La reine des vampires

Let's face it...this was a B-movie, Universal just put some more money into it. They massacred the vampire lore, but since this is a B-movie, it doesn't matter. Dennis Miller is hilarious as always; and what cheesy horror flick is genuine without Corey Feldman. The only discrepancy I have with this movie are the Cryptkeeper segments. They were just a remake of a Cryptkeeper segment from a TV episode. The only difference was that William Sadler was dressed up as the mummy instead of the Grim Reaper (a reprisal of his role in "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey").

Dennis Miller tries to stop a group of female bi-sexual vampires (led by the ultra-erotic Angie Everhart) who pose as prostitutes at a funeral home that acts as a front for a supposed prostitution ring. By the way, I am completely serious. "Bordello of Blood" is a crazed mess that is so hilarious because of its stupidity that it nearly becomes a deceptive winner. This is the second film of the mid-1990s from "The Tales From the Crypt" HBO series (the equally under-achieving "Demon Knight" was released in 1995). I personally like this picture a little more because it does not take itself too seriously and almost works better as a parody. However the film never rises from its very odd premise as its tone is unclear and the immensely funny situations are sometimes over-shadowed by very graphic violence and constant sexual situations. Arguably Miller's finest performance (go figure that one too) and the steamy vampires are not quite enough to keep "Bordello of Blood" from needing a shot for its STDs (Seriously Tedious Dilemmas). 2 stars out of 5.

Blood, breasts, vampires and Chris Sarandon. How can you go wrong?

"Bordello of Blood," the second "Tales From The Crypt" feature film, supplies the viewer with ample amounts of all of the above, leaving room for little else. What it lacks in story, it more than makes up for in its cheap thrills, and as far as midnight guilty pleasures go, this one is about as good as it gets.

The story revolves around a good-girl (Erika Eleniak) whose delinquent brother (Corey Feldman) goes missing. Upon hiring a wise-cracking private detective, it is revealed that a local morgue is housing a brothel run by a gang of beautiful but deadly vampires. Armed with super-soakers full of holy water and with the help of a guitar-slinging reverend (Chris Sarandon), the two set out to put the joint out of business once and for all.

Dennis Miller is essentially playing himself, but keeps the humor pumping through the film's ridiculous premise. Chris Sarandon, likewise, is in top form as the genre hero he truly is. As mentioned before, there's plenty of bare-flesh and red-stuff to go around, and if that sort of thing is your bag, you'll have a blast with "Bordello of Blood." Take it for the cheap thrill ride it is.

Ok, I am a female, so I really got annoyed by all the nudity in it of women... but, besides that, I think people are being too hard on this movie... If you rent a Tales From The Crypt movie, don't expect something very good... but I was a little dissapointed when I saw this, because I think Demon Knight is about one of the best horrors made, and I was surprised that their second film was far different than Demon Knight... This one, Bordello Of Blood, was more funny than anything (quite funny humor I must admit at some points in the movie) with gore, that's all it was, funny and bloody, I was shocked that this movie really didn't have a real plot to it (none that I realized anyway) except obviously, there was vampires, and they wanted them dead... Did I miss something? In Demon Knight, there was a strong plot, great acting, (Especially, Billy Zane...) And funny, gory, exciting, etc., but this was just... pretty plain. If you are expecting a good vampire movie out of this, go watch something else... may I recommend John Carpenter's Vampires? A more serious, believable vampire movie =), but hey, COME ON... this movie isn't THAT bad... is it? The whole idea of it was dumb, and I think made for men, and that isn't fair to us female fans of Tales From The Crypt... am I missing something? Well, maybe the "boss" the cryptkeeper IS a guy, I guess he has say-so about what is put in the movies...

While I enjoyed the humor and the Crypt Keepers puns more in this than in Demon Knight, the overall experience of this is just slightly inferior. This one suffers mainly under not having such an entertaining villain/main monster as the first one; Lilith does have some decent lines, but almost all of them were sexual innuendos, which gets old a little too fast. The Collector was more entertaining, with his cynical and sarcastic personality. There's also less "action" in this one, though there might be slightly more gore. In this one, the plot also moves along a little too slowly, considering the fact that it's only meant as entertainment; with that in mind, you have to wonder why it takes so long to tell the story and get to the gore and blood. The ending sequence was also slightly less entertaining and exciting than the one in Demon Knight. Like Demon Knight, the film manages to bring in plenty of both sex and violence, often both at the same time. Apart from Rafe(Dennis Miller), there weren't really any interesting or entertaining characters. Miller does a really great job, portraying the type of character he usually does; a slimy, sarcastic jerk. That is the Miller that we fans know and love. It's nice to see him in a role that compliments his talents so well. The film, like Demon Knight, is very gory and violent, although apart from the Crypt Keepers puns, and some of Miller's lines, this didn't have that much to offer. It's good enough to watch, if you've got 90 minutes to kill, and you don't want to see Demon Knight, don't want to re-watch it, or can't find it. The films are both worth watching, but I'd suggest Demon Knight over this one. I recommend it(like the first) to fans of gory horror films, and people who just want to be entertained for 90 minutes without having to think very much. 6/10