Beowulf

When i rented this movie a couple of nights ago i expected to see just what i saw so i can´t blame anyone but myself. This movie is pretty weird really. It´s a sort of neo-fantasy movie with knights living in a castle with steam-engines, body-bags with zippers and rotating chainsaw-weapons. A strange mix to say the least. But i could have lived with that.

The problem with this movie is not with the scenery which is pretty ok, it´s not with the special effects which are ok. It´s rather with the total lack of a plot, the lack of good action coreography and last but definetly not least the lack of good acting! The actors in this movie where horrible... Of course Christopher Lambert was his usual non-inspired boring self, but all the other actors were also stiff and boring. The monster was actually the most interesting character... The monster was at least pretty good with a nice look. But that couldn´t save this movie in any way. Also a note at the music which wasn´t all bad, it just shouldn´t have been in this movie. In a fantasy movie i don´t want to hear a pumping techno-track, not even in a neo-fantasy movie!

All things considered i think this was a cheap, not very exciting and very forgettable movie. It may thrill a lot of 12-year olds, but for the rest of the people i recommend something with a bit more style, plot and acting. I rate this a 3/10 for trying.

This was my first exposure to Beowulf, so I didn't find my views of the film coloured by the closeness (or lack thereof) of the plot or anything of that sort. Just had to point that out since I find peoples reviews of adaptations are usually heavily based on source material. First thing I want to point out is that the "futuristic setting" barely comes into play. If you're expecting a big sci-fi film, or avoiding the film because of the sci-fi you should know that the only real futuristic elements are a high tech telescope, a castle that doesn't even look like anything, and the pizza cutter of doom wielded by one of the extras. I suppose the soundtrack gives it a sci-fi type feel, since it makes use of a lot of techno. Unfortunately I found the soundtrack quite uneven. Some of it was good and suited to the scene, some of it was so bad I turned on subtitles and muted my TV. Most of the soundtrack just had me thinking "do I know this song or did they just rip off a song I know?" The music wasn't the only uneven thing though, some of the acting in this film was atrocious. Lambert manages to keep his wry charm, Rhona Mitra was quite impressive, and Layla Roberts was good at what little she had to work with. Everyone else ran the spectrum from mediocre (the king... was he a king... I was kinda lost on that) to something that looked like the role was filled by the first hobo they could find (the assistant weapons master). Fight choreography was sadly lacking, so don't expect an awesome action flick. The monsters were kind of lame, so don't count on oohing and aahing at the effects. In truth, this film had the potential to be very great as a bad film but the few descent actors and good bits to the soundtrack raised the bar so it was mostly just bad. Personally, I like Christopher Lambert and I like bad movies, so I liked it... just not as much as I could have with a bit of tweaking.

We screened this movie in a club as an example of how classic literature can become twisted into some of the most awful movies of all time. Just the fact that the back of the box proudly proclaimed the plot to be set in the "techno-futile" future should have been enough of a hint. I think that word describes the movie itself, because no matter how much technology they tried to use to save this movie, the effort was completely futile. Not to mention that our club advisor told us that it allegedly couldn't get a distributor for two years.

This cinematic failure is littered with cheesy, cliche dialogue that's worse than angsty teen poetry. Beowulf's character changes halfway through in a way that is in no way credible, and whenever he's in an action scene, he's constantly flipping like a hyper gymnast. There is even, as they say, a "token black guy" whose attempts at humor are completely out of place. And, of course, the daughter of the leader of the outpost Grendel is terrorizing is a total vixen. A vixen whose breasts are exposed throughout the entire movie. A vixen who wants to fight the creature, yet she never puts on armor. And her weapon of choice is a little carving knife. And despite their dire situation, she still dresses up for dinner, in a dress with a see-through skirt that exposes her short-shorts underwear. There are a couple scenes that could pass as soft core pornography, and in the second scene they even reuse footage from the first. I thought the portrayal of Grendel was bad enough, but then came the end of the film, which featured a display of CGI that might be decent for the 80s, but is totally ridiculous for a late 90s venture. I could go on, but you all should watch this film for the fully laughable effect yourselves.

The other club members and I did manage to have fun watching this by taking a cue from MST 3K and mocking it the whole way through. I'm still reeling from an extra's weapon: a perpetually spinning pizza cutter on a pole.

I liked this movie. At some points I was wondering "What's with the music?" and "Is this with the time period?" stuff like that. Kyra, to me, was an over-feminest, big cleaveged woman, wearing pants. Now, I'm not a historian nor do I actually know enough, but I thought women didn't wear pants in the 6th century. If I am wrong, I stand corrected, but that doesn't sound right to me. Beowulf's leather outfit reminded me of a Keanu Reeves wannabe. Grendel's mother is a Pamela Anderson look~a~like who would make a better porn star than a real actor.

Alright, so it may sound like I hate this movie, but I did like it. I never read Beowulf, but plan on doing it, eventually, so my opinion on this movie is based on seeing it alone.

Overall: 6 1/2 out of 10.

I've heard many things about Beowulf, maybe because i'm from Romania and a good part of the movie was filmed here, in my country. And i expected a lot from this film. At the end, i was disappointed. It is not as horrible as other users said, but it's definetely bad. It's all about a monster killing people in a 6th century castle and Lambert the one who comes to kill him. Lambert is good, as he is in all his roles, but the rest of the characters suck, and the action isn't too good either. Plus maybe the only thing that could've saved this film, the special effects, are also very bad, the monster looks awful (not scary, but awful). Oh and another bad thing: the music. The movie tries, and manages to create the 6th century atmosphere. But all the action sequences are presented on rock music, which is very very bad. I mean action on rock works perfectly on a movie like Charlie's Angels - where that's the perfect way to shoot your action. But here, that was a very bad idea.

Vote: 4 out of 10.