L'Histoire sans fin 3 : Retour à Fantasia

We have seen all the NES movies. The 1st was the absolute best!!!!! The second was sub-par. The third was the worst of them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good News: Jack Black Played his character very well. Bad News: Where do we begin? First of all No atreau- Why, we don't know. second, the empress had BLOND hair. Defenatly not the beautiful girl in the first NES.She also looked very stoned. Bastion was an innocent kid with a big imagination. This one looked clueless. Changing his dead mother to his dead father is the worse, most noticeably fault with the story. YOU DO NOT CHANGE THE THE ORIGINAL POINTS OF THE FRANCHISE!!!! Now the fantasia characters. Falcor looked like an anorexic, crack head who must of lost all his knowledge with the pipe. We loved the rock-biter in the first film. But in this he shrunk and had a family (yes we know his son was in the second). If everyone grew up, why didn't didn't the baby? The elves looked horrible. It was good they brought them back, but they ruined the concept of them both. The oracle looked nothing like the first film and neither did the ivory tower.(stone?) They shouldn't started from scratch. The idea of using the real world as a premise was good, but the storyline sucked bad. Only Falcor new what the real world looked like. To try to make us believe that the other fantasia characters knew was laughable to say the least.

Over all they should burn all copies of this movie and use a memory wipe to make us forget this movie ever existed. If we rated this on a scale of 1-10 we would give this a -1000.

When this film showed up on the cable listing, I had a sudden urge to see it even though I knew it was probably going to be terrible. The original was such a staple of my childhood, yet had such an incomplete ending, that I was intensely curious to see what they would do with another sequel. Besides, I knew that it could not possibly be worse than "The NeverEnding Story II."

Boy, was I wrong.

"The NeverEnding Story III" has rightly earned its place among IMDb voters as the 79th worst movie of all time. It is so bad that, in writing this review, I risk making it sound like it's worth watching, sort of like "Plan Nine from Outer Space." I assure you, this film is in no way in the Ed Wood category of being so incompetently done that it becomes enjoyable to watch. Those moviegoers who take pleasure in seeing cinematic disasters should be forewarned about this one, lest they never again be able to erase from their memory Rockbiter's gravelly-voiced version of "Born to be Wild," played in a video sequence early in the film and again during the end credits.

No, I am not joking.

The second film does have its admirers, and as much as I hated it, I sort of understand where they're coming from. At least that film had a legitimate purpose, to tell the second half of the novel which the first film had neglected to do. But now the story is finished, so the third film has to make up its own reason for being, with an even shabbier budget than that of the second film. So it concocts a story that allows us to see as little of Fantasia as possible. Here, a series of magical mishaps causes a bunch of creatures from Fantasia to be transported into the real world. These include Falkor the luck dragon, a baby rockbiter about the size of a fountain statue, and a talking tree. (Falkor, who must have gotten a lobotomy sometime between the second and third film, will chase after a "dragon" at a Chinese festival.) What we do see of Fantasia makes the place seem a lot smaller than I had ever imagined. Almost all of the scenes there take place in the empress's chamber in the Ivory Tower, though there is also one sequence where we get to see Rockbiter's home (just what I've always wanted to do!) with Mama Rockbiter and of course the previously mentioned Baby Rockbiter sitting in front of a large stone TV set. Needless to say, the inhabitants of Fantasia seem to possess quite a bit more knowledge of Earth than they did in the first film. When the gnome describes Bastian as "not exactly Arnold Schwarzenegger in the muscle department," we're reminded how much more enjoyable the film would probably be if Schwarzenegger were actually in it.

The cause of these events is that a gang of school bullies steals the book and discovers that it gives them the power to wreak havoc on the inhabitants of Fantasia. Strangely, these modern kids never seem surprised that magic exists. Think how long it took in the first film for even imaginative, ten-year-old Bastian to become convinced of the book's supernatural qualities. These bullies, much older and more concrete, never go through such a skeptical period. And later, when the Auryn falls into the hands of a teenage girl, she treats it with about the same level of awe as if she got hold of her parents' credit card.

There are actually some familiar actors in this mess. Mr. Koreander is played by the British character actor Freddie Jones, Bastian is played by the kid from "Free Willy," and the main bully is played by a relatively young Jack Black, who now probably would like to do with this film what George Lucas wants to do with the "Star Wars Holiday Special."

I don't understand why they bothered to make this one. The first Neverending Story really put you in the feeling of a fantasy world. The second was not quite as good. This one? Good Lord! Super trendy, with people in Fantasia watching MTV type television. Falcor wasn't the same voice or personality. It always ruins a good children's movie that is attempting to take you to "another world" when they try to make it hip. The beauty of these films was that they weren't "hip"; they were a true departure from the everyday. Isn't that what going into the book in the first place was supposed to represent? When will film makers learn to leave well enough alone?

This movie does belong in a class by itself: Even worse than utterly terrible. I have been an aficionado of 'bad' movies for quite a long time, adoring those movies which only a group of friends and many drinks makes enjoyable. This movie was in fact so amazingly bad that I could not watch it past the first half hour or so. I only watched the rest via fast-forward the next morning. I've seen many films worse considered classically bad, this one beat them all hands down. I even had to start referring to possibly similar bad movies by saying "They may be in the NS3 category". There are those bad movies that are MST3K fun and then there are those that make you wish you had a sharp object to commit suicide with, this one is the latter.

This franchise went from excellent original fantasy, special effects for the genre, and well written characters to bad acting and writing in part 2, to movie of the week actors and rubber puppets in part 3. It's amazing how a film franchise that had such good promise sank faster than Lips Manless after taking "the bath". Especially if you're considering getting this for the kids, at least treat them to the original movie or something like the Peter Barnes inspired fantasy miniseries' from the late 90s.

The first movie was great. The second wasn't so great, though it's not quite as bad as you've heard. Especially with there now being an even WORSE entry to this series - this being it!

Someone questioned why Warner Bros. didn't have the distribution rights to this entry. Well, at first they did. I remember reading a (very negative) review of this movie in "Variety" magazine, and Warner Bros. was set to distribute. It's quite obvious now that Warner Bros. threw away its distribution option (probably after seeing how horrible this movie is), and Miramax picked it up for a tiny release that lasted 5 minutes. (In my city, it only played for a few weekend matinees).

Oh yeah, what did I think of this movie? Quite frankly, it sucked. What were they thinking when they decided to jazz up the movie with contemporary rock 'n roll???? And most of the movie actually takes place not in the fantasy world, but in this world. The characters are especially obnoxious (especially the rock baby), and suffer from stereotypes. Plus, the movie seems to have forgotten a lot of what happened previously - the hero's dad knew about Fantasia, so the hero didn't have to hide anything from him - but for some reason, the hero keeps the incidents he was involved in a secret. The low point comes where the climax is not solved with magic or intelligence - but with karate. Yes, karate.