, no....)and the one portly fellow (who looked like he could've been Ron Jeremy's uncle)in the bad pajamas/bunny outfit.

3-D is never a good idea; especially when it doesn't work all that effectively and they put too much effort to remind the viewer that stuff is coming at us (other than the sex scenes). Do I really want a point of view from the inside of a trash can? No.

This movie was good for a laugh--the music, hairstyles of the 70's [both north AND south! LOL], but my main complaint was that is was WAY too long at close to 2 hours, I was nodding off at this midnight show. It was also pretty novel to be in a public theatre watching porn with a bunch of strangers and not in the privacy of my own home! All that nervous laughter at the first scene--but who can blame the patrons when they are given no warning and then BAM--there it is on a BIG screen in 3-D!

Worth a late night laugh with some good friends...recommended with reservations.

This was released as a midnight movie only in a mainstream theatre here in MA back in the 1990s. It was unrated but no one under 17 was admitted (meaning it was X rated). Loving 3-D effects (and being old enough to get in) I decided to take a chance and see it. Bad mistake!

For starters despite the X rating the hardcore sex was (obviously) cut down to nothing. It wasn't any more explicit than an R rated film! The plot didn't make a bit of sense (something about people sucking on lollipops), the color was VERY faded and, to be nice, the 3-D effects were abysmal. The cast was attractive enough but after a half hour of badly edited sex, terrible 3-D and no plot whatsoever I had a headache and had just had it. I walked out--and I wasn't alone. About 3 other guys left the same time I did and we kept talking about how terrible the film was. We ended up sneaking into the "Rocky Horror Picture Show":) Boring, pointless with bad 3-D and faded color. Also what was the POINT of showing an X rated film with all the sex scenes cut out??? You can skip this one.

Released and made money as LOLLIPOP GIRLS IN HARD CANDY in 1976 and re-edited with new footage as M: THE 3-D MOVIE, this pointless garbage is barely watchable. The adult porn star appears in a tacked-in scene and the print doesn't match. The film basically has a nerd scientist who create this sex formula is this over long film (running time was 100+ minutes, or it seems like it). This was shown near a campus in Seattle, and lots of College guys tasteless took their dates to it. Too bad they showed a cut version for their dates would've realized how depraved their boyfriends are and left them. They kept laughing the edited hardcore scene, for it ran like a comic simulation because it was cut. Kind of wish John Holmes did his thing on screen, and make the co-eds run out of the theates and leaving the Jock boyfriends baffled. Variety once listed this film made more than 5 million in box-office rentals. I guess alot of people got ripped off seeing it. Not recommended.

This B-movie 70's at it's finest. Where else can you experience lollipop-crazed nypho's, beautiful sex scenes in a meadow, weird science voodoo, a soundtrack so groovy you'll want to start break dancing, and to top it off------ in not two, but three dimensions! Even if you're a catholic school girl, you ought to check this one out. Good luck finding it. It was reissued in 1991, but is now out of print. If you live in a big city, you might be lucky enough to find it being played at your local independent theatre.

I couldn't disagree (respectfully) with the previous review more. I saw this movie in a theater and the crowd was unanimously pleased with it. It's absolutely hilarious. There's something wonderful about vintage 70s porno that the smut of today totally lacks. Yes, there's bush, but it's easy to get over (if it bothers you at all). It's a totally enjoyable movie with a completely different feel than any other porno I've ever seen. And if you've never seen Mr. Holmes before, well, you'll know him when you see it. It's basically a Pringles can. If this film fails to turn you on, you'll at least leave it with a stomach sore from laughing. I'd love to see it again if I could find it. Sigh...