Pentathlon

This movie was so much painful to watch. I regret seeing it at all. Watch out from the commie boogieman. That and the nazi hiding under your bed. This movie is such a joke.

****SPOILERS**** Insane movie about big time East German Olympic Gold Medal winner Eric Brogar, Dolph Lundgren, defecting to the west. This was after Eric took all the muck and insults that he could handle from his crazed and obnoxious coach Mueller, David Soul, but finds out that the free world is not what he thought it was.

Ending up at a greasy spoon in L.A as a short order cook Eric is very unhappy with his life until his boss Creese, Roger E. Molsey, checking in on Eric, one afternoon.Creese finds a load of newspaper clippings as well as his gold medal and gets the bright idea of having Eric train for the next Olympics.

Trying to be a "Rocky" clone the movie fails miserably since Lundgren is so powerful and intimidating in every scene that he's in, as well as him being a former Olympic Gold Medal winner, when he's competing that you feel more sympathy for his opponents then for him. Meanwhile back in East Germany with the communist government out of business Mueller forms a new Neo-Nazi organization to take over the country and bring back the "Good old Days" of German glory. Mueller now has other ideas on his former "friend" and fellow German Eric Brogar. Mueller also didn't forget Eric's betrayal and took time to pay his father Rodolph, Erik Holland, a visit and gave him a hard and strenuous workout that ends up killing him.

Eric finds love with his American girlfriend Julia, Renee Coleman, and is starting to get into shape for the Olympics when Mueller shows up in town to start an American chapter of his new Neo-Nazi organization. After failing to take out Eric who ended up hammering a number of Mueller's brown shirts Mueller has his gang storm Julia's home. With a couple of his Aryan Supermen Mueller beat the living hell out of Julia's 70 or so year-old father and shoot Creese who came over to have lunch.

Eric who came over later is beaten up and taken hostage by Mueller's goons who plan to blow up a German government "Never Again" rally that is against Mueller's Neo-Nazi party. Mueller is so crazy that he holds off the fireworks until he has a tape of him played on live TV. It's on the tape where he brags about his great ideas for the future of Germany and the world. This gives Eric enough time to escape and stop Mueller and his gang from doing any damage. With the help of the local police Eric finishes off Mueller's Nazi followers. Off-the-wall ending with Mueller getting blasted by Eric some time later when he tries to shoot him at a sporting event, where else, when the alert Julia spots Mueller and knocks the gun out of his hand.

Dopey movie with a very predictable plot and with big bad Dolph Lundgren given a little more meat in his role as the hero with some comedy and sensitive, as well as the usual action, scenes. You have to give the Academy Award to David Soul in one of the most insane as well as overblown and ham acting parts of his career. Soul made you realize why Hitler lost the Second World War. Proving what the saying "With friends like him you don't need enemies" really means.

Being a big Dolph Lundgren fan, I was surprised to see a completely different side of him in this one, portraying him as being a pathetic, injured burnout who flips burgers for a living, while walking down dark alleys with no company beside his portable TV and his beer. When he is menaced by a group of hoodlums, they laugh at him when his trick knee gives out and he can't chase them. This struck me as being very odd, because it was Dolph acting like a regular guy, rather than the sarcastic killing machines he's typecast as. Sadly, as enjoyable as all of the footage of him being a loser (and his inspiring comeback into grade-A Pentathalon runner material), it sort of abruptly switches gears, turning into one of his usual action movies with a nonsense subplot involving neo-Nazis. It's a shame that the whole thing couldn't have been like the first two acts, or this would be by far his best performance, in a close tie with GR13 from Universal Soldier.

As someone who's seen almost 30 of Dolph's movies I have to say this is one of the standouts from his filmography. Most of the movies he makes are quite entertaining and simple, mostly existing for Dolph to kill a bunch of guys and save the day. This one is quite different as it's probably the most ridiculous movie he's ever made. It's even more ridiculous than Bridge of Dragons which exists in some weird alternate fantasy universe where all the countries in the world have merged. In Pentathlon Dolph is an Olympic athlete who competes for East Germany and after certain circumstances force his hand, he flees to America. However, despite him trying to get away from everything and start a new life his communist coach has other ideas in mind and tracks Dolph with the intent of killing him! If that doesn't sound amazing then you should skip this movie. But if it does sound great you should give it a watch as the movie gets even better later on, especially in the last act which is absolutely incredible in its absurdity.

This has to be one of the worst films I ever watched. Actually, it was so painful, I could not bear to watch it all the way to the end. Now I know where Americans get the grey image of "communism" from. A completely unrealistic portrait of what life was like in East Germany!!!