Soccer Dog

This stinker is in mystifyingly frequent rotation on one channel here, and I've found myself watching in horror again and again. The script is like something one would come up with friends over several too many drinks, and the production values match admirably.

It's meant to be a children's movie, but features a grotesque (and poorly explained) kidnapping scene; the star dog has a lack of star quality equaled only by the other actors; and it in general has the look of being filmed in someone's backyard (the climactic soccer game features no more than three dozen extras sadly cheering in the background).

It even all wraps up with a budget-ran-out voice-over sequence when the story, to one's relief, simply stops. The high-raters here must be either the producers - or the majority of the extras from the soccer game!

THE worst movie I've ever seen, and I've seen allot. Acting is horrible, plot is awful, idea is terrible, and no research was done what's so ever! Ok, I admit, `Air Bud' was a pretty good movie, but not `Soccer Dog'. This "dog" is smaller than my cat! How can he possibly play soccer? Even for 10 years old kids it won't be a problem to kick the ball hard enough to brake the stupid dog in half! It's horrible, don't watch this movie.

Loving couple adopt an orphan from a local orphanage. Alden tries to bond with his son by getting him involved in a local soccer team. However the team is poorly coached and can't win any games. When Clay's dog turns out to be a natural player he is put in the first team (at the expense of Clay) causing rifts in the team. With the team on a great cup run and the town gone Lincoln mad everything seems fine. However Clay feels neglected and a dog catcher seeks to catch Lincoln who have previously escaped him.

It's not a great premise at all, but with enough tongue in cheek humour this could have been pretty funny. The story is rubbish and the core of it is dull. The main bit relates to tension between Clay and his dad, and a rivalry between Clay and another team. Both these bits are dull and nothing new. However what is enjoyable is the occasional streak of adult jokes that come up.

The film's comedy come from the characters that represent various films. We have the mobster type father (just like Paulie from Goodfellas), we have the coach of one of the teams who rips off the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket, we have one of the players who talks like Vince Vaughn in Swingers – and we have a familiar face from Blazing Saddles and a referee who looks like Tony Blair! We also have a few scenes that spoof other films – the best being Ransom – but most of it isn't very good.

Foley is OK as Clay but Marshall is dull as the dad. McMurray is funny as the coach and the various film spoof characters are pretty funny. However the main characters are dull and Billy Drago has nothing to do and doesn't carry much menace. The scenes of the dog playing football are daft too, and not well done – the dog either follows a ball that is obviously being dragged in front of it or they use an absurd computer generated ball instead.

Overall this has plenty of funny characters but the core is really dull making this worth watching once, but don't expect it to be that good.

SOCCER DOG: THE MOVIE provides fun, diverting viewing for kids, while sneaking in some sly comedy for their parents. Sure, it's a low-budget AIR BUD for the foreign market, but it doesn't pretend to be anything else. I feel a little sorry for the viewer who expected "research"-- a little sorry, but not much more. As for the viewer complaining that all the adult characters were "baffoons," perhaps he meant to say "baboons" or "buffoons." Stars Marshall and D'Abo give credible performances. And while many of the supporting adult characters are indeed broadly-drawn, they do their jobs and get some laughs. And the kid and his dog are very effective. I watched SOCCER DOG with my young niece. She loved it, and she's watched it since. The movie entertained her

OK... yes, it's a movie about a dog playing soccer. Yes, its attempts at portraying a very evil dog catcher fall flatter than every opposing soccer player seems to when the dog comes their way. And yes, most of its attempts at humor fail.

However, if you go out and rent a movie like this or watch it on TV expecting a masterpiece, what universe are you living in? Has any movie about animals playing sports ever really been that great? Apologies to all of the Air Bud fans out there, but even that movie wasn't all that great, and it's the Godfather of animal athlete movies. So, if you're holding Soccer Dog up to the standards set by other movies like it, you will find that it is actually fairly decent.

A man named Alden, once an orphan, is now happily married and living in a soccer-crazed town called Crocker. However, since he was once an orphan, he feels that it is his duty to adopt from the same orphanage. In comes Clay, the shy, chronically depressed young boy they adopt. This movie spends a little too much time being melodramatic with the attempt at chronicling the difficulties of parenting, but oh well. Clay joins the soccer team at his father's request, becoming the laughing stock of his team and the opposing team for his ignorance of the game they hold sacred. Just when all hope seems lost for Clay to fit in, he finds a dog. What happens? Lincoln happens to score a goal during a game and quickly becomes the town's biggest sensation since the sport of soccer was invented.

My favorite character in this whole movie would have to be the coach. I think he may save some of the movie with his "stand-out" humor, meaning he is the only one who is truly funny. Fans of old Nickelodeon TV shows may also recognize the referee as the head counselor from "Salute Your Shorts", making it even more enjoyable. And no movie is complete without a David Hasselhoff joke, and even Soccer Dog pulls that off.

All in all, not a bad attempt at a genre that never should have happened in the first place. 7/10