Night Train to Murder

A will to be read at midnight, a maniac made up to look like the Phantom of the Opera, all the heirs being murdered, and Morecombe and Wise.

Eric Morecombe is even reading the story of what's going on in a cheap book, which pastiches a bunch of mysteries of the 1940s. They're playing a couple of mediocre music hall song-and-dance men, and there's a lot of potential in this TV movie. Unfortunately, there's no energy in the performances, and a dull pace of editing. It's the last time that that Morecombe and Wise worked together. Eric Morecombe was in poor health when they made this and there's little energy in their performances. He would die five months later at the age of 58. Ernie Wise would make one more solo appearance the following year, and follow his longtime partner in in 1999, aged 73.

Morecombe and Wise had formed their comedy partnership in 1941, and had prospered many years with the combination of schoolboy humor and soft amiability. The only chemistry in evidence between them is in the concluding scene, when they are walking away from the camera on a long road, singing old songs and telling old jokes to each other. It was a good moment to go out on. It's too bad the movie isn't much good.

In 1977, Morecambe and Wise were at the top of their game. Their Christmas Show of that year was watched by a staggering 28 million people. They had become a national institution.

So what made them quit the B.B.C.? Money? No, there was more to it than that. Thames Television had a feature film division - Euston Films - and Eric and Ernie, unhappy with their earlier big screen offerings, wanted a second bite of the celluloid cherry.

The result was 'Night Train To Murder' which, astonishingly, was made on videotape. Set in 1946, it stars our heroes as two down on their luck entertainers. Catherine, Eric's niece, turns up at the theatre where they are performing. Hiding in the wings is a masked assassin...

Sensing a chance to make some money, the lads appoint themselves her 'guardians'. Sinister lawyer Mackay goes with them to Scotland and here we get one of the film's few funny scenes as Eric and Ernie's Poker hands change each time their train enters a tunnel.

At Austin Hall, they encounter a cast of likely victims/suspects, amongst them battle axe Lady Flora, Velda the vamp, a Lurch-style butler and Kenneth Haigh in a variety of roles. Before you can say 'Cluedo', bodies fall out of closets, windows fly open, lightning flashes across the sky, and rats scurry in the basement.

On paper this all must have looked good. Alas, instead of being another 'The Cat And The Canary', it has more in common with Gene Wilder's 1986 turkey 'Haunted Honeymoon'. Eric and Ernie ( who co-wrote the script with director Joe McGrath ) made a mistake in trying a parody a genre exhausted through over parody. Everyone from The Two Ronnies to Frankie Howerd and Michael Palin has had a go at this subject matter at one time or another. With mostly greater success. Besides, Eric and Ernie were getting a bit long in the tooth by 1983; Eric in particular looks tired, which isn't surprising as he had recently undergone a heart operation.

But what really sinks the film is Joe McGrath's inept direction. His misjudges the mood of every scene; the scary bits don't scare, the funny bits...well, work it out for yourself. Despite the odd amusing moment, this misfires on all levels. Eric thought so too; it wasn't screened until well after his death. It was only sympathy for the loss of a great comedian that stopped this from being torn to pieces by the critics and public.

I remember seeing this TV film when it was first broadcast. I can't believe Morecambe and Wise finished up making this nonsense. They were lumbered with average material, as were the supporting cast. The story is about as clichéd as it gets: the gathering of a family for the reading of a will at a large country house. There's murder afoot, along with secret passages, a master of disguise, foggy nights and family skeletons. It's clearly a pastiche of traditional crime fiction. Authors like Agatha Christie and Edgar Wallace spring to mind - except they made the above clichés entertaining and thrilling. Eric Morecambe does not look well but he's a real trooper.

There are those who say the comedy of Morecambe & Wise did not translate well to the big screen. People who know about this sort of thing tend to disagree. The 1983 romp "Night Train To Murder" was actually made for TV; it stars the guys as themselves, and is set in the aftermath of the Second World World. Eric's niece turns up out of the blue followed by a dodgy solicitor who tells her she is one of the heirs to a £10 million estate. That was when £10 million was worth £10 million! So off they all go to Scotland where someone doesn't want her or any of the other heirs to get their hands on the money.

Forget about the silly plot, the gags come fast and furious, and not only from Eric. You may not understand the in-jokes, like the lawyer Mackay played by Fulton Mackay, but quite a few of Eric's jokes are near the knuckle.

Does it have a happy ending? Sadly, Eric died the following year too young at just 58; Mackay three years later at 64. Ernie Wise lived to a reasonable age of 73, but their legacy will live forever.

One need not be familiar with Morecambe and Wise to enjoy this film, though it's also well worth noting that 'Night train to murder' boasts other idiosyncrasies that surely impact viewership. As one should well expect, it's a very British sense of humor on hand, including quips and references of a cultural and contemporary historical nature that mean some of the comedy here just won't land outside a very particular audience. There's something to be said for a feature that inherently struggles with broad appeal through different times and places - but then, this also knows and tells us very plainly what it is, with no pretense otherwise. And at that, the core of the title is built on more generalized precepts: send-ups of renowned books, movies, or TV shows; absurdism, wordplay, and witty repartee; upended expectations, and touches of physical comedy to taste.

There are some rough patches in the feature at times, whether as a matter of a joke overstaying its welcome, slack pacing, excessive reliance on references, or otherwise. Moreover, some of the humor is based on nigh-cartoonish levels of silliness that may be a bit much for some to abide. There's also no mistaking that the production values leave a bit to be desired, accordingly a significant bump in the road at the time this was being made and released - and heightening the air of artifice about it all. Still - much more so than not, however, 'Night train to murder' is fun and entertaining - cleverly written, and finely executed. Everyone in the cast gives strong, animated performances full of personality and poise, tailored purely to the irreverence and frivolity on display. Even for viewers not distinctly familiar with British TV or movies, there are some unexpected and recognizable names and faces here, and it's a joy to watch them all. Why, to that point, I stumbled across this owing to Lysette Anthony's prominent role, and I'm pleased to see her so ably inhabit the part.

It's also worth noting admirable consideration for all the little details that round out the production. Filming locations, set design and decoration, hair and makeup, and costume design are plainly fetching. Notable care went into the sound design, and beyond the writing, the orchestration of each scene is also terrific. I rather must say I had mixed expectations before I began watching, and even as the feature started playing. In fairness, it's hardly perfect, and I find I want to like it more than I do; there's just no getting around some of the indelicacies as they present. Yet for a feature that could have easily gone much more wrong in many more ways, I simply had a good time. At length - it's no revelation, but if a "good time" is all that 'Night train to murder' can claim, then that's enough for me.