The Screentest Girls

The plot is simple: Sleazy producer advertises to girls looking to be Hollywood stars but tells them to do a "Screen Test" when in fact he is using them for a movie. Of course the Screen Test & movie is just a stag film, circa 1969. The script was probably less than five pages, written in ten minutes or less. Lots of complete nudity on the girls parts some in close-up but nothing for the man. But the gorilla is nude. There are Four girls in total. Several scenes. One includes a man. One includes a gorilla. Really. OK its really a man playing a gorilla but that isn't made clear in the movie. But really all is just an excuse for the girls to be naked and roll around in bed or on the floor. Even if you want to watch nude girls there are much better choices most everywhere. There is really little more. One brief scene with one girl semi-nude talking to a film Editor. Last scene is the Director explaining how he used the girls. Then the movie ends.But you can save yourself 65 minutes and not even watch this movie.

When boys go into puberty they dream and fantasize all day. About girls, of course. And mainly about how to get the girls out of their clothes quickly. One of the ways is of course: imagine yourself to be a famous movie director or movie producer. Girls will line up to take off their clothes for you! And you can make them do whatever you like. I think all adult men will remember this dream from their own past.

Now here is Zoltan G. Spencer. He is an adult, but still remembers his dreams from way back. So, he makes a movie about his dream. He is not only the director, but the producer as well and is an actor in this one. And there are a lot of girls and they all take their clothes off. Oh boy, did he have a good time.

The same can not be said for the movie fans. There is no story at all. We are confronted with nudity 99.99% of the time. There are very few real sex scenes and these are done in a very particular way, typical of 1969: female genitals are shown, male genitals are never shown. The acting is irritatingly bad. Sometimes bad acting makes you laugh out loudly, but here it only annoys you. There is one scene where an ape tortures and rapes a girl. Rarely have I seen any this clumsily made. Maybe the fans of the worst of the worst get a laugh out of that scene, but alas, not me.

This movie is a real stinker. And of course was put on video by Something Weird Video, the one firm in the world that never lets us down. They just keep on digging in the trash bins of the movie industry. And for their standards this is a jewel. For all real movie fans this should have been undiscovered. Trash bins do have a purpose, you know!