Cruel Jaws

Cruel Jaws (1995)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Italian director Bruno Mattai is probably known for being the biggest hack of the past thirty years. He made a name for himself by creating some really strange horror films that borrowed music scores, scenes and direct dialogue from whatever movie he was ripping. His most famous film, Hell of the Living Dead was a rip of Romero's Dawn of the Dead and with this film he goes after Jaws. A tiger shark, created by the Navy to kill our enemies, is loose in the ocean and killing everyone. The (sound familiar) nice sheriff wants to close the beaches but the Mayor doesn't want to lose the summer money. People get eaten. I've seen quite a few Italian rips of the Spielberg film and this one here is one of the best actually but there's also the classic Mattai moments where he rips off scenes and dialogue. All four Jaws films have scenes and dialogue redone here and I even noticed some dialogue from Porky's. The attack scenes are done very well even though it's obvious that the shark isn't real. The film drags on a bit too long at 97 minutes but if you don't mind cheese then you might enjoy this.

With Cruel Jaws, director Bruno Mattei not only takes the Michael with his cheeky 'Jaws V' alternative title, but also borrows liberally from Steven Spielberg's 1975 killer shark classic in terms of plot, padding his film out with footage from other Jaws rip-offs. Mattei's movie takes place in Hampton Bay, where a tiger shark (trained by the navy to attack!) is chowing down on those who venture into the water. Needless to say, the local sheriff wants to close the beaches and postpone the town's regatta, but influential businessman Sam Lewis (George Barnes Jr.) insists that the show must go on, his decision resulting in an all-you-can-eat buffet for the hungry fish.

Bruno Mattei's trademark inept direction, a lousy script, terrible action and zero excitement make this bottom-of-the-barrel-scraping movie-making at its most awful, which does, of course, qualify it as essential viewing for fans of really bad rip-offs (you know who you are). Frequent scenes of extreme tedium are thankfully interspersed with unintentional laughs, just about making the film worth the effort if you absolutely must see every bad shark movie ever made.

Guaranteed to raise a few chuckles are aquarium owner Dag, who looks like he's been taking style tips from Hulk Hogan, his wheelchair-bound daughter who is not only disabled but rather stupid as well (some of the things she says are priceless), and a scene in which a helicopter is pulled into the sea by the shark, which is hanging from the chopper's winch. Viewers might also be amused by the music, which sounds suspiciously like the Star Wars theme at times, and, during the regatta sailboard race, is almost identical to The Race by Swiss electronic duo Yello.

Those looking for a little gore to help pass the time will most likely be disappointed - all we get is a mouldy mangled corpse and some blood in the water - but Mattei compensates somewhat by chucking in lots of hotties in bikinis (although, rather surprisingly for a Mattei movie, there is no nudity).

As co-founder of Nicko & Joe's Bad Film Club Show here in the UK, all I can do is stand on my chair and applaud wildly. A true, true instance of a great bad movie, it's come a very close second to Shark Attack 3, which is of course THE BEST bad shark movie EVER.

The best thing about the film though is being able to see all of my favourite shark movies in the one film! Genius idea. So many times I've been stuck watching a movie like Star Wars and thought, jeesh, this movie is great, but it could do with a few Star Trek cut aways.

There are moments of true hilarity and you have to admire the balls it takes to put a film like this out there

Bravo, no, really, BRAVO.

Am I almost unique? I had the sheer joy of seeing Cruel Jaws in a cinema, when it was shown in the 95 or 96 Cannes film market, not the Film Festival you understand, but the commerical side of it you don't need a tux for. I was buying movies for a video label at the time. Oh, what sheer joy! I too was shocked at the line about the helicopter, but was more amazed at the huge chunks of Enzo Castellari's superb Great White chopped up and dropped into Mattai's pic. It was definetly made on 35mm widescreen for theatrical release. It isn't a TV movie. Just didn't seem to play cinemas anywhere. The funniest thing to me was the hero, Richard Dew, who is an absolute clone of Hulk Hogan, even down to the moustache, beanie hat and vest. But he's the smallest man in the cast by at least three or four inches, looking up to everybody else! The effect of this is hilarious, making you think you are watching 'Hulk Hogan Goes To The Land Of The Giants'. I loved it, and Mattei is a genius. We didn't buy it for the video label though, we'd have lost a fortune! And for sheer brass neck how dare they credit Peter Benchley! Obviously his lawyers haven't seen it. If you can find it, do watch it, journeyman filmmaking unhampered by budget, originality or talent! MC.

The only curious thing about this movie is that most of the shark footage was taken from another shark movie L'Ultimo Squalo aka The Last Shark. Another Jaws rip-off. The actors are worse than the movie. Their acting something to beware off. I've seen bad movies, but this one really wins hands down. 2/10