Death House

Quite honestly, this has to be one of the worst films I have ever put myself through. I didn't even make it through the halfway mark, and that's saying something, considering I have watched some pretty dreadful films. I don't think the filmmakers even knew what kind of film they wanted to make. A mobster drama, or a horror film. It plays as both. The former taking up a good third of the film. So, my advice... avoid it unless you want to give up and hour and a half of your life, that you will never get back. Granted, John Saxon is a wonderful actor. But his talent as a director leaves a lot to be desired. Oh, and one more thing, the $1000 Shock Insurance Certificate that was included with the DVD, should be used to provide the first person who dies of boredom, not shock while viewing this awful film.

A zombie B-movie about an outbreak taking place in a prison where the authorities have been conducting illegal experiments on the inmates. This one feels like it was inspired by both RE-ANIMATOR and DAY OF THE DEAD yet proves to be a far cry from either; in fact, it's quite tedious. Early gangster material gives way to more horror focus in the second half, but apart from a bit of gore it doesn't really do much with the premise. John Saxon directs and has a smallish role.

I really wanted to like this movie. It has a nice prison setting, conspiracy theories, bloodthirsty zombies, a perfectly hideous 80s-touch and it is a directorial effort by actor John Saxon, who also plays a bad (you guessed it) a bad guy. It reminds me of some (beloved) Italian horror flicks. But the direction is very wooden and there is no nightmarish/frightening moment in there. It just goes on and on and on, and then it (logically) has to end. More suspense and more daring visuals and its destiny as a cult classic would have been sealed.

Alright, well for a movie from 1987, this was surprisingly lame. I had expected somewhat more in the horror and perhaps even gore category.

Now, the idea of having a zombie viral outbreak in a prison might have seemed good on script paper, but failed to shine through on the screen. Maybe that was because you never really buy into the prison atmosphere in this movie. Everything is just a little bit too cozy, and there are surprisingly few guards for a prison of this size.

Anyway, the movie stands out from many other zombie movies, in an odd way, as the zombies here seem to be alive, but decomposing. They are capable of talking and acting fairly coherently. That sort of killed the mood for me. A zombie is not a dead person just behaving fairly much like when alive, except for having a hunger for flesh. No, a zombie is a shell of the former self, devoid of life and soul (if one believes in that). So I never really bought the zombie scenario presented here.

As for the acting, well... Most of it was tolerable, but nothing astounding to be found here. Except for maybe the woman playing the lady they brought into the prison from the outside. Wow, it was physically painful to watch her performance.

Moving on to the gore and effects. Well, given the movie is quite old by now, the effects are, of course, way out of date. But I am sure that by standards back in 1987, these were believable and scary to watch. Just keep that in mind, because today they are not really all that believable.

The good part of the movie is that the story is fairly straight going, and keeps going at a good pace. It doesn't become overly dull so that you want to get up and leave.

I had expected a tad more from this movie, despite it being old. I would have rated it as 2, but given it is a zombie movie, my heart gets all soft and mushy, so 3 out of 10. This is a movie that you sit down to watch if you are a hardcore zombie fan, like myself. Otherwise, you might be bored out of your mind sitting through this.

After mob boss Vic Moretti (late great Anthony Franciosa) kills his lady whom has been cheating on him with Derek, their new chauffeur/ Vietnam vet, and blames it on the poor guy, Derek finds himself in jail where he has to contend with a corrupt warden, Vic's prisoner brother who runs the jail, and, oh yeah illegal experiments conducted by a shady CIA agent (great genre-mainstay and first time director John Saxon) to turn various prisoners into super-human invincible zombies. Of course things get out of hand and it's up to Derek, and the rest of the unchanged prisoners, to save the day after the infected ones take the jail over.

John Saxon is a great talented actor & as a director Saxon is a... great talented actor. To say this movie (John's sole directorial outing to date) lacks a certain visual flair would be a bit of an understatement. However, the film isn't totally without merit. The dialog, while idiotic, is just bad enough to be humorous sometimes. Sadly, this isn't really enough for the movie to coast by on that alone and it takes forever for the film to even start coming into it's own (which is fairly late in the movie). As such, the most I can recommend this film is to say that if you're a fan of Saxon (which I indeed am), it's worth one watch, just go in with low expectations and you should be fine.

Eye Candy: Dana Lis Mason and Tane McClure get topless

My Grade: D+