Barney's Great Adventure

Unlike the TV show, which is quite good for kids 2-4, this film is inappropriate for just about anybody. Very young children will be lost in the plot. And I don't really want to subject my child to slapstick humor (e.g. the sullen boy accidentally stepping on a cow pie).

What can I say about Barney the purple dinosaur ? Lots of things and none of them good . Apparently Barney is a role model for young children and shows them how live , should behave and how to do the right thing . According to Barney creator Kathy Parker a young child woke her family after a fire broke out since an episode of BARNEY AND FRIENDS warned children about the danger of fire . I'm just sort of guessing that human beings have an instinctive fear of fire so the credit of a child waking her family should be down to her basic instinct - Not something she saw on a television show

As you imagine this feature length film starts with a sugary sweet sequence of young children and a baby being driven to their grandparents house and the story continues in the same vein . " Oh little children . Aren't they sweet . Isn't life wonderful etc " is the expected response from the parents watching this but any person child or adult with critical faculties will be telling asking themselves " Are we being manipulated here ? Are we supposed to enjoy it because it's so innocent ? " to which the answer is a resounding YES . We're being emotionally blackmailed and if you don't like this patronising crap then you must be an evil person , you're not allowed to criticise the pathetic and badly choreographed song and dance numbers or the fact that that for a film with the word adventure in the title there's nothing resembling adventure

I have to be honest and say that I feel very , very sorry for children whose parents make them watch this . My own childhood adventure revolved around Saturday nights when I watched DOCTOR WHO and I think I can speak for everyone in the western world when I say sadistic monsters made out of condoms by the BBC are far more interesting than a man dressed up as a purple dinosaur

One of the beautiful things about childhood is that cynicism has not yet crept into our view of the world. Children have no frame of reference for new experiences, and so they appreciate those experiences as wonderful and react to them with delight.

The preceding paragraph explains why your children love Barney, and why you hate it. There is no need to belabor the point. The important question is, what makes this Barney movie different from a typical Barney television episode?

Difference number one: The replacement of children who can't act with children who can. Granted, they don't have much of a script to work with, but work with it they do, giving a modicum of life to characters that are essentially, like all characters in Barney stories, cardboard.

Difference number two: An injection of...get ready...production values! Have you watched Barney on television lately? Or ever? Did you notice the missed cues, poor timing, blown lines, and incessant hamming? Did you ever wonder if the director was familiar with the term "retake"? Fear not, because Barney's Great Adventure gives you an edited script, rudimentary choreography, and even one or two in-jokes for the benefit of Mom and Dad (something Sesame Street and Bear in the Big Blue House always seem to get right instinctively).

But the important question is, does it matter? And the answer is a resounding "no." My three-year-old sat enraptured throughout the movie, as your three-year-old will, hardly taking time to breathe or blink. When it was over, she wanted to watch it again. She cried when I said three times in two days was enough. Just like she has done with every other Barney video we have ever rented or owned.

Is Barney's Great Adventure a good movie? No. Is it passable? I guess so. Should you rent it for your child? Of course. Just pop it in the VCR and go cook a nice dinner for your family. I guarantee you won't be interrupted.

Barney the Dinosaur on television is tolerable. At least it has some educational value. This film, however, smokes the proverbial pole like few other children's films ever have. It is almost as if the producers wanted to see what an entire movie made of first takes would look like. The children are insipid, the adult actors were probably hired from casting calls at community theaters or special needs living facilities and the Dino-characters are more annoying than the squeakiest Pokemon you could imagine. This is a perfect example of an opportunity to make a good film out of an already successful television character squandered by lazy production and lack of funding. You would likely get more use from 5 dollars by eating it than spending it on this DVD.

Though its budget and production values are a tad too low, the production team should be congratulated for what they've achieved here. It isn't a bad children's musical, and has our toddlerette captivated. The simplicity of the story is a good thing for her, as are all the colours - it's a very colourful film. And there some nice little touches, like the guy cooking in his truck, the Chez Snobbe restaurant, the juggler, and the library scene, where the set design is excellent. The child actors do a good job, too.

So, not really good enough for anyone over five, but great fun for the little ones.