Teenage Exorcist

This comedy horror sadly fails on both fronts. What I mean by that is it has very little horror and even fewer laughs.

Telling a very peculiar possession story the film is desperate to be funny but falls flat with each and every attempt.

Starring horror legend Brinke Stevens, briefly Michael Berryman and the poor mans Pee Wee Herman Eddie Deezen (Who I still think looks like a goofy Liev Schreiber the movie bounces from unfunny scene to unfunny scene and struggles to entertain.

The Good:

Nothing

The Bad:

Terrible creature sfx

Brinke Stevens really is a terrible actress

Michael Berryman is nothing but a cameo role

Teenage Exorcist is one of those God-awful films to video that makes the viewer give up any expectations of decent entertainment for low brow sexual antics, adolescent humour, and empty writing. This film delivers exactly what its was trying to deliver. It is about a girl moving into a house where a Baron de Sade(hmmm) once lived and finally being drawn to him through her own inner demon. Her sister and brother-in-law, along with an Irish priest, her boyfriend, and a pizza delivery boy, try to save her and exorcise her demon. Well, not much here in way of horror or suspense. In fact, one line from the film pretty much sums up what to expect. Mike(the girl's brother-in-law) has tied her(the name is Diane by the way and she is played by Brinke Stevens) up after trying to chainsaw her sister. He removes a gag from her mouth and says something like, "This won't be the last gag we see tonight." Indeed, it was not. The special effects are cheesy and poorly crafted, and the film makes use of this by playing on its comedic appeal. Some of the lines and situations are funny. Robert Quarry, old Count Yorga himself, really steals his scenes as an Irish priest. He hams it up wailing Biblical verses and crooning Irish songs. You know you are in trouble, however, when Eddie Deezen gets top billing. Deezen does his schtick and has a couple nice moments as well, but the material is just too threadbare than to be anything more than teenage sophomoric time filler. Michael Berryman, from The Hills Have Eyes, also has a brief but interesting cameo in the film. As for the other thespians, well, they are all pretty good at being pretty mediocre. Stevens is lovely in fishnet stockings and French-cut panties, but beyond that don't expect too much more from her. Her sister is played by Elena Sahagun, and she shows a bit more than Brinke(a very lovely young lady by the way) and out acts Brinke by miles. Her husband, played by Jay Richardson shows off his ability to act and be funny amidst mediocrity. Again, not a bad film to waste a little time that involves NO thinking on. If you are a Robert Quarry fan, watch it for his performance at the very least.

This shoestring budget parody of "The Exorcist", is a hit or miss affair. A strong beginning is ushered in by the catchy theme song, followed by some totally gratuitous nudity, and amusing situations. All this leads up to the "posession" and attempted exorcism by a priest. The acting is not too bad and the story flows nicely until Eddie Deezen arrives on the scene. At this point, "Teenage Exorcist" loses it's way, and destructs, mostly due to Deezen's annoying "schtick". Michael Berryman's part is very minor, but his presence alone is a plus. Overall, a pretty good first half, and a catchy theme song, carry it until the disappointing conclusion. - MERK

I must have kept singing the theme song for days. Honestly, it was a pretty stupid movie, but it doesn't take itself too seriously. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it comes pretty close. And it is scarier that The Exorcist II: The Heretic.

Teenage Exorcist (1991)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A teenager (Brinke Stevens) buys a house and gets a terrific deal on it from the Realtor (Michael Berryman) who is practically giving it away. Soon the teenager learns why and it's because there's a demon in the house and soon the sweet girl finds herself possessed. Thankfully Father McFerrin (Robert Quarry) knows what to do.

TEENAGE EXORCIST is one of those films back in the day that was released straight-to-VHS where teenage boys would rent it on the weekend to show at their parties. Stevens, who wrote the screenplay based on a story by Fred Olen Ray, must have saw this as an opportunity to do something that did more than require her to get naked but sadly the film is basically just one joke that keeps playing itself out.

The biggest problem is that there's just nothing too special here. The film goes for plenty of laughs but not all of them are reached and more often than not the material just seems very stretched and desperate for a laugh. There are some funny moments including one sequence where a woman is taking a shower when the demon comes up from behind and drops the soap Another funny sequence has the Father trying to talk his way out of being attacked by a group of zombies.

Fans of the genre will enjoy seeing Stevens, although she really doesn't have much to do. It's always fun seeing Berryman and Quarry gets a few funny moments as the Father. TEENAGE EXORCIST runs way too long at 86 minutes but those wanting to relive their VHS days might find this worth viewing.