Killer Kondom

You've heard-it, and probably said-it: "Germans aren't funny, they have no-sense-of-humor", but it's untrue. How do I know this? The existence of this film, silly. This is an absolute laugh-riot from-the-get-go, the hilarious "Killer Kondom". A lot of North American-men will feel-uneasy watching a film that revels-in gay-culture, but this is some great social-satire too. Virtually every sexual-taboo is explored here, so Killer Kondom isn't exactly a date-film, heh-heh. But, if you want to remove uptight, unwanted company, you could do worse. You have to admire something this funny, yet-annoying. Ferchrissakes, that's what a "cult-film" IS. This could never, ever be distributed in-theaters within the territorial-United States. Our culture could not-withstand this film in that medium or setting, especially for the rampant homosexual-themes.

Maybe the funniest-thing is that the film takes-place in New York City, with an all-German cast speaking their native-language. This-alone is pretty funny, but that's before you reach the plot! The story is pretty-simple: male-clients of prostitutes are being-castrated by penis-eating creatures in a seedy New York Hotel (amazingly, not the Chelsea!). The protagonist-cop has to discover what the attacks are, and who originated-them, and why. It's quite-a-trip to the ending, and often hair-raising, especially if you're male. The depiction of American Midwesterners is hilarious in the prologue with the Hayseed-father The story is a camp-noir-horror, involving a very-ugly gay-cop, lots of subplots of his past-relationships, and lots of baiting-and-chasing of the condoms.

You could say this film makes-fun of several-genres, sometimes all in one-scene! From gumshoe-detective films, to John Waters grossout-insanity, to some truly-bizarre scenarios, this film has-it-all for those who love trash-cinema. A number of the scenes and makeup were designs-by Swiss-surrealist, H. R. Geiger, though several never made-it to the final-cut. I've seen his sketches, and they were downright-Medieval. Too-bad, as his concepts were what made this film worth-a-looky! Troma's DVD is passable, with lousy-audio, but it's cheap and fun, just like a one-night-stand. A cult-classic with a "Get-the-F%*#-Outta-Here!!!" -ending. If you find religious-intolerance of-sexuality bad, this film will definitely resonate.

This trashy masterpiece is based on a cartoon by the great German cartoonist Ralf König (he is still quite unknown outside his home country and especially in the US for some reason). Your typical hardboiled, cynical, chain-smoking trench-coat wearing Italian detective stalks the street of New York. Only this one is openly gay, and is famous for his enormous..."schwanstucker". At the Hotel Quickie in his district, an alarming number of men have lost theirs. Over-eager hookers are first suspected, but our hero soon discovers the truth when he goes to the hotel and almost loses his – to a condom with teeth! Who may be behind this fiendish creature, and how is detective Macaroni going to convince others of the existence of this killer contraceptive before it strikes again? Unlike most Troma films this film actually have a rather good and coherent (but extremely absurd) plot. It is a satirical comedy that is actually played straight for the most part. For being a European film it actually had quite a big budget. It is also interesting to notice that lots of famous German actors and celebrities clamoured to get roles in this film that would have made Hollywood stars run away in terror screaming "Career killer!!!". The bearishly handsome and openly gay actor Udo Samel who stars as detective Macaroni has previously played in famous German masterpieces such as Far Away So Close and Kasper Hauser. There is a tender (but funny) love story included too. There is no frontal nudity but there are some sex scenes that might offend. But if you are easily offended, why are you here?

