Sherlock, flic de choc

Making a movie like this one should not be legal. With a cast completely devoid of talent and a story that prompts you to pinch yourself out of the nightmare this movie epitomizes the word terrible. Don't see it unless you find migraines endearing.

This dog film is amusing, but not because of the dog. Huey, the name of the dog who plays Sherlock, is not attractive and he can do little. His voice is also silly and under par. The reason why the film is amusing is because of the people. A very good casting choice of a ten year-old boy was made to be the lead in the film, Benjamin Eroen, who I see from IMDb never appeared in any other film. This is the only film ever directed by Richard Harding Gardner, a British actor. (That would explain why the dog in the film speaks with a Scottish accent.) The film is entirely set and filmed on location on Santa Catalina Island, or simply Catalina Island as it is generally called, which is off the coast of California. It must be the only film ever made there. The island today has a population of less than 4000 people, is 22 miles long and 8 miles wide at its widest point. It is one of eight islands in a chain which constitute the Channel Islands of California. These islands have many examples of unique flora and fauna. Perhaps because I have always wanted to visit those islands since I was a teenager, but never found the opportunity to do so, I found this film so interesting, as it shows a good deal of the island and satisfied some of my curiosity about the place. The island atmosphere of people living in a place cut off from the outside world in many ways is well conveyed. It is an 'everybody knows everybody' place, and they are always interesting to visit. It used to be possible to go to those islands to eat abalone, long ago before the California abalone were all fished out. However, abalone have now made a seasonal comeback in Paris, and at the correct time of year you can get a steaming dish heaped with the most wonderfully delicious abalone (called in French 'les Ormeaux') at the Dome Restaurant (formerly the famous café of the 1920s) in Montparnasse. The story of this film is incredibly silly and nonsensical, as are some of the characters. But that is all clearly intentional. Some rather silly 'baddies' are engaged in drug smuggling, though who their customers could possibly be is vague, to say the least. Sherlock is a police dog who talks, and he becomes separated from the detective who is trying to arrest the smugglers. He is rescued by the little boy, who is delighted to discover that the dog talks, but only to him. Yes, that is all completely ridiculous, I know, and there are no special effects to aid the movement of the dog's mouth as there are in contemporary talking dog movies. So it cannot be said that there is anything in the film that is remotely convincing. You just have to be willing to watch a movie where everything is simply silly. What a silly fellow I must be, as I enjoyed the movie.

This is the greatest film I have ever seen! I don't think I will ever see a greater film than this in my life, and I've seen Star Wars. Bones deserves an Oscar. The directing is fantastic, the acting is incredible, and the dog... Oh, the dog... WHAT A DOG! I implore anyone who loves dogs to watch this film, it is truly wonderful!

The music is fantastic, I would compare it to the work of John Williams. So beautifully composed, fitting the scenes so well.

The technical side of the filming is flawless. There are no hitches and the effects are magnificent. When the baddies are hanging off the boat towards the end it looks so realistic, as well as when Sherlock is holding onto Billy's feet in mid-air. The actress who plays Emma sets the mood so incredibly well with her sarcastic tone.

Sherlock Bones is a must see film!

Billy is a 10 year old boy who is set to visit his father on Catalina Island. His mother and stepfather don't really show him much affection but they refuse to let Billy live with his father. This is because William, the dad, is a wacky inventor who does not have a steady income, as of yet. Once on Catalina, Billy finds an injured dog and he and his dad take the canine to visit a pretty veterinarian, who also has a daughter, Emily; she is near Billy's age. The four of them befriend each other. Billy, however, has a secret. The dog can talk to him! He needs Billy's help in finding his owner, who may have been kidnapped. Can Billy and Emily solve the mystery, with help, of course, from conversations with and encouragement from the dog? This film is an absolute joy, from beginning to end. From policemen in their underwear to Billy pretending to be blind and more, this story unfolds with a laugh at every turn. The dog is adorable, the children are sweet without being coy, and the parents are appropriately befuddled, yet charming. The sight gags alone are a wonderful reason to give this film a try. Catalina Island's beauty is also something to treasure. It may take some searching but parents everywhere should try to locate this film at a library or video store. No bones about it, this film would make a happy memory for any child or for one who is young at heart.

A talking, Scottish-accented police dog (though he won't speak to grown ups) and his British owner (what are they doing so far from home?) are on an isolated island somewhere off the coast of America staking out drug smugglers. After the copper is kidnapped by said rouges, the chatty canine is forced to team up with a chubby 10 year old lad and his sarcastic friend Emma to track down the baddies and launch a rescue mission. Trouble is, the only help available is the boy's eccentric (I would prefer to call him useless) inventor father and the two most inept law officials you'll ever meet (who also happen to be the only cops on the islands). Will they manage to save his life before the budget runs out?? Stay tuned..

Sherlock Bones is a terrible film all right, but it exudes a bizarre fascination more potent than almost any other bad film I've seen. Watching it is akin to seeing a bunch of toddlers attempt a revival of A Midsummer Night's Dream.. you know it's wrong but you can't pull yourself away because of what might happen next. For instance: everybody on this island goes around in golf carts. A running gag is that one of the two inept cops on the island (the fat guy, obviously) constantly has his foot run over by them. Ho Ho. This joke reaches a crescendo when a whole bunch of carts, all chained together, get nudged and end up rolling downhill, all passing over his foot one after another. The reason this part is so unbelievable is THE GUY JUST LETS THEM All SQUASH HIS FOOT WITHOUT MOVING IT AWAY. You'd think after the first one crushed it, he would at least withdraw his leg but NNOO that would ruin the joke! There's a fine line between dumb laughs and insulting the audience, and this scene crosses it.

What other little peculiar moments can I single out? How about the opening scene, when the overweight boy is on the ferry, finds a pet rat on the floor which everybody sees and as a direct result causes all of the passengers to puke over the side? (WHAT?) Or when the kids are trying to sneak past the moronic inventor, the girl has a fantastic idea of disguising his son as a female.. by slipping a two piece swimming costume on him (while neglecting to do anything about his appearance). On the technical side, I suppose I should mention the safety threads that stand out like a sore thumb when Sherlock is dragging the kid along the ground, and the three most obvious dummies ever which are supposed to be the bad guys as they're clinging on for dear life to a speeding ship. But all these pale in comparison to seeing the dog actually talk, as the mouth movements hardly match the words and sometimes you hear it speak when its jaws are firmly closed. Babe this ain't. As a final insult, said hound isn't even in half the movie, as he is conveniently injured or kidnapped for large chunks of it. Whassthematter, not got enough cash to smear dog food round Sherlock's lips Mr Producer Sir?

At just a touch under 90 minutes, you might think this would be an easy film for you to sit through with your kids. That's until you have to endure all the horrible music and endless slapstick, not to mention the terrible acting and the bargain basement effects. However, as a caveat, there are so many odd little idiosyncrasies that I've never seen in any film before or since it's got to be worth a look for sheer car crash value alone. They certainly don't make 'em like this any longer. Thank goodness for that.. 3/10