Mean Guns

I can agree with other sentiments here: "Mean Guns" is more than just the standard B movie. I was lured to this thing by the names involved, but what we get here is not relentlessly predictable stuff.

A crime boss named Vincent Moon (Ice-T) gathers a large group of lowlifes together, people who've "betrayed" their organization basically by being screw-ups. Moon's idea is to put all of them into a "kill or be killed" situation, providing them with various weapons, and the last three standing will supposedly walk away with the sum of $10 million.

In addition to Ice-T, we get several B movie perennials doing their thing; Christopher Lambert brings his own brand of acting to a more jovial - and unhinged - character than usual. Also appearing are Deborah Van Valkenburgh ("The Warriors"), Thom Mathews ("The Return of the Living Dead"), Yuji Okumoto ("The Karate Kid, Part II"), Tina Cote ("Omega Doom"), Kimberly Warren ("Blast"), and Michael Halsey ("Dollman"). Hoke Howell of such classics as "Kingdom of the Spiders" and "Humanoids from the Deep" has a cameo at the outset.

As one will notice, the cast is partly filled up by regulars in the films of the prolific Albert Pyun, and it doesn't matter if the acting ain't ever gonna win any awards; it still gets the job done. Ice is amusing in the lead, and Lambert is actually a hoot, although it's veteran Halsey that really stands out, playing one of the most interesting characters in the whole thing. Van Valkenburgh is likable as the most sympathetic of them all. Mathews and Okumoto have their moments as a consistently bantering pair of buddies.

It's hard to knock a movie that immediately goes for the approach of underscoring the fast and furious action with mambo music, which adds to the humor. Of course, when one sees the ridiculous fate of one of the characters, they'll see this is never meant to be taken too seriously. At an hour and 51 minutes it IS awfully long for this sort of thing, but that kooky charm still pervades the proceedings. And, despite all the violence, there's really no gore at all.

Fans of low budget escapist fare should find this reasonably interesting and diverting, all the way to its unexpected ending.

Seven out of 10.

Last night, I had just finished watching some BAD horror movie, and turned on the television afterward. This was on, and it looked really twisted. It was already into the first fifteen minutes, so I missed that, but then I decided to check the guide to see what it was, and the plot seemed pretty cool. So, what the heck, I'd waste two hours and watch it.

All I can say is--those two hours were no waste! This movie was so good! I don't really like action movies, and I never really got into shoot-em-ups, but I loved this. The plot, as I figured out, was that all these people were locked in an old prison, given weapons and tons of ammo, and left to kill each other off until, supposedly, the last three were left, who would then get the prize of ten million dollars.

Thus begins the nonstop action, as the various characters split up, form groups, and kill each other. The main characters really were Christopher Lambert's character (forgot his name), Marcus, D, and Con (though, I think her name was Cam, but IMDb said it was Con). Anyhoo, there's also Hoss and Crow, who eventually team up with Barby, and there are various other people who just get killed. I didn't understand why some of the people were there, but that's what I get for missing the first fifteen minutes.

In any event, the movie became severely tense, and no one's safe from anyone...not even someone in their own group. And as the many characters dwindle down, you start to wonder: who will survive?

The suspense in this movie is amazing, and you never know what will happen next. At first, the story seemed a little thin to carry itself along throughout the whole film, but it did, perfectly, all the way up to the quite twisted ending, which just keeps surprising you. I, personally, was quite thrilled with how the movie ended, but you'll never suspect how it does end. My favorite character: Con. She was easy to relate to (yes, I know, I'm delving too much into this B-rated action flic, but oh well) and you could feel bad for her. She truly didn't belong there, as she said many times. And then, in the four-sided face-off in the end between the three left and Ice-T's character, who held this event, you will feel so bad when she tells the others how they won, and they shouldn't have to go through with this next step.

All in all, an action movie that's fun, intense, creepy at times, and with a few morals. Recommended.

Christopher Lambert and Ice-T in the same B movie? How could this not be enjoyable for B movie fans? Christopher Lambert runs around doing very Christopher Lambert type stuff at Christopher Lambert level acting ability. However, this actually works for the movie as he plays a somewhat not entirely sane person. Also, when a man like Ice-T tosses you the baseball bat in his hands and says, "I want to see if I'm as bad as I say I am." Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to fight him... run!

Overall, if you're looking for a masterpiece... this is NOT it. However, if you are looking to waste away an evening with (pretty much) mindless shooting and killing, look no further.

Everything about this movie screams B-grade. From the dodgy name to the questionable cast to the dubious premise. The only thing that stops this from being a B-movie, is that it's actually really, really good.

When "The Syndicate", represented by Ice-T, gathers together it's less reliable members in an empty prison for a little game, the probability of violence was always going to be a definite.

What makes this movie different is in large part due to the choice of music. The utterly inappropriate Mambo soundtrack clashes with the violence, giving the movie a sort of trite, macabre humour. This humour gives a consistent feel throughout the movie, backed up by violence that while brutal is strangely un-graphic.

Mean Guns is an action movie with a quirky sense of humour and a brain. It won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it's an entertaining trip.

It's not really a good movie, let's make that clear. The chaotic shootouts are not skillfully constructed, the story is both implausible and confusing (especially at the end, when it keeps trying to top itself with one stupid "twist" after another; it should have stuck to the rules it established in the beginning), and Lambert and Ice-T both give performances too awful for words. What makes the picture fun is its premise, and some of the supporting members of the cast, particularly Michael Halsey (who really shines with a strong presence deserving of a far better movie), Okumoto and Matthews (whose duo is quite amusing to watch) and Tina Cote (who's pretty hot). Overall, it's worth a couple of viewings if you're an action fan. (**1/2)