La reine des vampires

Let's face it...this was a B-movie, Universal just put some more money into it. They massacred the vampire lore, but since this is a B-movie, it doesn't matter. Dennis Miller is hilarious as always; and what cheesy horror flick is genuine without Corey Feldman. The only discrepancy I have with this movie are the Cryptkeeper segments. They were just a remake of a Cryptkeeper segment from a TV episode. The only difference was that William Sadler was dressed up as the mummy instead of the Grim Reaper (a reprisal of his role in "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey").

Dennis Miller tries to stop a group of female bi-sexual vampires (led by the ultra-erotic Angie Everhart) who pose as prostitutes at a funeral home that acts as a front for a supposed prostitution ring. By the way, I am completely serious. "Bordello of Blood" is a crazed mess that is so hilarious because of its stupidity that it nearly becomes a deceptive winner. This is the second film of the mid-1990s from "The Tales From the Crypt" HBO series (the equally under-achieving "Demon Knight" was released in 1995). I personally like this picture a little more because it does not take itself too seriously and almost works better as a parody. However the film never rises from its very odd premise as its tone is unclear and the immensely funny situations are sometimes over-shadowed by very graphic violence and constant sexual situations. Arguably Miller's finest performance (go figure that one too) and the steamy vampires are not quite enough to keep "Bordello of Blood" from needing a shot for its STDs (Seriously Tedious Dilemmas). 2 stars out of 5.

Private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is hired by Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) to find her missing brother Caleb (Corey Feldman). Rafe's search leads him to a brothel run by centuries-old vampire Lilith (Angie Everhart). The second of the 'Tales from the Crypt Presents' movies is nowhere near as good as the criminally underrated Demon Knight. It's not a scary movie, nor does it really try to be. It's a comedy, with Dennis Miller having a ball throwing out one liner after one liner. If only the rest of the movie matched his performance. The story is so slight you'll wonder if the entire script was jotted down on a napkin. The movie's primary selling point is sex and nudity, of which there is not a lot. Especially disappointing when you consider that the two most well-known women in the film, Everhart and Eleniak, never appear nude. Still, a fun tone with a great turn by Miller makes it worth watching once.

I don't have much of an opinion on this flick. Because what's there to analyze? Gratuitous violence. Gratuitous gore. Gross-out effects strictly for shock value. Gratuitous nudity and close-ups of big breasts. What we have here is a feminist's nightmare. What we also have is an absolute blast!!!

I'm sure women won't enjoy this as much and will probably b*tch about the overdose of female nudity, but for all you guys who just don't give a damn and just want to kick back and have a good time: You will love this movie!! This is like a mix of Wes Craven and Howard Stern. A supreme guilty pleasure!

I enjoy deep, artistically brilliant films like "American Beauty" and "Magnolia," but there's no reason I can't enjoy a campy, shallow, sleazy horror flick like this. I don't ONLY enjoy these types of flicks, but I can enjoy it as long as it's done in a fun, tongue-in-cheek, unpretentious manner. I just want to get that straight. OK, I'll go on. :)

Dennis Miller provides great comic relief in his lead role. Those who are fans of his schtick should look forward to this movie. The horror sequences, though sometimes cheesy, are great fun to watch. There's a spectacular sequence at the end with excellent usage of the song "Ballroom Blitz." There are other great classics like "All Right Now" and "Jailbreak." That's why I bought the soundtrack. It's awesome!

So this movie fits the "guy flick" stereotype like a glove. If you're not in the mood for excessive violence, gore and female nudity--don't watch this movie! Don't say I didn't warn you.

My score: 7 (out of 10)

As a horror movie that doesn't take itself seriously at all, Bordello is okay. It's hard to believe that Miller gives it such a hard time on his HBO show: it's not bad for what it is: a trashy little horror/humor/camp movie that gives Miller center-stage with his own brand of humorous asides. The ending is kinda twisty, Aubrey Morris' performance is downright weird but amusing, and there's plenty of new-style horror "gore" thrown in. The female leads are pretty much wasted, and there's way too much unnecessary nudity. Bordello's real problem is simply that it pales in comparison to the excellently done Demon Knight. It's basically a whole different, campy concept (and what's up with Will Sadler's wasted cameo as the Mummy?). It's okay, but nothing special: Dennis Miller fans will get a kick out of it.