Demolition High

I caught this on TV one day when I was bored and waiting on some people. The movie kept my attention the entire time because it was so god awful. Corey Haim in a Bruce Willis "Die Hard" type role, Alan Thicke playing a hardened police chief, Dick Van Patten as a general, and a bunch of goofy terrorists who just happen to have as super model type as one of them. How can you go wrong? The special effects are lame, especially the guided missile that looks like a rocket model kit that you build at home only on a bigger scale.

This movie is terrible, make no mistake about it. But it's so terrible that you can't help but laugh and watch to see just how cheesy it's going to get. It's actually quite entertaining.

Remember Toy Soldiers? Well, add Jim Wynorski and a low-budget and you get the picture. With more action, too. I'd call this Corey Haim's comeback performance. He's been in so many cheesy movies, we had all wondered. Demolition High is a fine action film in the mold of Die Hard...in school. School sucked, but this one seems better. And you got a whole slew of cameos. Some of the death scenes are inventive, too = 1. terrorist flying into band saw 2. lady terrorist getting stabbed by a ton of pencils shot from a fire extinguisher. My only complaint: there's like a total of 20 kids at this entire school. What, was Wynorski short of extras? Jim, throw me in part three, please!

Corey Haim is a tough kid supposedly from The Bronx when his new high school gets infiltrated by terrorists with some convoluted plan to shoot a missile at a local nuclear energy plant. Becomes Home Alone meets Die Hard as he uses his science knowledge to kill bad guys with improvised traps. Alan Thicke plays his policeman father with an I-couldn't-care-less attitude. Watch for the painful scene where the lead girl accidentally bangs her face into a van's interior...ouch.

The only thing worth watching this movie for is to see what a really bad movie is. The principal has a gun in his desk, a cop leaves his wounded partner in the middle of the street, and Corey Haim has a bowl cut. The only thing that would make this movie worse is if Corey Feldman was there also, but alas, I was left disappointed. I think they filmed this movie in the same school they used for Big Bully. I don't know whats worse, knowing that, or admitting to watching Big Bully. I did however learn that you can use a fire extinguisher to launch calligraphy pens like blow darts. I need to try that sometime. I give this movie a .053 out of 10, for the clever use of a fire extinguisher.

To get started, I gotta say I love my one-line summary. It works on so many levels. OK, with that out of the way it's true that this low budget "Die Hard in a high school" is moderately amusing, but even moderately amusing is like finding gold as far as Jim Wynorski movies of the past decade or so go. Poor Jim's last really good film was "Hard to Die" and that was 1990. He made three films in 1996: This, "Vampirella", and "The Assault" so trust me when I say nowadays to paraphrase Meatloaf, ONE outta THREE for Mr. Wynorki ain't bad. Not to over-hype this movie as it's still not as good as his movies from his heyday of the '80's, just that I'm glad that this film isn't a total turd.

My Grade: C

Where I saw It: Showtime