Future War

The thing about watching direct-to-video movies is, just when you think you've seen the worst, you see something even worse.

But it's going to be hard to top *Future War*.

It plays like someone had access to a couple of cyborg costumes, a couple of dinosaur hand puppets, and a guy who looked vaguely like Jean-Claude Van Damme, and decided to make a movie around them.

If he had only had decent actors, literate scriptwriters, and a competent director, he might have really had something.

It's a shame, too, that I couldn't like this movie at least a little; it attempts (though badly, of course) the sort of sympathetic portrayal of Christianity that I wish more *real* movies had.

This was made in 1995 and it looks more like 1965. Very low budget, boring plot, horrible acting, really bad special effects, etc...

I rarely ever see a Sci-Fi film i absolutely think is this bad. I mean this is pure garbage. It has nothing going for it either, as far as a "Cyber" movie this is the very bottom of the lot. There is nothing really futuristic in this, it's quite misleading. If you were expecting a low-budget "Terminator" think again.

Cyborgs and Dinosaurs? Well, the Cyborgs look more like they're wearing tin-foil suits painted black. The Dinosaurs are literally puppets, a blind person wouldn't even be fooled into suspending his disbelief that these are real Dinosaurs.

Does it have anything else going for it? I'm trying really hard to think of something...but there is nothing. No nudity, No gore, No comedy, no "War" (just a few meaningless fights).

I think i would be more entertained by staring at a blank piece of paper for 90 minutes. Junk like this gives good low-budget "B" movies a bad name. This makes Ed Wood movies look good.

Avoid this waste at all costs! Oh the humanity!

this movie deserves to be higher than #5 on the 100 worst movies ever. although words are inadequate to describe how bad this movie is, "wretched," "pitiful," "embarassingly horrible," and "p*** poor" all come to mind.

i can't imagine that the writer and director were serious when they made this. either they must have been joking, or they made this from inside their room in the asylum. actually, that would explain the lack of decent acting and props, too....

anyway, i watched this on MST3K, and even that couldn't get me to finish watching this movie. i got almost to the end, but i feared that if i watched the whole thing, my brain would explode, i would have to gouge out my eyes, or the universe would end... maybe all three.

if you are thinking about watching this movie without the MST3K guys, you should go see a doctor. the kind who sits you on a couch. if you really want to subject yourself to this with the MST3K guys, i'd suggest purchasing some beverages to go along with it. it's the only way you'll get through it.

This movie hurts....it hurts to watch, it hurts to analyze, it hurts thinking about this movie. Think of a cross between a Timecop, Kickboxer, Land of the Lost and there's your movie. Earth is heaven, guy runs away from dinosaur sock puppets, nun hits him with car, captors dressed up in cheap space suits, and plenty of bad acting. Lots of kicks and punches are thrown and Jean Clod Van Dumb loses his shirt more times than a dry cleaner (final scene at the end is hilarious). Very bad sets, a inordinate amount of cardboard boxes, and no plot to be found whatsoever will leave you wondering why this piece of trash was made. The characters are so lame you have no motivation to cheer for anyone, good or bad. Lots of kicks, YAs and super-imposed images to make any viewer checking themselves at the local sanitarium. Also, don't miss the exciting advenutures of Fred Burrows!

As you can tell from the other interviews this movie is just about the worst film ever made. Let me see how many different words I can use to describe it:

Boring - Unbearable - Laughable - Lousy

Stupid - Horrible - Insipid - Terrible

I could go on with such descriptions but you probably get the point.

Daniel Bernhardt is a horrible actor and has no individual characteristics that make him stand out. I see that he is going to be in both MATRIX sequels. While I loved the MATRIX I know have serious doubts as to the quality of the sequel.

I wouldn't watch this film voluntarily but I may make my kids watch it the next time I need to punish them.