On the 2nd Day of Christmas

"On the 2nd Day of Christmas" is absolute torture. It is the cinematic equivalent of coal in your stocking. Here is a movie so unpleasant and manipulative that you will have to take a cold shower just to remove the swarminess.

I have never disliked a Christmas movie so much. It tries to shamelessly manipulate our feelings. This is the kind of movie that Roger Ebert would describe as "taking tears by liposuction". That's how desperate these filmmakers are to move us. Well, it moved me. Off the couch at the halfway point. I usually sit through an entire movie, no matter how bad. But an hour and 10 minutes of this tripe was more than I could bear.

With a more organized and thoughtful screenplay, this could have been a good movie. But this script has several fatal flaws. First, there are no sympathetic or likable characters. When by the twenty minute mark, you want to throw your female lead out the window, you know you're in trouble. Second, the film is overly predictable. We know what's going to happen and sure enough, I successfully predicted everything that happened after the opening ten minutes. Third, the performances feel by the numbers. There's no life or flavor, just routine unpleasantness.

Do yourself a favor. Instead of wasting two hours of your life, read a book, do a jigsaw puzzle, go out for a walk. Just don't watch this movie.

zero stars (out of four)

Bert (Mark Ruffalo) comes from a family of police officers and had aspirations for the profession himself. Unfortunately, his eyes are not perfect enough for the job. Therefore, he has settled into a security guard's position in a major department store. Meanwhile, Trish (Mary Stuart Masterson) and her niece Patsy run street cons where they pickpocket and trick folks out of their wallets. The duo comes to Bert's store where they endeavor to take a gentleman's wallet. But, Bert spies the action. Despite Trish saying that she was merely trying to find the owner of the wallet, the store owner orders her and her niece to the authorities. Yet, its Christmas Eve, as Bert points out. The image of the store will suffer to have a CHILD arrested on the holiday. Therefore, the owner commands Bert to take the two back to his, Bert's, apartment and keep an eye on the them until the day AFTER Christmas. Ho ho ho, this should be fun. Trish and Patsy try to run away at least a couple of times, but Bert matches wits with them. Since the two adults are single and good-looking, can a thief and a guard fall for each other? You bet! This sweet, somewhat derivative film has two attractive, talented lead actors who carry the film along nicely. All other actors, including Howard Hesseman, are fine while the film has good sets, costumes, and plot concepts. Are you the type who loves holiday romances? This one will work its warm and fuzzy charm on you.

When I first read the overview of this movie I thought that it sounded familiar. I checked my Christmas movies and it turned out that Remember the Night from 1940 written by Preston Sturges was the film. Here is IMDb's overview of that film which starred Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray "Just before Christmas, Lee Leander is caught shoplifting. It is her third offense. She is prosecuted by John Sargent. He postpones the trial because it is hard to get a conviction at Christmas time. But he feels sorry for her and arranges for her bail, and ends up taking her home to his mother for Christmas" And once again they fall in love... If you enjoyed "On the 2nd Day of Christmas" then you might enjoy this older B&W film with a similar theme.

This is absolutely one of my all-time favorite movies. Ever since it came out in 1997, "On the 2nd Day of Christmas" has aired on television every year, and I have yet to miss it. It's such a great movie. Mary Stuart Masterson and Mark Ruffalo have such a great chemistry on-screen. It's a cute storyline and a truly enjoyable film. This one's a definite must-see!

I thought that the movie was cute and heartfelt. I thought of it more than a romance. Of course, the movie was as predictable as can be. You felt bad for the little girl. The ending to the movie was pretty funny. The way that the security guard kept having all kinds of things happen to him while he was in charge of watching the woman and the little girl. I wish that they would make more movies like this. They need to come out with more holiday movies like this. Mary Stuart Masterson was excellent in the movie. Mark Ruffalo was sort of a Scrooge type in the movie, but played it very well. I wish they would bring the movie out on DVD. Two Thumbs Up!