The DVD version includes some nice animated menus, some Troma extras and a great comment track by the director and special effects supervisor. There are lots of funny anecdotes about the directors claiming to be making a documentary so they will get permission to film in famous locations, police officers closing off New York streets for hours, stunts that went horribly wrong, and all the gruesome scenes that were cut. "For some reason they cut a close-up shot here of the condom on the floor after it had just...fed. I can't see why. I think it was a beautiful shot". At one point there is a nice fade from a flashback sequence, into a reflection in a window, and then a pan as the actor turns and walks away into the distance. The director explains how he did it, and then with a big laugh adds "But this was probably lost on the average Troma viewer!" Alien designer Giger is included in the credits as a creative consultant, but he joined the filming so late he could basically only say "yes, that looks good" about the designs already made. The film is in German with English subtitles. Unfortunately you can't turn the subtitles off, they are not on a separate track but for what its worth, it is a very good translation. American viewers might find it amusing to see German actors speaking German pretending to be New Yorkers, but as the directors point out, that is what Hollywood does to the rest of the world all the time.

The second half of the movie is unfortunately less polished (relatively speaking of course) than the first because the makers ran out of time and money. Lots of scenes were cut from the second half, which makes some subplots a little confusing, but the directors admit that the film would probably have been even better if some more stuff had been cut from the last half. However, it is still a good film and I can recommend it if you are a fan of trashy entertainment.

A brilliant piece of tongue-in-cheek work. Played with magnificent straightness and forthrightness. This movie has so many things lacking in modern film. It has mad scientists, deranged religious maniacs, New York City, Italian detectives, hard-bitten police chiefs, loves lost, loves found, loves misplaced and never looked for. We get to see the deranged work of genius put to the evil task of eliminating the impure before the second coming of the Messiah. Major bummer that He's a regular patron of the 'Hotel Quicky." Watch it, laugh at it, enjoy it. It's worth your time.

No, not necessarily...as KILLER CONDOM goes on to prove, that the fine line dividing mainstream comedy and good old-fashioned tasteless exploitation, has all but vanished.

At the "Hotel Quickie," a New York City hotel/brothel, mostly male hookers and tricks are falling prey to a slew of razor-fanged prophylactics. Yes, castrating "carnivorous condoms," which, actually turn out to be man-made creatures concocted by a man-hating, ultra-conservative, religious fanatic psycho to wipe out homosexuals, hookers and other unsavory "perverts!" A grizzled, gruff and gay cop, who loses his "right nut" to one, is on the case.

Other than running the gamut of penis and testicle synonyms, this vulgar, often side-splitting, deadpan horror/comedy does an fairly decent job satirizing politics, religion and sexual taboos and serves as a focused, pointed and blunt look at the gay lifestyle (and the stereotypes it creates) from a refreshingly pro-gay agenda--a first in the world of horror. It's surprisingly well made, directed and acted, too, with big time cult movie potential. The video is subtitled and unrated. Very much recommended (if you're open-minded)!

In New York, four men have their penis ripped in room 308 of the cheap Hotel Quickie. The Sicilian homosexual smoker Detective Luigi Mackeroni (Ude Samel) is in charge of the investigation. While inquiring in the hotel, Mackeroni has a crush on the prostitute Billy (Marc Richter), goes with Billy to room 308 and they have intercourse in the crime scene. Luigi uses the condom supplied as compliment by the hotel and it eats his testicle. The official version for the police department is that Billy torn Mackeroni's testicle, and nobody believes in Mackeroni's version. After many other mutilations, Mackeroni finds that a fanatic religious woman intends to destroy gays, hookers, travesties and other perverts, using this weird specimen developed in the laboratory to castrate men.

"Killer Condom" is one of the funniest politically incorrect trash cult movies I have ever seen. The story is narrated in off, as if it were a film-noir. Detective Luigi Mackeroni, the hero of the story, is gay; the former detective Bob is now Babbete, a travesty who sings in a brothel. Babbete had a three minutes affair with a drunken Mackeroni in the past and has been in love with him since then. Billy is the boyfriend of Mackeroni. Most of the story takes place in mundane places, such as the hotel / brothel where the crimes happen, full of hookers, homosexuals and perverts, and satirizes mainly fanatic religious, conservative groups and politicians. The first time I saw this movie was on 01 July 2000 on VHS. Today, I have just watched it for the second time and laughed a lot again. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "Camisinha Assassina" ("Killer Condom")

Note: On 08 November 2014, I saw this movie again.