Dear Throat

There are a few strange elements to DEAR THROAT, a poorly made and transparent attempt to ride the coat-tails of Damiano's hit DEEP THROAT. Chief mystery is why that earlier classic's co-star Carol Connors is presented here -looking beautiful - but given nothing whatsoever to do.

Actual anonymous heroine of DEAR is an unattractive brunette portraying "Miss Throat", a sexual Dear Abby who predates Dr. Ruth by at least a decade. Connors is her secretary, opening letters from a troubled public and duly reciting them (no memorization of lines required) while her boss gives blow jobs and then dictates inane suggestions to her loyal fans.

Miss T's daughter is an 18-year-old cutie named Doris who drives around town in a convertible. Awkwardly inserted parallel story involves one Johnny Walsh, a timid 21-year- old who leaves his parents' home in the sticks to take a bus to the big city. Doris bumps into him and discovering that he has only $6 and no place to stay invites him home to her spare room in mom T's house.

Scene where mom, daughter and Johnny meet at home establishes the film's oddest image: He's a very tall guy but Miss T looks to be about 4'9" standing next to Doris and him. That was perhaps the only interesting moment out of 68 minutes of running time for me.

Gimmick, not up to Damiano's creation, is that Miss T needs lubrication for her throat, so a steady stream of guys (which she pays for, Connors doing the bookkeeping) have to sit still for her blow jobs as she "works" at answering the public's letters, dictating (between slurps) to stenographer Connors. Carol looks so beautiful here she would be a show-stopper if in fact she were called upon to disrobe (nary a button gets unbuttoned) or have sex (unthinkable!) here. It reminded me a bit of her later audience-baiting (and disappointing) non-hardcore performance in the western SWEET SAVAGE, which capitalized on her name.

Subplot has familiar porn actor Marc Brock as a guy whose wife won't give him head, so he's a natural for blow jobs from Miss T. Brock's comedic and improv skills threaten to surface but he is hamstrung by the movie's rigid and boring structure.

Central scene late at night has horny Miss T accosting her tall new boarder with hand job and blow job while he sleeps. He wakes up but plays dumb, though when she's been satisfied and leaves he laughs uproariously, giving away the stupid film's "surprise" ending.

This garbage is completely ruined by the casting of diminutive Miss T. Most of the footage is her boring blow jobs in close-up but she has no technique and is so unappealing that when it comes time for Brock's big money shot in her mouth, one-shot incompetent filmmaker "P. Arthur Murphy" splices in a huge-breasted, big-nippled woman jerking off a different cock in slow-motion with fountains of cum ejected vertically. This 2-second highlight is all the fans get for their $5 (or whatever the going rate was at the theaters booking this crap).

A barely intelligent auteur would have done a rewrite and made Connors the titular lead, instantly exploitable as promoting the second banana from DEEP THROAT to star status in this ripoff. Sure she's too young to be Doris's mama, but I said rewrite or eliminate the blood-related daughter role entirely.