Shatter Dead

When I borrowed a friend's copy of Shatter Dead, I expected to get some thrills of the zombie gore-fest variety. What I received was really really bad. It wasn't even good in a really really bad way. The first thing that upset and disgusted me was not blood or wanton violence but rather that it was shot on video, not film, immediately cheapening the whole experience. The pictures on the DVD case (yes, DVD) misled me into thinking that this would be a professional piece of work. I have seen many low-budget films, but this takes the prize for worst makeup. Some characters, many of which I'm sure were willing locals and student volunteers, donned grey paint on their skin. Others had some some cheap looking gashes about the face. Most, however were not made up at all. It was also very slow paced, a bit confusing and featured both flat staging and acting. It was hard to tell whether it was the poor acting or the poorly written lines ("Don't be scared, I'm scared too") were what made me want to turn it off.

Having ripped in to this movie quite a bit, it's only fair to share some highlights. Indeed writer/director, Scooter McRae puts an interesting spin on the old living dead yarn that discusses "souls" as being un-killable, despite condition of the body. It also receives my thumbs up for explicitly using, one more than one occasion, a hand gun as a phallus. It's also encouraging to any aspiring filmmaker to see the manifestation of McRae's ideas and labor, on DVD no less. I guess it won some sort of award, too. Bottom line, this flick is for hardcore low-budget horror fans only. If, on the other hand, a friend owns it you might want to watch it. If not for a laugh, then at least to broaden your filmic horizons.

After hearing much hype about this supposedly graphic yet thoughtful zombie movie I gave it a shot, much to my dismay.

Strait-jacking Romero's infamous 'Dawn of the Dead' line about there being no more room in hell for it's plot, 'Shatter Dead' follows the exploits of a rather unpleasant female as she attempts to get to her boyfriend in a world were the dead don't die. Along the way she meets assorted boring humans, a wack-job preacher, and some living dead just trying to get by.

The film tries for high-concept, but lays limp at low-execution. The locations look like spots near the director's home, the actors don't ever act, the script is thin past the set up, the gore FX aren't convincing, the direction is uninspired, etc, etc. Just nothing about it ever works. The film could have tried to rely upon the strength of the set-up to at least flirt with some existential examination, but instead the filmmakers fall back on dime-novel psycho-babble and pseudo-religious rhetoric.

As far as providing exploitive thrills, yet again the promise is not delivered. There is some violence and blood/gore, but it's cheaply executed and badly edited together. On the sexploitive front, things fare no better. While there is a fair amount of nudity, it is mostly of the lead female who (I am sorry to say) is not very attractive. For the whole movie only one bit, just one, actually stood out; a late movie sex scene where a blood drained zombie male is forced to strap on a hand-gun in order to engage in intercourse. That one blurb of exploitive lunacy accounts for the 2 rating.

Not much of a horror movie, not much of a sexploitive movie...just not much of a movie.

2/10

Hmmm. Where to start with this one. I just watched this flick for the first time last night and it left me a little uneasy. I am not sure if I am upset at myself for paying so much for a camcorder shot looooooooooooooooooooow budget flick, or if the movie actually had an effect on me.........I am still pondering that one.

For those who love extreme gore, action, and excitement.....this movie will probably not suit your fancy. I would not even call this movie a horror movie. There was nothing scary about it, nothing shocking (except for the gun up the muff scene)...I have seen it all before. I would consider this movie a dark comedy, even though I am sure Scooter did not intend for it to be funny. I mean the really bad acting and dialogue just has to be laughed at, especially Stark Raven and the Preacher Man. Some of the dialougue is just hilarious, like "don't be scared, I am scared." You just have to laugh.

Stark Raven is about as talented and sexy as a slab of cardboard (she's as flat as one too). Her gratuitous sex scenes sort of nauseated me because she is not in the least bit attractive....for once a movie would have been better without the female lead getting naked. The only thing that "shattered" in this movie is the mirror everytime Stark Raven looked in it (God, those teeth..........).

The clever storyline and idea behind this movie are strongly overshadowed by the lousy acting, camera work, and dialogue, and get left behind and forgotten quickly.

I mean, any movie with a guy dressed up like Howard Stern as Fartman with a gun cannot be taken seriously.

Worth a rent but not a buy. Nuff said.

Shatter Dead exhibits much weakness within its plot and structural makeup. The story appears to be dreamed up as some kind of twisted fantasy of the director as the filming process progressed. The "blood and guts" effects were possibly the largest downfall of the film. The same effect could have been achieved by merely dumping spaghetti and meatballs on the actors and actresses. A majority of the acting was unprofessional and cheesy.

Sadly, the only scenes which are able to keep an audience awake are the ones which contain nudity. Sound effects are another large problem which adds to the films downfall. The camera crew is able to be heard brushing up against the camera. That is acceptable in a documentary or a film of that caliber but not a "walking dead" movie. In conclusion, Shatter Dead merits a 3 on a scale of 10 for not containing key element of a credible film.

Having read of this film and its charms in such reputable genre magazines as "Rue Morgue" and "Fangoria" over the past eight years or so, I finally got around to viewing "Shatter Dead" in its newly released DVD format. That said, I find myself shaking my head (and just shaking in general) as to how anyone with an IQ higher than that of the most scholarly of algae could summon up anything positive to say about this terrible waste of time and money. While the premise of having the living dead trying to live amongst us is an intriguing one to this long-time viewer of hardcore porn, (Oops! Did I say hardcore porn? Sorry, I meant to say zombie movies.) there is nothing at all intriguing about watching a lousy student film (which is to say, a student film) shot directly to video, starring said student's film school chums running around backyards and stripmalls with the same blatantly latex makeup jobs as if they'd all consumed cases of Schlitz Malt Liquor with Vicatin chasers. Much more interesting would be a film about a pencil factory where the evil CEO falls into the grinding machine and his soul comes to inhabit millions of number two pencils the world over. Mankind, armed only with his own moxie and a few good pencil sharpeners, in the end are no match for this fiendish plot, and soon succumb to the heathen pleasures of permanent and non-permanent inks. I call it, "Get the Lead Out!", and while it may not exactly be coming to a theater near you anytime soon, when it does, you will find it a much more harrowing experience than say, "Shatter Dead", and you will believe (!!!), or, at the very least, you'll think twice before chomping on our bright yellow friends. As I close, I am reminded again of this kindergarden klownfest's declaration that "God Hates You!". Well, duhh! Tell me something I don't know! Of course God hates me. He told me to watch "Shatter Dead".