Carnosaur 3

This is one of the most hilariously bad movies I have ever had the privilege to see.

I watched this on DVD with a bunch of friends one Friday night and we just couldn't stop laughing from start to finish.

The story is simple enough: terrorists hijack a convoy they think is carrying weapons grade uranium, but it's actually carrying a bunch of man-eating dinosaurs. Easy mistake to make. Cue a startlingly incompetent team of Army Special Forces to tackle the prehistoric beasts. They are led by Colonel Rance, played by Scott Valentine; a man who seems to have perfected 'Smell the fart' acting, as advocated by Joey in Friends.

There's plenty of gore and an awful lot of shooting, but unfortunately Rance's team seem to have a problem aiming their weapons in the general direction of a horde of giant, lumbering monsters. Also, the lights always seem to flicker and go out whenever a Velociraptor attacks (preumably so we can't see how bad the creature effects are).

Having said all that, we all had a great deal of fun betting on who was going to get their head bitten off next.

As a Jusassic Park / Aliens style action adventure this movie stinks worse than a dinosaur's crotch, but as ludicrous, tongue-in-cheek entertainment it's a roaring success.

The entire Carnosaurs-series often gets made fun of but in all truth and honesty, they are somewhat enjoyable for what they are and not all that bad at all, with the exception of the first movie.

The thing that I particularly like about the series is that none of the movies are related and each movie is basically a new story, with different characters and settings. It makes the series incredibly differs and makes each movie feel new and fresh. It also totally isn't necessary to watch the previous two movies, before you watch this one. Every one of them can be watched independently from each other.

But no, don't worry, I'm not completely crazy. Of course this is not a great movie by any means but it at least is fun and also very self aware. Thing with this movie and all of the previous ones as well, is that it knows that its bad. Especially also the actors seem to be very well aware of this. Because of this, the movie never gets awkward but simply enjoyable to watch instead.

Now, the whole idea of the movie itself is quite stretched out however. The characters for the longest time are very busy with a whole bunch of stuff, expect for trying to find and kill the dinosaur. The movie too often really isn't going anywhere with its story, or any of its characters. Still, this doesn't make the movie annoying or anything. Just a tad bit ridicules but it strangely enough adds to the movie its entertainment value at the same time.

The action and killings are being somewhat disappointing but then again, I wasn't expecting too much from it anyway. After all, the entire series isn't exactly known for its creativity and originality.

It's watchable enough as a B-movie flick but it of course is far from being a great movie as well!

4/10

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All Jurassic Park fans should love this. It's a low budget Jurassic Park only scarier and gorier.

It starts off with a few pathetic terrorists trying to steal Uranium to build a weapon but when opening what they've stolen they find out that it's 2 Velociraptors. They've also stolen an asexual reproducing T-rex which appears later in the film. Their mistake proves fatal. The army investigate it. They find out about the Carnosaurs but they have to capture them alive. This proves difficult.

The special effects weren't great but at least they didn't hide the dinosaurs so the audience could barely see them.

This film is gory so if your squeamish avoid this film at all costs and there is enough gore to satisfy gore hounds. This film is also scary and suspenseful.

I recommend this film to all those people who loved Jurassic Park. If you see it and its cheap, buy it! 8 out of 10.

What makes the Carnosaur so frightening is that it kills for the sake of killing. The army kills and destroys for national security. The terrorists kill for their own personal benefit. But the Carnosaur... it just kills! If the carnosaurs killed exclusively for dietary purposes (i.e. they were hungry, they didn't get enough protein/calcium/fat/B-vitamins), they wouldn't necessarily eat humans. The scene in Carnosaur 3, in which the soldiers bait the dinosaur with non- human meat and the Carnosaur instinctively attacks the humans exemplifies how Carnosaurs do not follow their stomachs. If the Carno were hungry, it would have just went for the leg of ham (or whatever the hell the soldiers used for bait), but instead it went for the far inferior human meat. They are called Carnosaurs not because they eat meat, but because they are far different from the reptiles that walked the earth eons ago. They are much more unscrupulous, depraved, stealthy, sexy and cunning than the large clumsy animals seen in Jurassic Park. The Carnosaur is the chthonic species of what we refer to as Dinosaur. Beware their wrath.

Primal Species (1996, Dir. Jonathan Winfrey)

International terrorists get a surprise when their cargo turn out to contain living dinosaurs. The army commando team now have to think fast, if they want to prevent the extinction of the human species, instead of the reptiles.

You look at the cover and you gain your first impressions of the film. That is pretty much it. The acting is only just acceptable from a few characters. The story is poor, with the whole film based on the army and the marines trying to kill the dinosaurs. This film came out three years after 'Jurassic Park'. Instead, this film looks to have come out 13 years before 'Jurassic Park'. The dinosaurs costumes are so poorly made, and i do mean costumes. There are obviously people dressed up, and this film makes no attempts at hiding this. A scene when a dinosaur runs down a corridor is created in a way, in which it looks like someone is riding the creature. The is one good thing, which comes out of this film. The short running time. At only 1 hour and 15 minutes, it doesn't waste too much of your life, but still try to avoid it altogether.

"It's like a Friday the 13th Nightmare." - Officer (Brian Currie)